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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on April 27, 2005, at 20:16:48
It seems I am getting closer to the edge.....
I cut myself tonight and instead of crying, it was such a sense of calmness. I am afraid now. I have never done that before. But my life is falling apart and it seems like thats the path i want to take. I hate (HATE) having to hurt those who do care about me..(not to many) and I know its selfish, but I think its what has been meant to be for me for a very long time.....we'll see what happens next...
S
Posted by Phillipa on April 27, 2005, at 21:36:14
In reply to such calmness........, posted by woolav on April 27, 2005, at 20:16:48
Call your pdoc ASAP or get to an emergency room with a psych ward. I've heard the calmness hits when someone has decided to committ suicide. We care a lot about you her on Babble. Please don't harm yourself. Do you have family or friends with you? I know they don't want you to harm yourself either. Please get help now! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by D minor on April 27, 2005, at 22:09:30
In reply to such calmness........, posted by woolav on April 27, 2005, at 20:16:48
Woolav,
please get help now! Please! Call 911 or call your pdoc's emergency number. NOW. Believe me, trust me. You can't play around with this. I have been EXACTLY where you are. You will appreciate it later but right now you need the help.dm
Posted by tom_traubert on April 27, 2005, at 22:35:25
In reply to such calmness........, posted by woolav on April 27, 2005, at 20:16:48
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO US!!
You are not in a state to judge what's best for you right now. TRUST US. We care about you, we want you to be ok, please take care of this before it gets any worse. Call your pdoc's emergency number, do whatever you need to.
We care about you!! Get help now!
Posted by D minor on April 28, 2005, at 1:09:16
In reply to Re: such calmness........, posted by tom_traubert on April 27, 2005, at 22:35:25
Dear Woolav,
I hope that by now you are safe in the hosptial or with your husband and pdoc. If you happen to be online there is something I want you to know.I wasn't exaggerating when I said I've been exactly where you are. About two years ago, before I was diagnosed, I had what was probably a hypomanic episode. I felt like flirting with everything that had two legs. It lead to a relationship and a near-affair with a co-worker. Then came the depression. I was overcome with guilt. I begain cutting, both to
"punish" myself, and to releave the pain I felt inside.To make a long story short, I ended up in the hospital. Which was, I am sure, the best place for me at the time. I'm thinking that is where you need to be now. It was a process that took time, but they got me diagnosed and my meds sorted out. It really helped. My anguish was eased. My husband forgave me, and I forgave myself. Things got better.
So I guess what I'm trying to let you know is that things will get better. You may feel pretty hopless right now, but there are so many things that can be done to ease the pain you are going through. You can't change the past, but you set in your heart what you will do with your future.
So, if you haven't yet, pick up the phone and call for help. Please! If not for yourself, then for the one's you love.
Let us know when you can how you are doing. But your health is the priority right now.
I'll be praying for you,
dm
Posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 1:56:27
In reply to Are you OK?, posted by D minor on April 28, 2005, at 1:09:16
I know when people tell me to go to the hospital because of suicide ideas, I never go. so the chance you don't end up in the hospital, that right now you can stop hurting yourself and stop talking about suicide and that will keep you out of the hospital, it is much easier coping on an outpatient basis. just chill, realize things will get better (and then get worse again and get better and...) and work with your pdoc/therapist on a plan. be sure to tell them it was suicide ideas and not suicide plans and just don't hurt yourself. that is my experience.
good luck,
fellow depression sufferer
Posted by woolav on April 28, 2005, at 9:26:02
In reply to Re: Are you OK?, posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 1:56:27
Im still here. I havent gone to the hospital. I think that my husband would think it was just a cop-out to get his sympathy..(read prev. posts about this) on social babble...I know that I will have to get help soon. I like the idea of outpatient care, because I dont want to disrupt my daughters life. I dont think that anyone (but us) realize what manic depression really is. People think its a joke or that you can just over come it by yourself. When its not a physical ailment than ppl dont take it seriouslly. I think that my husband is leaving me and I hope I can keep it together for my daughters sake. Its just really hard right now.
Thank you all for caring and I will keep your thoughts in mind.
S
Posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 11:09:17
In reply to Re: Are you OK?, posted by woolav on April 28, 2005, at 9:26:02
> Im still here. I havent gone to the hospital. I think that my husband would think it was just a cop-out to get his sympathy..(read prev. posts about this) on social babble...I know that I will have to get help soon. I like the idea of outpatient care, because I dont want to disrupt my daughters life. I dont think that anyone (but us) realize what manic depression really is. People think its a joke or that you can just over come it by yourself. When its not a physical ailment than ppl dont take it seriouslly. I think that my husband is leaving me and I hope I can keep it together for my daughters sake. Its just really hard right now.
> Thank you all for caring and I will keep your thoughts in mind.
> SIt's good that your OK. Outpatient IS better, can you remember the last time you were in the hospital??? Yelling and screaming, overworked staff, stigma, possibly the police bringing you there, bad food, freedom taken away, I mean talk about stress. (unless you have a 'club med' type hosp. to go to.. I don't.) We tend to forget how bad the mental hospital is until we're back in and the orderlies want to put you in the quiet room, or they scedule you a risk and they follow you everywhere-even the bathroom.
Sorry your husband is leaving, but it's going to be what it's going to be reguardless of how bad you feel about it. Change is ALWAYS good when the dust settles and you get a new plan, it's scary but it's better not to go kicking and screaming.
Hope this helps because helping you helps me!
Posted by D minor on April 28, 2005, at 13:41:23
In reply to Re: Are you OK?, posted by woolav on April 28, 2005, at 9:26:02
Hey Woolav,
Ask your husband if he will go to counseling with you. That would be a really great way for both of you to learn more about how your illness plays into your relationship. Find a good marriage and familly therapist. You can fight for your marriage. I did it. I had a Bipolar friend who did it (even after filling out the papers). Its possible.I understand your not wanting to go to the hospital, but don't not go because of what others think. Have you at least made an emergency appointment with your pdoc? The best way for you to take care of your daughter is to take care of yourself. Really. Talk to someone, a pdoc or a counselor. ASAP.
Always in prayer,
dm
Posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 17:19:04
In reply to Re: Are you OK?, posted by D minor on April 28, 2005, at 13:41:23
> Hey Woolav,
> Ask your husband if he will go to counseling with you. That would be a really great way for both of you to learn more about how your illness plays into your relationship. Find a good marriage and familly therapist. You can fight for your marriage. I did it. I had a Bipolar friend who did it (even after filling out the papers). Its possible.
>
> I understand your not wanting to go to the hospital, but don't not go because of what others think. Have you at least made an emergency appointment with your pdoc? The best way for you to take care of your daughter is to take care of yourself. Really. Talk to someone, a pdoc or a counselor. ASAP.
>
> Always in prayer,
> dmI do agree that if you need to go to the hospital to remain safe you should go. I'm just expressing my coping skill, and trying to give you positive thoughts. I am not a doc so I don't expect you to take my advice just because of what I think. Just an option to consider.
DM.
I find it rude that you just discount my opinion (because what others think) just because you do not agree with me. I would not discount your opinion, and I obviously am not. There seems to be alot of that going on around here, and it's starting to make me defensive.
Posted by woolav on April 28, 2005, at 17:56:14
In reply to Re: Are you OK? » D minor, posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 17:19:04
Thanks everyone for your input and support. I dont know what I would do sometimes without this site and you guys. I did make an emergency appt with my pdoc, but cant see her until monday. And monday just happens to be my 33rd birthday...great way to spend part of the day. But oh well. I think its a good idea about marriage councilling. I will see if he will think about that. I want my marriage to work and for him to understand me. I have actually never been to a inpatient facility. And I know it would scare me thats why i dont want to go. I told my husband that unless he finds me clinging to life in a pool of bloody bath water, that will be the only way i will get admitted. I am trying to think positive (i may have some hope that my marriage will work) so that is helping alot. But I do want to talk with my doc so she can help me. I need diff meds or something. So, I will let you guys know monday what she says..........
S
Posted by D minor on April 28, 2005, at 17:56:35
In reply to Re: Are you OK? » D minor, posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 17:19:04
> DM.
> I find it rude that you just discount my opinion (because what others think) just because you do not agree with me. I would not discount your opinion, and I obviously am not. There seems to be alot of that going on around here, and it's starting to make me defensive.Dear MedHead,
I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to contradict or discount you in any way. I'm not sure what you mean. To be honest, I did not closely read your responses. Since I was pressed for time and I was just trying to respond as quickly as possible to Woolav's posts because I was really worried about her, I really only read her links. I didn't think that I would be offinding anyone. I guess I should just keep my mouth shut.Sorry to everyone,
dm
Posted by Phillipa on April 28, 2005, at 17:57:54
In reply to Re: Are you OK? » D minor, posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 17:19:04
Calm down guys and remember we're here to help each other not to prove who's right or wrong. I have posted on Administration that on PBabble we are able to settle our disputes by ourselves. So let's just continue to express our opinions and not get angry if it doesn't agree with what we think. Woolav is the one who will weigh what we say and make her own decisions. I just want her to be okay. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 18:21:32
In reply to Re: Are you OK?, posted by D minor on April 28, 2005, at 17:56:35
>
> > DM.
> > I find it rude that you just discount my opinion (because what others think) just because you do not agree with me. I would not discount your opinion, and I obviously am not. There seems to be alot of that going on around here, and it's starting to make me defensive.
>
> Dear MedHead,
> I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to contradict or discount you in any way. I'm not sure what you mean. To be honest, I did not closely read your responses. Since I was pressed for time and I was just trying to respond as quickly as possible to Woolav's posts because I was really worried about her, I really only read her links. I didn't think that I would be offinding anyone. I guess I should just keep my mouth shut.
>
> Sorry to everyone,
> dm
>No sweat! Like I said, I might be getting a little defensive and misunderstood you too. So I am sorry also. I was thinking I should keep my mouth shut too... perhaps neither of us needs to keep our mouths shut. I always feel judged anyway, it's a hard complex to overcome. It must be me not you, I'm always having this problem, trying to read into other peoples thinking just doesn't work well.
The important thing is woolav is making a decision, and making a decision always makes ME feel better, and wollav says she feels better.
No foul, thanx,
Posted by Phillipa on April 28, 2005, at 18:31:41
In reply to Re: Are you OK? » D minor, posted by medhed on April 28, 2005, at 18:21:32
You guys are really Great! But for goodness sake don't anyone feel that they should not speak. We Babblers gain a great deal of knowledge from each other. And it helps to hear different perspectives. I'm just glad we can solve our own problems. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by vivi on April 28, 2005, at 21:30:57
In reply to Re: such calmness........, posted by tom_traubert on April 27, 2005, at 22:35:25
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO US!!
>
> You are not in a state to judge what's best for you right now. TRUST US. We care about you, we want you to be ok, please take care of this before it gets any worse. Call your pdoc's emergency number, do whatever you need to.
>
> We care about you!! Get help now!CALL your on-call Doc and go to the ER. PlEASE take care. we are all here for you,
Viv
Posted by partlycloudy on April 29, 2005, at 9:17:35
In reply to Re: Are you OK? I think I will be, posted by woolav on April 28, 2005, at 17:56:14
I'm glad you've got an appointment with your p-doc. Please keep safe this weekend - post here if you need us. I'm always happy to keep a fellow babbler propped up!
partlycloudy
This is the end of the thread.
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