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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alienatari on February 22, 2005, at 4:03:07
Enyone else feel as though, even though their family cares, they just dont "get it" in regard to their mental illness?
My Mother in regard to my Bipolar disorder said to me that "your Father is right, you try and terrify me all the time on purpose". Its as if to say she feels as though I have "chosen" to be bipolar. I dont chose to get depressed or manic. God, who would?!
She also thinks I should not try another antidepressant, even though Im depressed and suicidal, saying that i am "ok" and that im "not depressed". How would she know? arghh ok im ranting lol. Sorry.
I do have a question though. As I am coming off parnate now (under psych advice) because I couldnt handle the side effects, I dont know what else is left? I have tried most antidepressants with little or no result. I dont know what to do. I refuse to take Nardil, I really dont want to be on another MAOI. I think the risk of stroke is just too much of a worry for me. When I was younger and was anorexic I had some kind of stroke/episode (it never really got explained) where I lost my ability to talk for a while and that was pretty scary I dont want anything like that to ever happen again, or for something worse to happen. My psychatrist wont perscribe lamictal. He wont perscribe Ritalin or anything else like that (he says i dont have ADHD so he wont perscribe it(but i dont think id take it anyway because again I am scared of medication that can potentially increase blood pressure). It doesnt make sence to me. He will give little kids ritalin and amphetamines but not me, even though Im an adult? Go figure. I was thinking maybe tegretol? I have read that it has some anti-depressant effects but again I dont know.
Ive just been on so many drugs im really sick of it all. Ive probably been on close to 35 different medications in total for my mental problems in the last few years. Its crazy. But i know a lot of you on this group are in the same boat as me. Anyway thanks for reading and take care.
Posted by Glydin on February 22, 2005, at 8:16:38
In reply to Unable to relate to family members?, posted by alienatari on February 22, 2005, at 4:03:07
> Enyone else feel as though, even though their family cares, they just dont "get it" in regard to their mental illness?
~~~I'm thinking no one can really "get it" unless they experience it. It's even difficult to relate to a mental illness that differs from the one you experience. Probably even if it's the same, as we are all so different in your responses. Some families, friends, etc, are better than others at trying to have empathy.
> She also thinks I should not try another antidepressant, even though Im depressed and suicidal, saying that i am "ok" and that im "not depressed". How would she know? arghh ok im ranting lol. Sorry.~~~She doesn't know. Only you know what you are going through. She's probably very concerned about you despite how it may seem.
If you are BP, have you done mood stabilizers? -- probably so, if you trialed the number of meds you say, but if you haven't recently, may be it's worth another thought to discuss with your doc.
Posted by Bill LL on February 22, 2005, at 9:47:24
In reply to Unable to relate to family members?, posted by alienatari on February 22, 2005, at 4:03:07
You seem like a very bright and intuitive person. You are absolutely right that people who are not depressed or bipolar cannot know what it is like. Even parents who really do love their kids very much tend to downplay these conditions and try to avoid medications for their kids thinking that they don't need them.
There are 2 antidepressants, Effexor and Cymbalta (duloxetine) which are different than the others in that they affect both serotonin and norepinephrine (NE). Have you tried them? Cymbalta (a relatively new drug) is different than Effexor in that it affects the 2 neurotransmitters even at a low dosage.
In regards to the stimulants such as Ritalin, it's a shame that your doctor will not let you try it since it acts very quickly and you can therefore see very quickly if it will help you. If it does increase your blood pressure, that can then be treated separately. You might want to eventually consider looking for a new doctor who will let you try a stimulant.
Posted by mayajade on February 22, 2005, at 12:15:42
In reply to Re: Unable to relate to family members?, posted by Bill LL on February 22, 2005, at 9:47:24
It's difficult and hurtful when your family doesn't understand what you're going through with mental illness. Some families have more trouble than others being empathetic. In the past, especially, some parents worried that the way they raised their child contributed to the child's mental illness. So parents denied the child's problems out of guilt or fear of being blamed. NAMI has education and support for families if yours would be open to that. If your family is not open to being educated, I would not look to them for more than they can give. Sometimes we have to accept that we're not going to get it from our families and look elsewhere for support - therapist, friends, support group, etc.
Have you tried mood stabilizers? I have bipolar II and anti-depressants never worked for me, or made me hypomanic. I'm taking Gabitril (tiagabine), which is an anti-seizure drug that's also used for anxiety and as a mood stabilizer. There are others, as you may know - Depakote, Lamictal, etc. Talk with your doctor, and good luck.
Posted by Chris O on February 22, 2005, at 15:49:32
In reply to Unable to relate to family members?, posted by alienatari on February 22, 2005, at 4:03:07
Alienatari:
I've never responded to you before, but gosh, a gut level reaction to what your parents said is: That is so terrible! I mean, how unsympathetic can you get? I feel for you. In my opinion, it's a miracle
a lot of us are still around, with the horrible parenting we got. Not trying to blame my, or anyone's, parents, just recognizing that many of us with mental illness just were not nurtured or cared for enough as children. And then, as adults, we have to go through the task of trying to relate to our parents as a adults, when they have damaged a part of us to such a state that we are drug dependant. That's the way I feel much of the time, anyway. I hope you find some peace of mind and the right med combo for yourself, alienatari. You deserve it.Chris
Posted by Phillipa on February 22, 2005, at 17:16:25
In reply to Re: Unable to relate to family members? » alienatari, posted by Chris O on February 22, 2005, at 15:49:32
It's true. Unless you've walked in the person's shoes you can't relate to what they're going through. My family is not supportive. It's especially hard when your kids say " just go do something, then you'll feel better". I too, had bad parenting, I just wish they were still alive to see what I'm going through as a result of this. I don't mean to condem them. I hope you get some relief for your suffering. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by med_empowered on February 22, 2005, at 22:39:18
In reply to Re: Unable to relate to family members?, posted by Phillipa on February 22, 2005, at 17:16:25
I don't know what to say about your parents...parents can be odd. My own parents tend to downplay my problems, until it suits them. For instance, the few times we fight, they blame it on my "problems," instead of listening to what I have to say and responding to it. Other parents have a tendency to act as though the child (adult or still a child) is doing something deliberately (like being depressed, manic, etc.) or they act as if something "caused" the illness (experimentation with drugs, something the parents did, etc.). It can be rough, and I've dealt with both the "you don't have bipolar" and "you're just acting like this because you're bipolar" sides of it. All I can say is...its generally not a mean, spiteful action on the parents' part; its just how some parents act when the child has issues later on. As for your meds...stimulants certainly can help, but if the blood-pressure issue is a big one for you, you may want to explore other options. That said...after 35 meds it may be time to do something radically new, or at least get a new doc. Good lucK!
Posted by Ritch on February 22, 2005, at 23:30:29
In reply to Unable to relate to family members?, posted by alienatari on February 22, 2005, at 4:03:07
> Enyone else feel as though, even though their family cares, they just dont "get it" in regard to their mental illness?
>Sometimes I think they pretend that they don't "get it" because many of them sometimes "have it" themselves or are very aware of other family members' problems that sound just like yours and it worries them.
> My Mother in regard to my Bipolar disorder said to me that "your Father is right, you try and terrify me all the time on purpose". Its as if to say she feels as though I have "chosen" to be bipolar. I dont chose to get depressed or manic. God, who would?!
I think that she is very worried about you and is somewhat scared. That's how she is reacting to you bringing it up. I never talked about it much to my parents. They were quick to encourage me to make an appointment to see my therapist or pdoc if there was a fight.. If you don't bring it up to them.. your behavior will have them bringing it up to you.. if it needs to be highlighted.>
> She also thinks I should not try another antidepressant, even though Im depressed and suicidal, saying that i am "ok" and that im "not depressed". How would she know? arghh ok im ranting lol. Sorry.Meds are in the spotlight politically nowadays. There are legitimate concerns about certain meds making things worse for bipolar. There are definite negative reactions I get to certain antidepressants / dosages. But, bipolar depression still needs to be treated. It is just very easy to make things worse if you aren't careful. Your Mom might just be getting a general anti-med mentality that may be partly based on some negative responses you have had to some unlucky med choices.
>
> I do have a question though. As I am coming off parnate now (under psych advice) because I couldnt handle the side effects, I dont know what else is left? I have tried most antidepressants with little or no result. I dont know what to do. I refuse to take Nardil, I really dont want to be on another MAOI. I think the risk of stroke is just too much of a worry for me. When I was younger and was anorexic I had some kind of stroke/episode (it never really got explained) where I lost my ability to talk for a while and that was pretty scary I dont want anything like that to ever happen again, or for something worse to happen. My psychatrist wont perscribe lamictal. He wont perscribe Ritalin or anything else like that (he says i dont have ADHD so he wont perscribe it(but i dont think id take it anyway because again I am scared of medication that can potentially increase blood pressure). It doesnt make sence to me. He will give little kids ritalin and amphetamines but not me, even though Im an adult? Go figure. I was thinking maybe tegretol? I have read that it has some anti-depressant effects but again I dont know.
>
> Ive just been on so many drugs im really sick of it all. Ive probably been on close to 35 different medications in total for my mental problems in the last few years. Its crazy. But i know a lot of you on this group are in the same boat as me. Anyway thanks for reading and take care.If you haven't taken Tegretol, and you have bipolar and have been on a lot of other meds without much success, I would say go for it. I'm feeling fairly stable now, but if things get wacky again, I think that Teg would be the first thing I would ask about it. I have tried Trileptal, (twice), and I can't tolerate it, but something tells me that the two meds are just as different as they are alike..
Posted by MM on February 23, 2005, at 17:24:19
In reply to Unable to relate to family members?, posted by alienatari on February 22, 2005, at 4:03:07
I can definitely relate to unsupportive parents/family. I think it does have something to do with passed on dysfunction from one generation to another, at least in my family, whether caused by mental illness or causing it. I feel as though my mom hates me much of the time for having this...which she doesn't believe I have and so on. I really think having very little to no support and a lot of negativity from someone so powerful in my life is a big hurdle to me getting healthy, and I've sort of come to believe that's the way she wants it. Looking at why someone who is supposed to love you acts this way is a scary prospect. ANYWAY....just saying I can really relate, and apparently a lot of people can, which is kind of good to hear in a sad way, but it feels better knowing I'm not the only one (sorry).
Have you tried combination therapy? I'm sure you have, but you don't say what you are on, or what specifically you have tried. It's possible Trileptal helps with my depression some, but without an antidepressant, I think it would make it worse for me. I think it helps with anxiety mostly. Have you tried Lithium? That supposedly has antidepressant effects. Lamictal is the only one that really comes to mind with really proven AD effects though. Is your Pdoc too scared of the rash? (mine is) What AD's have you tried?
MM
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