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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SuzieWong on November 22, 2004, at 18:09:08
I'm having a really bad day today...I feel so depressed its making me feel weak and yet I have to carry on and know thats the best thing too.
I have the old stomach churning, dropping kind of depression and I'm sort of scared that the Prozac is pooping out.
However, I've been using a light box for the last few weeks and I haven't used it for about 3 days so maybe it really does work and this is what i'd be like if I wasn't using it. Its effect seemed to be quite difficult to work out but maybe it really was working.
I take a really low dose, 3ml, of Prozac and 5mg of Buspar which has been almost fine so long as I keep myself busy and active. Now that the winter is creeping in more and more perhaps I should increase the dose.
But, I'm scared about how long i've been taking these medications for...about 8 years. I know that when I tried to come off Citalopram last year it took me 9 months and I felt like my world was ending when in fact I had only taken it for anxiety. I'm now left with this crippling depression but not so much anxiety .
As you can probably tell I'm really confused because I never thought I was depressed before and now its horrendous without taking something. I walk 2 miles a day and try to play tennis twice a week. I try to keep busy with work but I'm left with a feeling of "whats everything about". Is that depression and would I stop feeling like that if I took more medication. I can't possibly do anymore for myself with the exercise.
Posted by libbyann on November 22, 2004, at 18:15:04
In reply to I really don't know what to do, posted by SuzieWong on November 22, 2004, at 18:09:08
Hang in there!! Talk to your doc about that. Do you journal? I try to (but am not super faithful) and it seems to help when I write - a lot more seems to come out than if I were just to talk to someone.
What's a Light Box? I've heard of them here, but don't know what they are.
Hang in there!
libbyann
Posted by gardenergirl on November 22, 2004, at 18:19:51
In reply to I really don't know what to do, posted by SuzieWong on November 22, 2004, at 18:09:08
I'm sorry things are rough right now. I use a light box, too. I noticed that if I missed a couple of days, then I felt more depressed, too. What I like about the light therapy is that it's non-invasive, and you can use it every day if you make it a habit. (I break down on weekends, because I can't bear waking up at 6:00 a.m. to use it for half an hour when all I want to do is sleep in.) But I noticed it really does help me.
You might also consider psychotherapy, if you haven't already. There are lots of studies that show therapy plus medication is a really effective way to combat depression. Also, it may be that you've got "stuff" to get out that has been there a long time. I know I have been depressed for years, and I'm stunned by the power of the emotions locked inside me. It's helping to get at them.
I do hope you feel better.
gg
Posted by SuzieWong on November 23, 2004, at 2:56:43
In reply to Re: I really don't know what to do » SuzieWong, posted by gardenergirl on November 22, 2004, at 18:19:51
Thanks for your messages of support.
On the therapy issues, I feel I've talked myself out. I know what the deep emotions are but even though I know them it doesn't make me feel any better. I always feel abandoned and have really low self esteem although if you were on the outside of me you wouldn't think so atall.
My sister was adopted when I was 10 years old and I think that was the start of it. Not that my parents were bad about it but I think I felt like I wasn't important anymore. I never felt like I fit in anywhere.
I was probably actually depressed for a long time before I realised it when I look back. I have been married for 25 years and have three beautiful daughters but I now feel like my life has lost its purpose.
Eight years ago I had a brief affair with a friends husband because my esteem was obviously so low to do that. I have never got over it. I then had a bad car accident and my parents abandoned me because I had a bad reaction to the drugs and the trauma. I started acting really awfully but I didn't know what I was doing (by awful I mean that I was totally emotionally distressed) and when I tried to talk and get it all out no-one wanted to know. They abandoned me for over a year including my sister and my friends abandoned me because of the affair.
It has taken me until now to even begin to build up some more friendships, I just don't trust anyone anymore I don't think.
I always think something awful is going to happen when I go out. It actually developed into agoraphobia and thats why I have to take the small dose of Prozac to help me get out. I used to work as a very successful estate agent and now I can't even begin to think about work.
I'm getting older and I feel that if I haven't found my way in life now I never will. I have just developed into the biggest loser in life and while I don't want to appear a victim, I can't seem to drag myself out of it some days.
By the way I have a really supportive husband and my parents are fine now but I actually think they are lucky I would even want anything to do with them after they abandoned me at a time when someone needs their mum so badly.
Sorry if I've gone on here but I'm sitting here crying again knowing that I will never get over all of this. I can't stand the winter and I've moved house and can't stand the house now either. I've never been happy here.
Posted by crazychickuk on November 23, 2004, at 19:03:04
In reply to Re: I really don't know what to do, posted by SuzieWong on November 23, 2004, at 2:56:43
Hello, sorry to hear about all your problems..
I good chat with a therapist will really help you, and the correct medication also will help you.
sorry i cant offer any more
Remember this u have freinds here 24/7 ..
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