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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by RWF on August 13, 2004, at 18:14:50
Please somebody...anybody...help me:
I am 26 years old, Married with two children. Lately I have been having serious thoughts of hurting myself in order to make the anxiousness and pain go away. I am living in a constant fright for no reason whatsoever.
I start to feel like time is flying and not slowing down enough for me to enjoy it. What am I to do?
I have scary thoughts of hurting others even though I know that I am not capable of hurting a fly. The harder I try to suppress the images...the more they hover over my mind.
I have been on Effexor XR but it never helped. I am addicted to Ativan, no thanks to my P-Doc, and now he wants me to try Seroquel to "ease the anxiety!"
Will anything work? I am too scared to try the Seroquel because of how I felt with Remeron...Sedated, agitated, and depressed.
Why do they prescribe these dangerous drugs if none of them help?
I just want to run and hide and never come out of my shell anymore...I am scared to death to go to work, go outside, or go to a friends. I am avoiding public places and situations. I have no where to turn.
I cannot be hospitalized. I cannot let everyone know that I am a neurotic freak instead of a cool, calm, and collected guy. This should never of happened to me.
I see no light at the end of this tunnel and am scared to death to do anything that "might" help me treat this problem.
I am afraid that the Seroquel will make me hallucinate or just outright sedate me to the point that I will not know who I am or what I am doing.
I just can't do this anymore.
I know that all of you who use this message board are here for a reason, and if any of you have been helped by these medications...please help me.
I just want to be able to read to my son, and enjoy life, but I can't. And I don't know why.
Why am I depressed? Why am I the one to burden this annoyance and overbearing beast?
I am constantly feeling guilty...I am constantly feeling and thinking of this terror that has taken over my thought process and way of life.
My wife will sooner leave me if I have to be hospitalized or lose my job. I will lose the respect of my colleagues as well as my employees and will forever be dubbed "crazy" if they ever find out.
Somebody help...what can I do?
Posted by BRC on August 13, 2004, at 18:57:12
In reply to SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!, posted by RWF on August 13, 2004, at 18:14:50
I feel your pain my friend. I am 28 year old male and have the almost the same problem. You can read my post that is located a couple of post above yours titled "I need help or advice" and read my story.
Sound to me like your have serious anxiety issues like me. Have any of your doctors told you that you have OCD thoughts? Have they considered you might be Bi-polar.
I was healthy and very outgoing 24 year old when mine hit me. I was a honors student and graduated from a major university, but now my brain and emotions are all out of wack. I always thought I had a good head on my shoulders. But now like you I cannot leave my house.
People see that you look normal and appear normal but do not know the pain you are going through. They do not know that you are scared out of your mind for no reason and can't get a grip no matter how hard you try. And you are having ungodly thoughts.
I broke down and went in treatment at a psyche hospital. It was the worst day of my life. I thought it would really be the answer to my problems. But it wasn't. I tried three more times. And I still suffer symptoms.
I have tried Seroquel a long time ago during one of my hospitilizations. When I found out it was an anit-psychotic I would not take it no more.
Look if you are still having problems please feel free to e-mail me at cooley19761@netzero.com and maybe I can help you out a little. Because I have been through the ringer with this crap. I have reasearched alot of the medication and I know about hospitilization. Wish you the best and hope this helps.
Posted by robz on August 13, 2004, at 19:04:45
Everything is going to be ok....Look I was feeling very much like you were. I had the craziest thoughts about hurting myself I still do sometimes. This is all in your head and a lot of it is how you think to yourself. I know this is easier said than done but you really need to truly love yourself and you be the one you run too. It is just anxiety. You know that you are not going to hurt yourslef ore anyone else. You just think this way because you have such an active creative mind, it is just going constantly, thoughts are constantly running through your mind. You are the one who can have good thoughts or bad thoughts. Stop being so afraid or YOURSELF. You will be ok and you can make yourself better by just having positive thoughts. I know this sounds hard to do but just try it sometime. When you have a weird or scary thought just kind of laugh to yourself...
This is what I do. Say I have a thougth like..."I am losing my mind, then I am going end up in a hospital and everyone will think I am crazy." Then I will try and say this self back to myself after I have this crazy thought..."haha, ok first of all My mind is very creative and thats why this thought has become so extravagent and weird, This is really not going to happen to me. I am not going to lose my mind, I just have anxiety and that is why this scares me. I am a very intelligent and wondeful person." I know this sounds hard to do but just TRY it.
Look... I have learned alot about this disorder and how your thoughts affect you physical and emotional state. Have you ever hear of Lucina Bassets "Attacking anxiety and depression program"???? This is an amazing program and you should really do some research into it. It is 15 cassets you listen to and a bunch of coaching videos on how to overcome these awful thoughts and fears.
I am also on medication, so dont feel alone. but the medication is not the only thing that is going to cure you...and YOU WILL BE CURED...Keep telling yourself that!!!
Good luck and write back if you have anything you want to talk about!
Robyn
Posted by robz on August 13, 2004, at 19:49:49
In reply to SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!, posted by RWF on August 13, 2004, at 18:14:50
Hey...I sent you a long post...It is titled "You are going to be ok" For some reason it didnt go under your post...Please read it I think it may help...
robyn> Please somebody...anybody...help me:
>
> I am 26 years old, Married with two children. Lately I have been having serious thoughts of hurting myself in order to make the anxiousness and pain go away. I am living in a constant fright for no reason whatsoever.
>
> I start to feel like time is flying and not slowing down enough for me to enjoy it. What am I to do?
>
> I have scary thoughts of hurting others even though I know that I am not capable of hurting a fly. The harder I try to suppress the images...the more they hover over my mind.
>
> I have been on Effexor XR but it never helped. I am addicted to Ativan, no thanks to my P-Doc, and now he wants me to try Seroquel to "ease the anxiety!"
>
> Will anything work? I am too scared to try the Seroquel because of how I felt with Remeron...Sedated, agitated, and depressed.
>
> Why do they prescribe these dangerous drugs if none of them help?
>
> I just want to run and hide and never come out of my shell anymore...I am scared to death to go to work, go outside, or go to a friends. I am avoiding public places and situations. I have no where to turn.
>
> I cannot be hospitalized. I cannot let everyone know that I am a neurotic freak instead of a cool, calm, and collected guy. This should never of happened to me.
>
> I see no light at the end of this tunnel and am scared to death to do anything that "might" help me treat this problem.
>
> I am afraid that the Seroquel will make me hallucinate or just outright sedate me to the point that I will not know who I am or what I am doing.
>
> I just can't do this anymore.
>
> I know that all of you who use this message board are here for a reason, and if any of you have been helped by these medications...please help me.
>
> I just want to be able to read to my son, and enjoy life, but I can't. And I don't know why.
>
> Why am I depressed? Why am I the one to burden this annoyance and overbearing beast?
>
> I am constantly feeling guilty...I am constantly feeling and thinking of this terror that has taken over my thought process and way of life.
>
> My wife will sooner leave me if I have to be hospitalized or lose my job. I will lose the respect of my colleagues as well as my employees and will forever be dubbed "crazy" if they ever find out.
>
> Somebody help...what can I do?
>
> RWF
> Fulp96@yahoo.com
Posted by sooshi on August 13, 2004, at 21:22:06
In reply to SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!, posted by RWF on August 13, 2004, at 18:14:50
Hi RWC,
Please see my response to BRC under *I really need some Help or Advice?>>BRC Sooshi 8/13/04*
It might offer some help.
Sooshi
Posted by verne on August 13, 2004, at 21:41:21
In reply to SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!, posted by RWF on August 13, 2004, at 18:14:50
I was hooked on ativan a couple times. I detoxed in a hospital once and the other time, the doctor replaced it with an equivalent dose of librium which is also a benzo but much longer-acting. Then over a period of months we got the dose down to something manageable.
Ativan is so short acting it can cause real swings. After six hours I would break into a sweat and need another dose. It's great on an as-needed basis but for a steady diet it can backfire.
I'm a real drug-addict at heart and have abused and loved benzos with the best of them but I wouldn't go near ativan again. In fact, most of the repeat customers at the hospital with benzo-dependency were using ativan.
Tapering down (over months) with something longer-acting is just a thought and could ease some of your suffering.
Posted by mcp on August 13, 2004, at 22:24:32
In reply to Re: SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!, posted by verne on August 13, 2004, at 21:41:21
When you switched from Ativan to Librium did you just make a switch over or did you go down on Ativan while you went up on Librium? Also, when finally off all of the benzos did you replace it with something "nonaddictive"?
The reason I ask is that I detoxed off of Ativan and it was the worst nightmare of my life. They put me on all sorts of the supposed nonaddictive drugs and they have driven me to the brink of insanity. I am finally off of them, but I am still withdrawing. I am back on the Ativan and I am interested in going off eventually and I was curious how you did it. If I go off again I just can't replace it with some sort of antidepressant. They tried them on me and I hated them. Appreciate your thoughts.
> I was hooked on ativan a couple times. I detoxed in a hospital once and the other time, the doctor replaced it with an equivalent dose of librium which is also a benzo but much longer-acting. Then over a period of months we got the dose down to something manageable.
>
> Ativan is so short acting it can cause real swings. After six hours I would break into a sweat and need another dose. It's great on an as-needed basis but for a steady diet it can backfire.
>
> I'm a real drug-addict at heart and have abused and loved benzos with the best of them but I wouldn't go near ativan again. In fact, most of the repeat customers at the hospital with benzo-dependency were using ativan.
>
> Tapering down (over months) with something longer-acting is just a thought and could ease some of your suffering.
Posted by mcp on August 13, 2004, at 22:25:49
In reply to Ativan AbuseRWF, posted by mcp on August 13, 2004, at 22:24:32
I meant this post for you
> When you switched from Ativan to Librium did you just make a switch over or did you go down on Ativan while you went up on Librium? Also, when finally off all of the benzos did you replace it with something "nonaddictive"?
>
> The reason I ask is that I detoxed off of Ativan and it was the worst nightmare of my life. They put me on all sorts of the supposed nonaddictive drugs and they have driven me to the brink of insanity. I am finally off of them, but I am still withdrawing. I am back on the Ativan and I am interested in going off eventually and I was curious how you did it. If I go off again I just can't replace it with some sort of antidepressant. They tried them on me and I hated them. Appreciate your thoughts.
>
> > I was hooked on ativan a couple times. I detoxed in a hospital once and the other time, the doctor replaced it with an equivalent dose of librium which is also a benzo but much longer-acting. Then over a period of months we got the dose down to something manageable.
> >
> > Ativan is so short acting it can cause real swings. After six hours I would break into a sweat and need another dose. It's great on an as-needed basis but for a steady diet it can backfire.
> >
> > I'm a real drug-addict at heart and have abused and loved benzos with the best of them but I wouldn't go near ativan again. In fact, most of the repeat customers at the hospital with benzo-dependency were using ativan.
> >
> > Tapering down (over months) with something longer-acting is just a thought and could ease some of your suffering.
>
>
Posted by verne on August 14, 2004, at 0:47:04
In reply to Verne, posted by mcp on August 13, 2004, at 22:25:49
I made a straight switch from ativan to librium without a hitch. I feared for the worst but the dose was equivalent so it was a smooth transition.
I felt better on the longer-acting librium. There may be even longer-acting benzos that would work as well or better. The key was getting off the short-acting ativan roller-coaster.
That said, it still took me almost a year to get completely off librium. About every 3 months we lowered the dose, until finally I was taking the smallest dose (5mgs or 10mgs) once a day. Even then the first week without anything was a bit rough but I've been benzo-free ever since (8 years)
I've tried lots of alternatives like neurotin, zyprexa, valporic acid, tegretol, and a wide assortment of the non-addictive "approved" drugs and felt like crap. Neurotin may not be addictive but it wasn't easy stopping that - I felt like crap on it and even worse the first week getting off it.
Finally, a couple weeks ago I started inderal, remembering that I had taken it for anxiety 12 years ago while hospitalized. At first I took only 10mgs a day. I'm now taking inderal LA (long-acting) 60 mgs a day and feel as good or better than I ever did on benzos.
I'm relaxed yet still lucid. And the "side effects" are all good. Normal digestion, increased sex drive, and lower blood pressure.
Some people, however, have trouble with inderal which has possible side effects due to lowering the blood pressure and heart rate. If I'm a feeling a little too relaxed I take some green tea extract and drink some coffee.
I find the long-acting inderal much better than the regular inderal. It's a whole different feeling. It's like being covered with a kind of cooling, calming blanket. Yet it's nothing like the heavy tranquilizing anti-psychotics or anti-depressants where it's difficult to even think straight. I haven't felt this kind of calm lucidity for ages (maybe it's tapping into some old acid residue)
When I detoxed off ativan in the hospital, they simply tapered me down to nothing in 3 weeks. A week after I was discharged I refilled the prescription and started all over again. Actually it was an MD that recommended the librium replacement and was willing to take it slow. The psychdocs wanted to hospitalize me again.
Posted by thinkfast on August 14, 2004, at 3:31:49
In reply to Re: Verne, posted by verne on August 14, 2004, at 0:47:04
i'd say give the seroquel a try...i used to be on remeron and now have switched to seroquel...it's completely different from the remeron...not so foggy
Posted by mcp on August 14, 2004, at 3:32:36
In reply to Re: Verne, posted by verne on August 14, 2004, at 0:47:04
So when you were finally clear off all the benzos, how was the anxiety? Is that when you tried all the nonaddictive alternatives? I still get a kick out of that term given the hellish time I have had coming off those. Personally, I will have to come up with something besides meds. Therapy and natural alternatives mainly because I am never going back on these "nonaddictive" meds. Man, they make me feel like crap. I was 7 months without Ativan, but I thought I was losing my mind on all the other crap. Thanks for all your input. It has been very interesting and helpful.
> I made a straight switch from ativan to librium without a hitch. I feared for the worst but the dose was equivalent so it was a smooth transition.
>
> I felt better on the longer-acting librium. There may be even longer-acting benzos that would work as well or better. The key was getting off the short-acting ativan roller-coaster.
>
> That said, it still took me almost a year to get completely off librium. About every 3 months we lowered the dose, until finally I was taking the smallest dose (5mgs or 10mgs) once a day. Even then the first week without anything was a bit rough but I've been benzo-free ever since (8 years)
>
> I've tried lots of alternatives like neurotin, zyprexa, valporic acid, tegretol, and a wide assortment of the non-addictive "approved" drugs and felt like crap. Neurotin may not be addictive but it wasn't easy stopping that - I felt like crap on it and even worse the first week getting off it.
>
> Finally, a couple weeks ago I started inderal, remembering that I had taken it for anxiety 12 years ago while hospitalized. At first I took only 10mgs a day. I'm now taking inderal LA (long-acting) 60 mgs a day and feel as good or better than I ever did on benzos.
>
> I'm relaxed yet still lucid. And the "side effects" are all good. Normal digestion, increased sex drive, and lower blood pressure.
>
> Some people, however, have trouble with inderal which has possible side effects due to lowering the blood pressure and heart rate. If I'm a feeling a little too relaxed I take some green tea extract and drink some coffee.
>
> I find the long-acting inderal much better than the regular inderal. It's a whole different feeling. It's like being covered with a kind of cooling, calming blanket. Yet it's nothing like the heavy tranquilizing anti-psychotics or anti-depressants where it's difficult to even think straight. I haven't felt this kind of calm lucidity for ages (maybe it's tapping into some old acid residue)
>
> When I detoxed off ativan in the hospital, they simply tapered me down to nothing in 3 weeks. A week after I was discharged I refilled the prescription and started all over again. Actually it was an MD that recommended the librium replacement and was willing to take it slow. The psychdocs wanted to hospitalize me again.
>
>
Posted by mcp on August 14, 2004, at 3:34:46
In reply to Re: Verne, posted by thinkfast on August 14, 2004, at 3:31:49
I tried it and zyprexa. Hated both. Felt like a zombie. Not to mention how sick I got coming off the Zyprexa
> i'd say give the seroquel a try...i used to be on remeron and now have switched to seroquel...it's completely different from the remeron...not so foggy
Posted by verne on August 14, 2004, at 7:37:21
In reply to Re: Verne, posted by mcp on August 14, 2004, at 3:32:36
Mcp,
After I finally got off benzos, I bounced back and forth between health supplements and the non-addictive meds with very little success. I actually pleaded for a return to benzo treatment but couldn't find a doctor or psychdoc willing to prescribe them. (I live in a conservative part of the midwest that doesn't believe in "controlled substances")
Just to name a tiny fraction of the herbs and supplements I took: Suma Root, rhodiola, bach remedies, schizandra, curcuma, astragalus, calamus, passion flower, theanine, gaba, taurine, relora, valerian... Finding little or no relief I abused alcohol. (I guess it's perfectly acceptable for me to drink myself to death than risk the hazards of benzo-dependency)
When I wasn't experimenting with herbs, I'd go back to the doc to try another drug. A small dose of zyprexa put me on my back for 24 hours - I couldn't get out of bed let alone function. When the doc ran out of alternatives he dreamed up drugs that might remotely deal with anxiety. The last laugh was prochlorperazine which is prescribed for nausea but might help with anxiety. It didn't help either.
After years of needless suffering, spending, and self-destructive behavior I recently started inderal which actually does work. I remember taking it briefly while in the hospital 12 years ago and it worked then too. I had forgotten about it since it's "approved" use is for high blood pressure. The higher dosed, time-released, long-acting version is best for me.
Unlike most drugs with the anti-cholergeric effect, inderal is just the opposite. The anti-cholergeric (sp) effect equals feeling crappier than a hangover for me. Inderal, instead, works on the para-sympathetic nervous system and calms at a deep level in a no-nonsense way like a benzo. It seems though some people don't tolerate it well due to the heart-rate lowering effect. It's made-to-order for me though.
I agree with you on the "non-addictive" meds. I'd rather eat roots and leaves than take stuff like neurotin again. It masquerades as a anti-anxiety med but finally leaves you feeling more agitated. Very insidious. Within 2 weeks my whole day revolved around: "what's the neurotin doing to me now?" Quitting wasn't easy and it was some sort of "withdrawal". My body objected when I stopped and I felt like crap for days.
I went through much the same on all the other politically-correct benzo replacements.
Posted by Emme on August 16, 2004, at 15:44:44
In reply to SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!, posted by RWF on August 13, 2004, at 18:14:50
I'm sorry you're going through this. Your agitation and anxiety sound absolutely horrendous. Have you and your pdoc discussed the possibility that you are bipolar and in a mixed state? It might worth at least talking about it with your pdoc to see if there are any other possible bipolar indications.
Consider trying the Seroquel. It might work very well for calming your agitation. It won't feel the same as Remeron. If you are concerned about being oversedated, try a very small dose to start and inch it up until you find a dose that's useful. Therapeutic doses vary a lot from person to person and your doctor's recommended dose may be too high or too low for you.
> Please somebody...anybody...help me:
>
> I am 26 years old, Married with two children. Lately I have been having serious thoughts of hurting myself in order to make the anxiousness and pain go away. I am living in a constant fright for no reason whatsoever.
>
> I start to feel like time is flying and not slowing down enough for me to enjoy it. What am I to do?
>
> I have scary thoughts of hurting others even though I know that I am not capable of hurting a fly. The harder I try to suppress the images...the more they hover over my mind.
>
> I have been on Effexor XR but it never helped. I am addicted to Ativan, no thanks to my P-Doc, and now he wants me to try Seroquel to "ease the anxiety!"
>
> Will anything work? I am too scared to try the Seroquel because of how I felt with Remeron...Sedated, agitated, and depressed.
>
> Why do they prescribe these dangerous drugs if none of them help?
>
> I just want to run and hide and never come out of my shell anymore...I am scared to death to go to work, go outside, or go to a friends. I am avoiding public places and situations. I have no where to turn.
>
> I cannot be hospitalized. I cannot let everyone know that I am a neurotic freak instead of a cool, calm, and collected guy. This should never of happened to me.
>
> I see no light at the end of this tunnel and am scared to death to do anything that "might" help me treat this problem.
>
> I am afraid that the Seroquel will make me hallucinate or just outright sedate me to the point that I will not know who I am or what I am doing.
>
> I just can't do this anymore.
>
> I know that all of you who use this message board are here for a reason, and if any of you have been helped by these medications...please help me.
>
> I just want to be able to read to my son, and enjoy life, but I can't. And I don't know why.
>
> Why am I depressed? Why am I the one to burden this annoyance and overbearing beast?
>
> I am constantly feeling guilty...I am constantly feeling and thinking of this terror that has taken over my thought process and way of life.
>
> My wife will sooner leave me if I have to be hospitalized or lose my job. I will lose the respect of my colleagues as well as my employees and will forever be dubbed "crazy" if they ever find out.
>
> Somebody help...what can I do?
>
> RWF
> Fulp96@yahoo.com
This is the end of the thread.
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