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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 5:13:23
Dear all,
I flare up just now due to my OCD. This is what happened. After rounds of walking at my workplace, I finally decided to put my pill box in my left pocket of my pants. But then, I absorbed another round of OC attack.
I began to ruminate on whether it is possible to put the pill box in the right pocket of another pants!
This is DRIVING ME INSANE!
It's been about 2-3 weeks since I last switched from australian zactin (prozac) to canada apo-tex (prozac as well). Is it due to the difference between the 2?
I really feel like changing to another SSRI.
Pls help.
Posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 7:53:01
In reply to I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL!, posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 5:13:23
I don't know about the prozac, but I do know how you feel. Sounds like me when I'm shopping and I start to wonder if I should buy "x". I start a whole thought circus of how much is it, how much do I have, do we need it (we do), is it a good idea, what will my husband say, should I buy it. Sometimes I have to pack up and come home!
It's good to talk about it though, if I would describe my specific obsessions and compulsions, sometimes that would decrease the intensity of the next one. Not so with the shopping though!
I also found a mantra helpful. Sometimes I say "It's not me, it's the OCD" a few times. And asking myself "Does it really matter?". Sometimes yes, sometimes know.
Keep talking about it!
Fenny
Posted by cab on October 30, 2002, at 10:44:53
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » freedom2001, posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 7:53:01
I think the recent flare-up could easily be because of switching to a different form of fluoxetine. I think you need to see a pdoc and probably either adjust your dose or, as you say, switch to a different SSRI (have you tried Luvox?). That's the first thing to take care of.
In the meantime, as the person who posted the last message said, try to remember that your obsessions and ruminations are symptoms of the disease, and, horrible as they feel, they will come and go. I don't have OCD except a little bit as part of my depression, but I do know how it feels to have horrible feelings and thoughts you can't control. While you're waiting for the medication to be sorted out, when you feel your symptoms spiraling out of control try to talk to yourself as calmly as you can, and "accept" the thoughts and feelings as part of the disease (though, of course, you don't have to like them!). You might read this post and think, "I can't "accept" them! They're awful!" But what I mean is, try not to make it worse by thinking "Oh my God! I'm crazy! I'm having these horrible, crazy thoughts! They'll never go away! Etc." Instead, try to maintain a rational part of yourself that says things to yourself like, "O.K., I'm having these thoughts that are part of the OCD I'm struggling with. OK, I'm wondering whether it's possible to put my pill box in the right pocket of my other pants. That's OK, it's a weird, bad feeling but it won't last forever," etc. as much as you can.
Hope this helps.
Posted by meow mary on October 30, 2002, at 11:57:50
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL!, posted by cab on October 30, 2002, at 10:44:53
I understand this so much. I was trying to describe to someone (one of the two people I can tell) how it feels to have one song refrain going through your head 24 hours a day for two weeks. Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall. It is hell. Hopefully we will find the right medications.
Posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 19:22:06
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » freedom2001, posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 7:53:01
> I don't know about the prozac, but I do know how you feel. Sounds like me when I'm shopping and I start to wonder if I should buy "x". I start a whole thought circus of how much is it, how much do I have, do we need it (we do), is it a good idea, what will my husband say, should I buy it. Sometimes I have to pack up and come home!
OCD is indeed a devastating disease. It has torn apart my youth and adult life so many times. I got it when I was 14. It was only after 2 months of intense prayer that God healed me. At that time, I took no medication, no CBT and no natural therapy whatsoever at all. Only prayer. I'm convinced that there is a living God.
>
> It's good to talk about it though, if I would describe my specific obsessions and compulsions, sometimes that would decrease the intensity of the next one. Not so with the shopping though!Everyone seems to be 'crazy' here but we are still sane people as we know these thoughts are absolutely out of the normal spectrum! This is totally bizarre. Could it be due to the influence of some supernatural evil forces inside our mind? We don't know yet. Could it be that the supernatural force upset our serontonin system as well? I mean, by treating our serontonin system, we may get it balanced, but still not rid ourselves of some evil.
>
> I also found a mantra helpful. Sometimes I say "It's not me, it's the OCD" a few times. And asking myself "Does it really matter?". Sometimes yes, sometimes know.Did you get this verse from a book called "Brain lock?" Inside the book there's this verse as well.
>
> Keep talking about it!Thanks fenny!!
So altogether what kind of medication are you on now? How many percent have you recovered?
How's your relationship with your husband, family etc.>
> Fenny
Posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 19:36:50
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL!, posted by cab on October 30, 2002, at 10:44:53
> I think the recent flare-up could easily be because of switching to a different form of fluoxetine. I think you need to see a pdoc and probably either adjust your dose or, as you say, switch to a different SSRI (have you tried Luvox?).
Coming to Luvox. The last time I tried was when I combined it with prozac, the symptoms worsen rapidly. I've tried effexor with prozac but to no avail. Many years ago, I tried anafranil of up to 200mg but in vain as well.
I READ IN AN ARTICLE THAT THOSE WHO TRIED ANAFRANIL AND FAILED, AND THEN TRIED FLUXOTINE HAD ONLY PARTIAL RESPONSE TO FLUOXETINE. I THINK I READ THIS ARTICLE SOMEWHERE, CAN'T REMEMBER THE SOURCE!
The current canadian prozac (Apo-fluoxetine) comes from one of the 'leading' hospitals in my country. My private doc doesn't trust their prozac. He would rather take the hungarian (deprexin) or australian prozac (zactin), or even a prozac made in south korea. Now I'm beginning to think whether he's correct or not!
MY FEAR IS THAT IF I SWITCH PROZAC TO A NEW SSRI, AND NEXT TIME IF I SWITCH BACK TO PROZAC, I MAY NOT RESPOND TO PROZAC ANYMORE, THEREBY HAVING ONE LESS OPTION.
SHOULD I SWITCH BACK TO AUSTRALIAN OR SOUTH KOREAN PROZAC INSTEAD OF TAKING CANADIAN PROZAC? I'M REALLY SCARED!
> That's the first thing to take care of.
> In the meantime, as the person who posted the last message said, try to remember that your obsessions and ruminations are symptoms of the disease, and, horrible as they feel, they will come and go. I don't have OCD except a little bit as part of my depression, but I do know how it feels to have horrible feelings and thoughts you can't control. While you're waiting for the medication to be sorted out, when you feel your symptoms spiraling out of control try to talk to yourself as calmly as you can, and "accept" the thoughts and feelings as part of the disease (though, of course, you don't have to like them!). You might read this post and think, "I can't "accept" them! They're awful!" But what I mean is, try not to make it worse by thinking "Oh my God! I'm crazy! I'm having these horrible, crazy thoughts! They'll never go away! Etc." Instead, try to maintain a rational part of yourself that says things to yourself like, "O.K., I'm having these thoughts that are part of the OCD I'm struggling with. OK, I'm wondering whether it's possible to put my pill box in the right pocket of my other pants. That's OK, it's a weird, bad feeling but it won't last forever," etc. as much as you can.Thanks for the encouraging "it won't last forever". I appreciate it.
> Hope this helps.
>
Posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 19:47:27
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL!, posted by meow mary on October 30, 2002, at 11:57:50
> I understand this so much. I was trying to describe to someone (one of the two people I can tell) how it feels to have one song refrain going through your head 24 hours a day for two weeks. Sometimes I feel like banging my head against a wall. It is hell. Hopefully we will find the right medications.
I feel a bit better in the sense that at least I'm not alone in this terrible disease....
I can only submit myself fully to the almighty God, healer of our sicknesses....
I think we should also pray to God that a new medication with much better effects and response rate than the SSRIs will come out soon. Lexapro is no 'new' SSRI....just a marketing gimmick I think. Coz it doesn't work in a new novel way, except for lesser side effects. What I care most is the response and effective rate, not lesser side effects.
Posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 20:08:09
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » Fenny3, posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 19:22:06
> OCD is indeed a devastating disease. It has torn apart my youth and adult life so many times. I got it when I was 14. It was only after 2 months of intense prayer that God healed me. At that time, I took no medication, no CBT and no natural therapy whatsoever at all. Only prayer. I'm convinced that there is a living God.
Oh it sucks rocks, I'm with you there. The first obsession I remember is around puberty (something there maybe? Ack! Hormones!), it was an anxious feeling, the compulsion became drinking a glass of water. At least it was healthy. Many of my symptoms are cleanliness or routine oriented. How insidious!
I'm glad you found some relief with God. Prayer is also meditation, is also behaviour therapy, is also positive reinforcement. I pray, in a sense, even though I am not a religious person.
I think I'm sane too. My doc said he would give me a certificate to prove it! Of course he was kidding, but it would be nice sometimes to have the documentation. I could mount it on my wall, or pull it out whenever I thought anyone was looking at me sideways.
I think it's harder being in the middle sometimes. Not loopy, where you wouldn't have a clue, and not completely "normal" either. I don't know about the supernatural evil though, I don't have any room in my head for anyone (or thing) else!
I usually take 75 mg EffexorXR daily, I'm off to try to conceive my 2nd child. I have the best time pregnant - I feel great, I'm so happy, and no symptoms at all! Again, I have to wonder...hormones?
The effexor does well for me mostly, along with the books and the self directed therapy that is. My husband is wonderful, very supportive. My parents are coming around too, getting over the stigma of my "disorder". I tell them I think it's genetic and glare at them...hee hee.
You sound like your doing well, the first thing is to talk it out. Drag it (the OCD), kicking and screaming in to the light, so to speak. There are more of us than there are "normal" people, I think. Judging from this board we are in good company too.
How's your family life? Also, did you enjoy the above novel? phew. sorry about that. I guess I'm chatty tonight.
Fenny
Posted by Ed O`Flaherty on October 31, 2002, at 3:08:52
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » freedom2001, posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 20:08:09
Perhaps you should consider something natural-omega-3 fish oil.Our brains are 20% omega-3 fatty acids because our ancestors lived in the sea. A dose of 5-10 g of omega-3 fish oil added to Prozac helps a lot of people after a few days.No prescription needed.It is the total of EPA plus DHA that matters,not the total weight of the capsules.
Posted by freedom2001 on October 31, 2002, at 20:52:35
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » freedom2001, posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 20:08:09
> > OCD is indeed a devastating disease. It has torn apart my youth and adult life so many times. I got it when I was 14. It was only after 2 months of intense prayer that God healed me. At that time, I took no medication, no CBT and no natural therapy whatsoever at all. Only prayer. I'm convinced that there is a living God.
>
> Oh it sucks rocks, I'm with you there. The first obsession I remember is around puberty (something there maybe? Ack! Hormones!), it was an anxious feeling, the compulsion became drinking a glass of water. At least it was healthy. Many of my symptoms are cleanliness or routine oriented. How insidious!So do you have obessions/compulsions sometimes or most of the times now? I'm so glad to hear that your husband and family are supportive and understanding. That's very important to people like us.
So are you a christian or a free thinker?
I just read from a testimonial that a muslim girl who's some sort of paralytic was healed by Jesus Christ after 3 years of praying and humbling herself before God and she's now a powerful witness for God. There's even a book about her. I got a more positive outlook and more hopes after reading this article. I believe that while the search for a better drug is still on, miracles from God do happen!
>
> I'm glad you found some relief with God. Prayer is also meditation, is also behaviour therapy, is also positive reinforcement. I pray, in a sense, even though I am not a religious person.
>
> I think I'm sane too. My doc said he would give me a certificate to prove it! Of course he was kidding, but it would be nice sometimes to have the documentation. I could mount it on my wall, or pull it out whenever I thought anyone was looking at me sideways.If he gives you a cert, pls ask him to send me one as well. :)
>
> I think it's harder being in the middle sometimes. Not loopy, where you wouldn't have a clue, and not completely "normal" either. I don't know about the supernatural evil though, I don't have any room in my head for anyone (or thing) else!I remembered that when I was young, I would keep seeing 3 demons in my dream dragging me through a wall. And I would wake up and run to the living room to bang the door. It could be some sort of demonic posession, I'm not sure. But the possibility is there.
>
> I usually take 75 mg EffexorXR daily, I'm off to try to conceive my 2nd child. I have the best time pregnant - I feel great, I'm so happy, and no symptoms at all! Again, I have to wonder...hormones?It is so enviable and nice to hear that you have no symptoms at all. So does it mean you have no more obsessions/compulsions or just a little and when they come, you can simply ignore them?
>
> The effexor does well for me mostly, along with the books and the self directed therapy that is. My husband is wonderful, very supportive. My parents are coming around too, getting over the stigma of my "disorder". I tell them I think it's genetic and glare at them...hee hee.Coming to genetic, do you worry about your baby having the defect gene? (God forbid!). Have you discussed this with your doc and secret officer (SO)?
>
> You sound like your doing well, the first thing is to talk it out. Drag it (the OCD), kicking and screaming in to the light, so to speak. There are more of us than there are "normal" people, I think. Judging from this board we are in good company too.I think since there are 'so many' people with this condition, research should be sped up significantly, not only in USA, but also in Singapore. I mean the drug companies should set up clinical trials in Singapore as well.....
>
> How's your family life? Also, did you enjoy the above novel? phew. sorry about that. I guess I'm chatty tonight.I'm struggling to earn enough money to get married to my significant other (SO)....You sound like a very fun person to chat with. Your husband is fortunate to have a chatty wife like you. :)
God bless.
>
> Fenny
Posted by freedom2001 on October 31, 2002, at 21:03:14
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL!, posted by Ed O`Flaherty on October 31, 2002, at 3:08:52
> Perhaps you should consider something natural-omega-3 fish oil.Our brains are 20% omega-3 fatty acids because our ancestors lived in the sea. A dose of 5-10 g of omega-3 fish oil added to Prozac helps a lot of people after a few days.No prescription needed.It is the total of EPA plus DHA that matters,not the total weight of the capsules.
My capsule contains 500 mg EPA and 310 DHA each. Is the RATIO correct?
Posted by Fenny3 on November 3, 2002, at 18:48:26
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » Fenny3, posted by freedom2001 on October 31, 2002, at 20:52:35
> So do you have obessions/compulsions sometimes or most of the times now? I'm so glad to hear that your husband and family are supportive and understanding. That's very important to people like us.
If I was to estimate a frequency/intensity, I'd guess that now I have one or two mild/moderate episodes a day. My symptoms are also mostly thought based, as opposed to action based. What are your symptoms like? Are you affected every day?
> So are you a christian or a free thinker?
I'm not a Christian in the literal sense, but I'm a good person. I like to think I'm a free thinker, but that's pretty subjective. I try, though.> If he gives you a cert, pls ask him to send me one as well. :)
> I remembered that when I was young, I would keep seeing 3 demons in my dream dragging me through a wall. And I would wake up and run to the living room to bang the door. It could be some sort of demonic posession, I'm not sure. But the possibility is there.That sounds terrifying! Did you get any input from your parents as to cause? Could this have been some anxiety/OCD?
> It is so enviable and nice to hear that you have no symptoms at all. So does it mean you have no more obsessions/compulsions or just a little and when they come, you can simply ignore them?When I'm pregnant I am symptomless. My SO has said he doesn't remember me ever being so happy, or laughing so much.
> Coming to genetic, do you worry about your baby having the defect gene? (God forbid!). Have you discussed this with your doc and secret officer (SO)?SO and I have discussed it briefly with our dr. SO has very mild panic stuff (so mild I'm not even going to call it a disorder), so we've talked at length about our daughter
> I'm struggling to earn enough money to get married to my significant other (SO)....You sound like a very fun person to chat with. Your husband is fortunate to have a chatty wife like you. :)
Thanks! I hope it happens for you soon. It's very nice to have someone to share your life with, and that accepts you as you are!
Fenny
Posted by freedom2001 on November 3, 2002, at 22:34:12
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » freedom2001, posted by Fenny3 on November 3, 2002, at 18:48:26
> > So do you have obessions/compulsions sometimes or most of the times now? I'm so glad to hear that your husband and family are supportive and understanding. That's very important to people like us.
>
> If I was to estimate a frequency/intensity, I'd guess that now I have one or two mild/moderate episodes a day. My symptoms are also mostly thought based, as opposed to action based. What are your symptoms like? Are you affected every day?Yes I'm affected every day and mostly each day I woke up it's a challenge. It's mainly thought based plus a series of compulsive action. All these can be terrifying and very frustrating at times. How I wish God will heal me right away.
>
> > So are you a christian or a free thinker?
> I'm not a Christian in the literal sense, but I'm a good person. I like to think I'm a free thinker, but that's pretty subjective. I try, though.
>
> > If he gives you a cert, pls ask him to send me one as well. :)
> > I remembered that when I was young, I would keep seeing 3 demons in my dream dragging me through a wall. And I would wake up and run to the living room to bang the door. It could be some sort of demonic posession, I'm not sure. But the possibility is there.
>
> That sounds terrifying! Did you get any input from your parents as to cause? Could this have been some anxiety/OCD?My parents are clueless as well. I personally believe that it is some sort of supernatural evil harassing me when I was young, not just some simple anxiety as I can clearly see the demons and what they're trying to do.
In fact, I can recall that they even chase me around on top of several drums.
>
> > It is so enviable and nice to hear that you have no symptoms at all. So does it mean you have no more obsessions/compulsions or just a little and when they come, you can simply ignore them?
>
> When I'm pregnant I am symptomless. My SO has said he doesn't remember me ever being so happy, or laughing so much.Happiness is a luxury that I wish to have every day as well.
>
> > Coming to genetic, do you worry about your baby having the defect gene? (God forbid!). Have you discussed this with your doc and secret officer (SO)?
>
> SO and I have discussed it briefly with our dr. SO has very mild panic stuff (so mild I'm not even going to call it a disorder), so we've talked at length about our daughterDid the doc say what is the percentage of the baby having OCD? 15%??
>
> > I'm struggling to earn enough money to get married to my significant other (SO)....You sound like a very fun person to chat with. Your husband is fortunate to have a chatty wife like you. :)
>
> Thanks! I hope it happens for you soon. It's very nice to have someone to share your life with, and that accepts you as you are!Indeed, our SO are the best gift we have.
>
> Fenny
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