Posted by Fenny3 on October 30, 2002, at 20:08:09
In reply to Re: I FEEL SO SUICIDAL! OCD IS HELL! » Fenny3, posted by freedom2001 on October 30, 2002, at 19:22:06
> OCD is indeed a devastating disease. It has torn apart my youth and adult life so many times. I got it when I was 14. It was only after 2 months of intense prayer that God healed me. At that time, I took no medication, no CBT and no natural therapy whatsoever at all. Only prayer. I'm convinced that there is a living God.
Oh it sucks rocks, I'm with you there. The first obsession I remember is around puberty (something there maybe? Ack! Hormones!), it was an anxious feeling, the compulsion became drinking a glass of water. At least it was healthy. Many of my symptoms are cleanliness or routine oriented. How insidious!
I'm glad you found some relief with God. Prayer is also meditation, is also behaviour therapy, is also positive reinforcement. I pray, in a sense, even though I am not a religious person.
I think I'm sane too. My doc said he would give me a certificate to prove it! Of course he was kidding, but it would be nice sometimes to have the documentation. I could mount it on my wall, or pull it out whenever I thought anyone was looking at me sideways.
I think it's harder being in the middle sometimes. Not loopy, where you wouldn't have a clue, and not completely "normal" either. I don't know about the supernatural evil though, I don't have any room in my head for anyone (or thing) else!
I usually take 75 mg EffexorXR daily, I'm off to try to conceive my 2nd child. I have the best time pregnant - I feel great, I'm so happy, and no symptoms at all! Again, I have to wonder...hormones?
The effexor does well for me mostly, along with the books and the self directed therapy that is. My husband is wonderful, very supportive. My parents are coming around too, getting over the stigma of my "disorder". I tell them I think it's genetic and glare at them...hee hee.
You sound like your doing well, the first thing is to talk it out. Drag it (the OCD), kicking and screaming in to the light, so to speak. There are more of us than there are "normal" people, I think. Judging from this board we are in good company too.
How's your family life? Also, did you enjoy the above novel? phew. sorry about that. I guess I'm chatty tonight.
Fenny
poster:Fenny3
thread:125774
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021025/msgs/125861.html