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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cynthia M on May 15, 2000, at 21:27:18
Thanks for the site, i have given my therapist a list of the books on the "read" site as well as the SAFE site. I couldn't find the one I wanted at the local bookstore ( Bodily Harm) so I ordered it from Amazon.com ( overnight delivery) Hopefully it will be here rapidly. Tomorrow is another day and maybe it won't be as painful ......time will tell, wish me well. Thanks for the support. I really do feel like a freak and it is hard when even the "professionals" don't know what you are talking about. I have to go for labs tomorrow and will have to wrap my arm , any ideas on excuses???? I was thinking something along the lines of rescuing a helpless cat from the ogre that is the neighbor's pit bull.... how does that sound? I worry that saying"oH , I cut myself" will give rise to suspicion and land me with yet another 5150..... Ok , have a good night, I will check back in tomorrow and we shall see if I have any success at control........ Thanks- Cyndy
Posted by bob on May 15, 2000, at 23:23:37
In reply to Thanks bob and Noa, posted by Cynthia M on May 15, 2000, at 21:27:18
> ... Tomorrow is another day and maybe it won't be as painful ......time will tell, wish me well.
Always! But it's best to make your own "luck", so start off by squelching that voice inside that shouts "FREAK!" at you, okay? To hell with what's "normal" -- all of us here have our problems, but we all also have our wonders. Focus on what's best about yourself -- you know there's a lot of it there.
As for the labs, don't tell them anything. If someone asks, go ahead and tell them that you cut yourself -- nothing more, nothing less. Don't make a big deal out of it. If they do, then tell them you're already under a doctor's care for the cuts, but thank you for your concern.
You don't have to wear them like a badge,
but you don't have to be ashamed of them either.be well, Cyndy
bob
Posted by Cynthia M on May 16, 2000, at 10:47:49
In reply to Re: Thanks bob and Noa, posted by bob on May 15, 2000, at 23:23:37
Thanks bob-the labs were ok, I just rolled up the sleeve on the other arm and no one noticed. I did end up cutting this morning . It is the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up. I didn't seem as angry yesterday, what does this mean? It seems like as long as my arm hurts then everything is right. When it stops hurting , as it often does over night, I get panicky and feel an exptreme need to cut. Funny , but It doesn't hurt when I do it, just after. I hope the book from Amozon gets here quickly. I need to have something to read so I can learn about this.I will keep you posted, ( I would bet a million that my carbatrol levels are significantly low, maybe my thyroid too) It is supposed to get to 80 degrees here this weekend I guess I need to get use to being hot... more later. Thanks again-Cyndy
Posted by Noa on May 16, 2000, at 13:14:15
In reply to Re: Thanks bob and Noa, posted by Cynthia M on May 16, 2000, at 10:47:49
Cynthia, could it be a need to have a sort of "white noise" going all the time, to distract you from a more excruciating sort of anxiety? I dont't cut, but I find I need "input" coming in all the time or I get anxious. Whether it's TV, or eating, or compulsive/impulsive scratching my skin and head, or compulsively playing stupid games on the computer.
Posted by Cynthia M on May 16, 2000, at 14:09:31
In reply to Re: Thanks bob and Noa, posted by Noa on May 16, 2000, at 13:14:15
Noa- this is very interesting. I hve found that I have to have the CD player on before I cut. I go to the stereo and turn on a CD and then get the scissors and cut, It is all very ritualistic. I have been having a hard time this morning because I was in a hurry to cut before my husband got out of the shower so I didn't wait and watch the blood , like I usually do. I hurried and covered it up, now I am feeling odd about it, like I didn;'t do it right . My husband knows I am cutting but it distresses him so that Idon't like him to know i have done it. I just took a shower and scrubbed the cut area on my arm until all of the scabbing had come off. My phychologist wants me in a "day-treatment" type of program. I am hesitant to commiting my time to being a professional "mental patient" I use to do fun things like sew and bake, I desparately want to lose weight so I should be walking , I just feel so disorganized. I guess the only "ordered" patern I have is cutting..... I should get the book "Bodily Harm" tomorrow from Amazon.com I hope I am not expecting too much, just a miracle in a book. I guess time will tell.........Cyndy
Posted by Noa on May 16, 2000, at 15:52:01
In reply to Noa, posted by Cynthia M on May 16, 2000, at 14:09:31
The book is a start. But I think you would benefit from a program of some sort, maybe like SAFE, because it is a complex problem.
Don't expect too much from yourself just from reading the book. You do seem to be demanding of yourself, like all those "shoulds" you just mentioned. Maybe think of it this way: the book is a way of feeding yourself, just try to take it in and savor it. Don't expect yourself to be able to somehow put the ideas into action and "cure" yourself. Just take it in, savor it, and from there think of accessing some resource for more help.
Posted by Cynthia M on May 16, 2000, at 16:43:33
In reply to Re: Noa--Cynthia, posted by Noa on May 16, 2000, at 15:52:01
> The book is a start. But I think you would benefit from a program of some sort, maybe like SAFE, because it is a complex problem.
>
> Don't expect too much from yourself just from reading the book. You do seem to be demanding of yourself, like all those "shoulds" you just mentioned. Maybe think of it this way: the book is a way of feeding yourself, just try to take it in and savor it. Don't expect yourself to be able to somehow put the ideas into action and "cure" yourself. Just take it in, savor it, and from there think of accessing some resource for more help.Thanks Noa- I guess I just keep thinking I can control this somehow if I can figure out what the trigger was that started it in the first place. I have been referred to a day treatment program but I am hesitant to participate. I may look into it. Thanks - Cyndy
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