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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Annie on December 30, 1999, at 17:55:49
Last night, Rocco, my best friend who was a cat died unexpectedly. He didn't know he was a cat and friends laughed because I talked to him as if he were a human. I can not help blaming my self because I saw no outward signs that he was so sick. I took him to the vet thinking they would laugh at me because he just seemed not to be himself. In 10 minutes after getting there he was dead. I alway told my friends and therapist that Rocco's friendship kept me alive through the worst of the depression and that when he went, I would go too. I thought I had at least 10 or 15 years left with him. I have 2 other cats that are cats and I am trying to find homes for them now. I think it should be easy because one is a lap cat that many old people would love and the other is a beautiful white angora type. I have stopped taking all my medicine and haven't decided what I am going to do about myself. I am not a "cat lady", I have many good people friends including my therapist who are "keeping watch" on me. They can't do this 24 hours a day though and I can't imagine living without Rocky. I probably would be dead already if I weren't on a medicine combination that was working but both have short half lives and in a few days they should be out of my system. I am not looking for any responses here. I just needed to share my story. I told my human best friend that I would honestly kill anyone who said "He was just a cat," and I meant it. I took the phone off the hook and I will not answer the door. Perhaps in a few days, I will come to terms with Rocco's death but I doubt it. I still have to see to his remains and I will do that tomorrow. Some of you will understand and some of you will think I am crazy, but if I can stop anyone from saying "He was just a cat" or trying to minimize the pain a person like me feels my comparing it to the pain a parent feels when they lose a child, I will not have shared this in vain. I was going to write this post anonymously because a few of you know me personally, but that seemed dishonest to the memory of Rocco.
Annie
Posted by JohnL on December 30, 1999, at 18:14:58
In reply to My best friend died, posted by Annie on December 30, 1999, at 17:55:49
My dog of 15 years is buried in a cemetary for pets. On her gravestone it reads "My Best Friend". I know. JohnL
Posted by JohnB on December 30, 1999, at 20:54:02
In reply to My best friend died, posted by Annie on December 30, 1999, at 17:55:49
If Rocco could speak, I think he'd want you to take good care of yourself, take your meds, and see your therapist a lot. He knows you did the best you could for him. (Cats often hide their illness - it was a good strategy when they lived in the wild.)
How about beginning your search soon for a kitten with a similar personality (animal shelter?). So many little kittens need someone to care for them.
I'm sure Rocco would like that.
Posted by juniper on December 31, 1999, at 2:28:16
In reply to My best friend died, posted by Annie on December 30, 1999, at 17:55:49
love and companionship have no need for qualification by species. my heart goes out to you. (as does ashes garcia's, my cat and friend, who in a familiar moment of haunting knowledge jumped upon my lap as i wrote this)
please care for yourself as you cared for rocco, with compassion and care (wouldn't he have wanted this?)
peace to you.
juniper
Posted by Noa on January 1, 2000, at 10:00:11
In reply to Re: My best friend died, posted by juniper on December 31, 1999, at 2:28:16
Annie,
Losing a loved one is traumatic.
I have a hard time believing Rocco's death was your fault. It sounds like his illness had only the sublest of signs, and certainly nothing that suggessted a serious illness. How could you have known, and even if you had, perhaps this was not something that could have been reversed.
I was thinking about how lucky Rocco was to have you, a human who loved him and respected him. How many other beautiful cats there must be who need someone like you to adopt them?
Give yourself some time to grieve. This intense, traumatic moment is NOT the time to make decisions about stopping your meds. Keep everything else in your life steady and continuous. Don't change anything.
Create a memory box or book about Rocco. I am sure you have pictures. Write the entire story of how he came into your life and your life together. This will help you keep in in your memories.
I am glad you posted here. Keep in touch. Take good care of your self. I know that is something Rocco would want for you.
Posted by Annie on January 2, 2000, at 16:40:25
In reply to Re: My best friend died, posted by Noa on January 1, 2000, at 10:00:11
To JohnL, JohnB, juniper and Noa: Thank you all for your wise and supportive posts. I can't begin to tell you how much they helped me to get my head together. I must have been in a very bad way to post such an emotional message here in the first place. Somewhat embarrassing now. I started my medicines again and am allowing myself to grieve for Rocco, knowing that it will get easier to bear as time goes on.
Thank you all for taking the time to help me.
Annie
Posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 18:09:27
In reply to Re: My best friend died, posted by Annie on January 2, 2000, at 16:40:25
Annie,
No need to be embarrassed. Thanks for letting us know you are ok. I am so glad you are back on your meds. Keep in touch.
Posted by Joanne on January 3, 2000, at 14:24:09
In reply to Re: My best friend died, posted by Noa on January 2, 2000, at 18:09:27
> Annie,
>
> No need to be embarrassed. Thanks for letting us know you are ok. I am so glad you are back on your meds. Keep in touch.Annie,
I just read your post and the follow-ups, and my heart goes out to you. I know the pain is intense. I am so sorry, and I wish I could give you a hug or a shoulder to cry on. I'm glad you have other friends who care about you and understand what you're going through. Please let them help you, and don't be embarrassed. You deserve all the love, compassion, and TLC that you need. My Shadow (whom people refer to as a dog)is my baby, and I know the love you feel for Rocco. I know that special bond you had. Annie, Rocco was blessed to have a friend like you, and vice versa. It is a love that will last forever and nobody can take that away. Take care, joanne
Posted by juniper on January 10, 2000, at 23:25:58
In reply to Re: My best friend died, posted by Joanne on January 3, 2000, at 14:24:09
Annie,
i just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. please drop a line when you are able. you are still in my thoughts.
peace,
juniper
This is the end of the thread.
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