Posted by Annie on December 30, 1999, at 17:55:49
Last night, Rocco, my best friend who was a cat died unexpectedly. He didn't know he was a cat and friends laughed because I talked to him as if he were a human. I can not help blaming my self because I saw no outward signs that he was so sick. I took him to the vet thinking they would laugh at me because he just seemed not to be himself. In 10 minutes after getting there he was dead. I alway told my friends and therapist that Rocco's friendship kept me alive through the worst of the depression and that when he went, I would go too. I thought I had at least 10 or 15 years left with him. I have 2 other cats that are cats and I am trying to find homes for them now. I think it should be easy because one is a lap cat that many old people would love and the other is a beautiful white angora type. I have stopped taking all my medicine and haven't decided what I am going to do about myself. I am not a "cat lady", I have many good people friends including my therapist who are "keeping watch" on me. They can't do this 24 hours a day though and I can't imagine living without Rocky. I probably would be dead already if I weren't on a medicine combination that was working but both have short half lives and in a few days they should be out of my system. I am not looking for any responses here. I just needed to share my story. I told my human best friend that I would honestly kill anyone who said "He was just a cat," and I meant it. I took the phone off the hook and I will not answer the door. Perhaps in a few days, I will come to terms with Rocco's death but I doubt it. I still have to see to his remains and I will do that tomorrow. Some of you will understand and some of you will think I am crazy, but if I can stop anyone from saying "He was just a cat" or trying to minimize the pain a person like me feels my comparing it to the pain a parent feels when they lose a child, I will not have shared this in vain. I was going to write this post anonymously because a few of you know me personally, but that seemed dishonest to the memory of Rocco.
Annie
poster:Annie
thread:17693
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991212/msgs/17693.html