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Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
In reply to Re: Jlynne » jlynne, posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 9:33:38
Hi jlynne,
It's good to hear from you again. Yes, you were missed. Here's hoping that you're weathering your storm fairly well. ((jlynne))
You needn't bother reading through all the messages that you missed. It basically comes down to me still being up the creek without a paddle. Lol. Nothing new about that.
I'm just getting out of bed at 2pm here. I don't do anything but sleep now. I'm going to try and take a shower now, but I feel so weak. Ugh.
Almost phoned the Mobile Crisis Line last night, but I couldn't. I would have to think that I was worth their time to bother them, and right now I don't feel worth diddly. I don't even know how to stick up for myself against my 15-year old son. I'm so tired.
Anyways, welcome back. Always good to have you around.
Sandra
Posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 12:54:45
In reply to Re: Jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
Hey Sandy - Just a thought that came to me while reading your note to Jlynne:
If it weren't for people who felt so down that they didn't feel they were worth anybody's trouble, there would be no need for a mobile crisis unit . . . think on that for a minute :-).
Love ya,
Lynne
{{{{Sandra}}} {{{Jlynne}}}
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
In reply to Re: Jlynne » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on June 2, 2004, at 12:54:45
Hey girlie,
I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
Sandy
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:11:54
In reply to LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
> Hey girlie,
>
> I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
>
> SandyLynne - "Yeah, what she said!" (*smile*)
...jlynne
Posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
In reply to Re: Jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 11:55:54
Sorry, kid . . . the profundity I promised hasn't ignited the ol' synapses yet; hard to be brilliant on three hours of sleep.
Good luck with your son - I was the single mother of a 15-yr old son, too (argh!). I really think Adam and Eve must have screwed up more than what we are aware of, because NO ONE deserves the kind of punishment we get as parents of adolescents!! (yes, I like to shift blame whenever possible *smile*)
((((Sandy)))) ((((mothers))))
...jlynne
P.S. My son is now 34 yrs old and has a 10yr old son of his own (heh heh).
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 20:44:55
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
Jlynne,
Banish the thought of my children having kids of their own! Yikes! Then again, I suppose I might have much more FUN being grammie rather than mum. You're a lucky duck, jlynne!
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:08:13
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
SCAT!
Get to bed!!
3-hours sleep is not enough to make sense on Babble!!
Then again, a fine-tuned sleep-fulfilled brain probably wouldn't make much sense to us Babblers.
Okay, forget the SCAT.
Come on BACK! Forget the sleep! Let's all play ineptly together in Babble-land! *smile*
Sandy
(have a good night's sleep, jlynne)
Posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 21:37:21
In reply to And Another Thing Jlynne...., posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:08:13
Sandy,
I can "hear" the smile in your post. It feels pretty genuine to me compared to some other posts in the recent past when I know you were really struggling. I know you still face an uphill battle, but I hope that light-hearted feeling stays with you for longer and longer periods of time in the future.(((Sandy)))
gg
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:49:19
In reply to Jumping in, posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 21:37:21
Hey gg,
You can jump in any time. Is this what they call "Double Dutch"?? (I'm probably dating myself with that jumping-rope game!)
Yup, there's been a shifting for some reason. Nothing's changed, so I'm not sure why it happened. I guess you can only handle being "down" for so long before the body starts to rebell!! It doesn't feel "natural"....but I'll take it!!!!! And fill me up for a second round too, please! *smile*
I think I'll probably stay up all night tonight....watching tv.....just so I can keep this okay feeling with me. I don't want to go to sleep and then wake up as the morose little dweeb I've been for AGES now. I don't want to lose this little spark. So....lots of surfing the internet and watching tv to the wee hours for this ole ma! Of course, by staying up all night I'll probably feel like a Grandma by morning (What?? Did you say something, jlynne??).
Have a good night, gg!! And thanks for the messages that you have sent. I didn't always respond to everyone, and I had the best of intentions. I really did appreciate that you were with me. (((GG))) Thanks again!!
Sandy
Posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 22:12:01
In reply to Re: Jumping in » gardenergirl, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 21:49:19
Anytime, Sandy. I'm feeling a bit frazzled and lonely myself, so I'm glad you were still up to post. But I'm going to bed soon. I've been staying up really late too, and at my age, it's starting to catch up with me.
Take care!
gg
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 2, 2004, at 23:33:21
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by EmmyS on May 31, 2004, at 23:47:22
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 23:42:20
In reply to Re: Jumping in, posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2004, at 22:12:01
Wishing you pleasant dreams, gg!
((gg))
Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 23:51:27
In reply to Hello,SandyWeb, posted by jlynne on March 23, 2004, at 23:19:56
Good Ev-e-ning!
I'm pooping out, so I guess I won't be up all night afterall. Shucks! I can hear the old age creeping up on me already. *smile*
I just happened to look at the page with ALL the posts from this thread. Wow-sers!!!! What a roller coaster, huh?? My goodness! I'm not about to go in and read those messages again. Good riddance, I say! Lol.
Sorry I took all of you on such a ride. I didn't realize it had been that bumpy for all of you. I was a basket case, huh?!?
Thanks for standing by me through all this. You guys deserve a medal! I really, really appreciate it. By the looks of things, you helped me to hang on sometimes. I don't remember PRECISELY.....but I think I was depressed?? Lol!!
Have a great day!
Sandy
Posted by jlynne on June 3, 2004, at 1:56:23
In reply to Re: Sandy » jlynne, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 20:44:55
> Jlynne,
>
> Banish the thought of my children having kids of their own! Yikes! Then again, I suppose I might have much more FUN being grammie rather than mum. You're a lucky duck, jlynne!
>
> Sandy
>Hey, Sandy . . . it's the only revenge we are allowed, for them to have teenagers of their own. LOL
Nice to see you smiling again, sweetie. Don't question it:~)
((((HUGS)))) ((((smiles))))
...jlynne
P.S. Don't think I missed that crack about "grandmas". *smile*
Posted by partlycloudy on June 3, 2004, at 12:42:04
In reply to Good Gracious!!, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 23:51:27
I think you deserve a brand new thread so you can put last week behind you. Go for it, girl!
Posted by LynneDa on June 3, 2004, at 13:59:04
In reply to LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on June 2, 2004, at 13:22:14
3 philosophy classes . . . wow, no wonder you are such a deep thinker! I'm glad to know I could make it as a philosophy teacher if I needed a fall-back career! I was always a glass half full, Pollyanna type - could find the good in any situation. At 40, my rose-colored glasses have become a little less rosy. I sure wouldn't mind being that glass half full girl again!
I am SO happy to hear a lighter tone in your notes. I hope it lasts for you sweetie! Even if it occasionally dimishes, you know you are capable of feeling good and that the down times are NOT your permanent state, but just a temporary aberration! :-)
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hey girlie,
>
> I've taken 3 philosophy courses in my long career as "Professional Student". Honey, your way of thinking has got those professors beat! Ha!
>
> Sandy
Posted by SandyWeb on June 3, 2004, at 23:45:06
In reply to Re: LynneDa » SandyWeb, posted by LynneDa on June 3, 2004, at 13:59:04
We just received a 2-week eviction notice. I can't keep this up anymore. I don't have anything more left to lose.
Can someone please email me at sandrawebster@sprint.ca
Sandy
Posted by gardenergirl on June 4, 2004, at 1:36:09
In reply to Someone Email Me Please, posted by SandyWeb on June 3, 2004, at 23:45:06
Posted by trucker on June 4, 2004, at 15:19:09
In reply to Sandy, posted by jlynne on June 2, 2004, at 19:35:34
poetic justice for your son i think... it all comes back to haunt ya
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
> Sorry, kid . . . the profundity I promised hasn't ignited the ol' synapses yet; hard to be brilliant on three hours of sleep.
>
> Good luck with your son - I was the single mother of a 15-yr old son, too (argh!). I really think Adam and Eve must have screwed up more than what we are aware of, because NO ONE deserves the kind of punishment we get as parents of adolescents!! (yes, I like to shift blame whenever possible *smile*)
>
> ((((Sandy)))) ((((mothers))))
>
> ...jlynne
>
> P.S. My son is now 34 yrs old and has a 10yr old son of his own (heh heh).
Posted by SandyWeb on June 5, 2004, at 23:00:41
In reply to Someone Email Me Please, posted by SandyWeb on June 3, 2004, at 23:45:06
Thanks for the 2 messages I received. I was so much in need to talk with someone that night....and I can see, from days later, just how much I'm worth. I understand how fed up you guys are with me. I get the message. I've always gotten the message.
I don't know how to deal with an eviction notice. I've never recived one before in my 39-years.
Can you guys do a favor for me? The oes who know me. Pleae contact Cst. Andrew MacVivor and Cst. Rov MacMullin. You know the oilice department. I don't thnnk they are back on duty until Monday the 7th. It'll be all over by then...but....coud someone please get in touch with them and ask that maybe they could heep an eye on my kids. I don't now how they will react, and I would kihe the ilice tobe a good impact on the,.
I feel like throwing up. I actually had a motel room rented for tonight, but decided in the last minute hat the money coud be spent on better things. Such as the one onth of rent that I missed because of Welfare being cut off, and then being 2 months ate in other bills. There;s my excuse. Everyone needs an excuse, right?
I get the point. I'm down...and ten I eventaully get "yp"....but life just punches me down again. I get it, okay? Even when others wouldn't email me back....I realizze how much people likeme.
I was going o send an emial to me cop "angels". Bit, I *think* that they are off duty until OMonday moring. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I've been drinking and popping pils. I'm not sure why it never works. I can't see he keybortd any more. And if the pills don't work, then I'v got a day with the cast if the city. I can't leep my eyes open!! It is time. How did I ever veer away from the original plan? Oh, that's right. Because the kind=hearted Rob interveened with the police and hospital. He gave me two extra months to have my wothlessness thrown in my aface.
And no one emailed me when I REALLY needed yo vonnect with someone. My bosy was actually shaking. YTjanks for the comfort. Yeah, right. Only 3 peopje emailed....showing just how exhausted people are with me. I can't even readthe screen now.
I have los everything. I hope someone will get in touch with my 2 angels when they are back on duty. They will be helped through this. They are cognizant to the fact that ...and now I've lost my trin of thought.
My daughter is spending the night at a friends. I was going to hold that group. I'm not sure what is going on. Sorry for all the drama I've brought into my life to lay at your geet.
What what episeensI know I wont b abe to wakj once the pills wear off. And if that hapopens, I've got a rzor blade nearby. Why did Dr. Rovert stop visiting me? Because
O hav4 to prtform a citicy for the ER? I was going to arrange for a night's pellow for the night.
I Rob, I see you at the smokes counter. I didn't know that you smoke. Shame, shame. How the kids are here. G howwell. I feel bad for sending all those employees.
Posted by octopusprime on June 5, 2004, at 23:22:08
In reply to Re: Someone Email Me Please, posted by SandyWeb on June 5, 2004, at 23:00:41
sandy we care
please come to open and talk
Posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 23:22:47
In reply to Re: Someone Email Me Please, posted by SandyWeb on June 5, 2004, at 23:00:41
Sandy,
please come to open and talk with us. You can vent or you can be silly. Whatever it takes.We're here.
gg
Posted by SandyWeb on June 6, 2004, at 1:58:16
In reply to Sandy dear, come to Open. We're here! » SandyWeb, posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 23:22:47
I still can't see right. But I was still able to trick you-know=who. They spent a whole 2minutes wtih me. They weren't in the least bit interested. And they nade e very, very noervous.
Appreciate it......How come they said that I wanted to do it ecause my kids weren't jome? If I said that I do't remember. I should have been in a notel, vut decided not to sepend so much moneyu on a brf!
They daw a woman dressed normally, te houise is neat and tidy, and I fuess I spoke cojeretly. Scared me. I could not go aypkace with those people. I could hear muself talking out through my ears. I dar downh, dimmed the lights, and only focused on on person. I thought my eyed ertr explofing out of my head. I am doooooo glad that they only stayed for 2 minutes. I had to ask her to repeat herself a couple of times. Thy were in a rush to leave. I could harly speak because my mouth was so fry. I am glad, glad, flad they are fone.
Oh gosh, it is almost 4am. Another failure. I knew I didn't want to do it in my apartment. I feel dirty now. Thans but so thans.
Posted by SandyWeb on June 6, 2004, at 2:21:26
In reply to Re: Sandy dear, come to Open. We're here!, posted by SandyWeb on June 6, 2004, at 1:58:16
I really have to leave this board now. (Big round of happy cheering for that!). The whole thing is id that I didn't want to be alone wjem O ge;; a;leep. I'm not good ith foing things by muself.
I do not like doimg xomething, and then it gets interfered with. I can;t keep feeling this way. It makes me feel worse and wose and worse. 2 more weeks and wehave to be packed upo and gone. I haven;t even told the kids yet. They won't even be able to finsih the school year here. I hate lying to people. I can't deal with the eviction. Gosh darn it, I *know* nothing us going to happen tnugt. The cops made me give a veral guarantee that I would't do anuthing tinught a they left. I can;t stand this. Another day. Yu gave me anotehr day. I am so messed up. I should just do it now. She was so smug in thinking that I'd lee[ thje premose/ I have nothing to lose. U guess I can wait another day. So I fuess gat neabs I can gpo to bed now. I knoe I'll sleeo a long long time. O really don't want to wake up to the world I live in.
No more messages. Thry mkae me do thingd I fon't want to do.
Off to bed, To eakr up to a world again that I fon't belong in.
Posted by octopusprime on June 6, 2004, at 12:43:06
In reply to Re: Sandy dear, come to Open. We're here!, posted by SandyWeb on June 6, 2004, at 2:21:26
Sandy,
are you feeling better this morning?
listen we called the cops because we are concerned about you and we care.
you have a lot on your plate right now and you need help.
your children need a home, you need to find one for them. did you call any of the places i suggested to you?
if you can't do this sandy, please go to the hospital. they will help keep you and your children safe.
sandy i have said this to you before ... i think what you want is for the pain to stop, not for your life to stop. medications CAN help you get it together enough to find a job and a place to live. but first you have to decide to put YOU and your kids first. and accept the help as offered.
i implore you sandy to consider going to the hospital.
i'm sorry you're disappointed in the lack of response here but it's extremely difficult for all of us to help you when you refuse any and all attempts at help from professionals. please consider professional help.
will email and post this message in case you really aren't checking the boards.
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