![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 28 to 52 of 191. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on December 25, 2003, at 13:18:34
In reply to Re: So that's why he goes sockless!!! » Dinah, posted by noa on December 25, 2003, at 9:07:51
Hmmm... His clothes really vary widely in style I suppose. He always wears long sleeves. And his clothes always look like they're high quality and extremely neat, well pressed, shiny (if they're supposed to be), and new. I think when he goes sockless, it's on casual Fridays and he probably is dressed in quintessential preppy style. When that Regis look was hot, he used to come in in the dark shirts and ties (is that right?). I used to smile to myself. Those must have all gotten thrown out, because I never see them anymore.
In some ways I think it's kind of little boy cute. Like he's trying to make sure he's wearing the proper grown up costume. He seems very boyish sometimes. (I'm almost positive I remember seeing him lick his finger to remove an imperceptible smudge from his shoe.)
While I'm simultaneously totally convinced that he's as old as Dumbledore and twice as wise.
Ah, transference....
Posted by Waterlily on December 25, 2003, at 16:23:45
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
My therapist's upper two front teeth overlap. It looks odd and makes it difficult for me to discuss my teeth overhaul with her (I'm currently 21 months into orthodontic treatment to be followed by two dental implants to replace genetically missing teeth). I'm always afraid to talk about it because she might think I'm thinking something bad about her teeth (I am, but I don't think badly of her as a person because of it). She has complimented me on going through all of this to improve myself. I don't know what to think of that.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 25, 2003, at 16:58:10
In reply to How about a therapist dental disaster?, posted by Waterlily on December 25, 2003, at 16:23:45
I would think of it this way... At least she is comforatable enough with herself to not have to feel as though she needs to go through the pain of having her teeth "fixed." I have a tooth that is slightly crooked and it used to really frustrated me. Now, I like it. I prefer to think it gives me character.
But, you should be able to talk aobut what you want. I'd assume that she would be able to afford to correct her teeth, if she so choses. My guess is that she doesn't. So, I'd feel free to talk away. I just wouldn't comment on hers.
Posted by LostGirl on December 28, 2003, at 21:31:34
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
I love threads about therapists.
My former therapist:
You knew when the seasons were changing because in the Spring he'd suddenly switch over to short sleeve dress shirts with ties. I was shocked the first time I saw that his arms were very hairy and the hair was very dark even though his head hair and mustache were pretty gray(prematurely gray - he was late 40s). Every Fall he'd switch back to long sleeves. He almost never wore a blazer - maybe twice a year. He did like to wear sweater vests which were a little tight and not stylish. Occasionally he wore one of two cardigan sweaters and I really liked that because it reminded me of Mr. Rogers or the father on Father Knows Best and made me feel safe.Current therapist:
She has a mink coat hanging on her coat rack in the winter. She wears pointy shoes and high spiky heels. Her diamond ring is a huge rock and she wears a lot of other fancy jewelry. She also dyes her hair blonde. I hate all those things and wish she were more down to earth or earthy or something like that. Also, completely not in line with all of that is a tattoo of a rose on one inner ankle. Nearly fell out of my chair the first time I noticed it. She's early 50s.Re: Top siders - we call them boat shoes around here
Posted by Elle2021 on December 29, 2003, at 5:09:48
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by LostGirl on December 28, 2003, at 21:31:34
My therapist is a wonderful and classy dresser. He wears full suits, but sometimes he takes his suit jacket off before my appointment. He usually wears navy blue, which he looks really good in. Always has a stylish tie to match. :)
Elle
Posted by Poet on December 29, 2003, at 10:02:42
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Elle2021 on December 29, 2003, at 5:09:48
My therapist apparently only has two pairs of shoes. In spring/summer/fall she wears blue sandals (with socks in cooler weather- ugh!) Winter it's gray flats. I've been seeing her for 1 1/2 years and have never seen her wear anything else on her feet.
Clothes wise, she rotates the same few outfits, but never wears the same thing two weeks in a row.
Poet
Posted by Joslynn on December 29, 2003, at 15:20:56
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Poet on December 29, 2003, at 10:02:42
How did I miss this fun thread?
Ok, therapist (female): Wears eyeliner that is too dark/thick for her complexion. I wish I could just reach over and blend it! Wears jumpers with swirly, bohemian patterns and sandals. She is a bit overweight, so she may be trying to hid that with the big jumpers. Lately, she has lost a lot of weight though. She started exercising. I guess they don't get much exercise sitting in their chairs listening to us. She would be played by a heavier version of Judith Light perhaps?
Pdcoc (male). Dress shirts, ties, dress slacks, tweed jacket thrown over chair but usually not worn. Sometimes he pairs olive green dress slacks with his clashing light teal green shirt, I guess assuming that, hey, they are both green. (Does not get the idea of different hues and cools versus warms, but overall, a good though generic dresser.) Bald. In good shape for his age, I think he words out.
My dress: Work clothes when I see therapist directly after work. For pdoc, usualy I have time between work and appt, so I usually wear jeans or black pants and a nice top. I want to look pretty, but not seductive.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 2, 2004, at 23:33:39
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Joslynn on December 29, 2003, at 15:20:56
Well this is the first time I've been able to access the internet all Christmas vacation and I've been on the floor laughing as usual. You guys crack me up.
So I haven't seen my therapist in almost 3 weeks. I'm am absolutely DYING to see if he got any new duds for Christmas, maybe a back/chest/leg wax?
Karen, I spend about equal times staring at his eyes and leg hair alternately. I am fascinated. And he does manage to come with his fly zipped, fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, that could be another thread). And of course he doesn't wear jackets, just the short sleeve "dress" shirts with the ties.
Another offense:
1. Big Casio watch, the kind my brother wore in 7th grade in 1982
I figure by the way he dresses he must not have a girlfriend. There is no way one would let him leave the house the way he does...
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 3, 2004, at 0:16:27
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 2, 2004, at 23:33:39
Ah yes, my crush....
It is as mystifying to me as it is to you, Karen. Brace yourself again for this fact I'm about to drop on you....
He looks like Mr. Bean - Rowan Atkinson. If you still have no idea what he looks like, I'm sure you can google "Mr. Bean" and see what he looks like. Please know I have great taste in men and that my husband is beautiful and exotic.
But I always, Without fail, develop crushes on care givers. I went thru 4 months of physical therapy 4 years ago for a ruptured achilles tendon and developed a crush on my female physical therapist. The sex of the caregiver is not an issue apparently. So while he physically is a little geeky for me, it doesn't surprise me one bit that I love him. He has beautiiful brown eyes and really nice hands (hairy knuckles of course)and he is slender (I like thin men).
The first month or so of therapy was difficult for me due to the distraction of the clothing, but as I started feeling better, I was able to concentrate more on how he was helping me.
But still, I never know what I'm going to get when I walk thru that door...
I would say he is mid 40s, dark hair, dark eyes, about 5'10, thin and HAIRY. His haircut is generally bad although he does have a full head of hair. ANd he has a very cute smile, nice teeth.
How I wish I could take you to a session with me to get some of these issues ironed out... A new agenda:
Miss Honeychurch and Karen Kay
2:00 pm2:00 introductions and pleasantries
2:05 Karen discusses magnitude of Miss Honeychurch's transference issues and how Therapist is to deal with them through more physical contact, preferably mild groping
2:40 Karen discusses importance of beneficial psychological implications of long socks, long sleeve shirts, big boy watch, and the proper way to wear sweaters
2:48 Karen discusses importance of flossing before every session with Miss Honeychurch
2:49 Parting passionate kiss for Miss Honeychurch, standard handshake for Karen Kay.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 3, 2004, at 12:06:40
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters (Karen), posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 3, 2004, at 0:16:27
I am SO in love with Mr. Bean. Is it his sense of humor, his lack of charm, the way he grunts, possibly his lack of vocabulary, I'm not exactly sure. But I think I just may take you up on your offer for the visit to see your therapist. However you may not like the results. Sorry, I may not be able to control myself. I actually Tivo every episode of Bean and there was a marathon on New Years Day! :) So, let us try again with this new agenda. But, I don't mind sharing :)
BTW, I too without fail develope crushes on care givers (as well as bosses).
Karen and Miss Honey Agenda
January 4, 2003
2:00 pm2:00-2:01 Greetings and introductions
2:01-2:05 Miss Honey's transference issues
2:05-2:10 Miss Honey's "fun time" with Bean
2:10-2:11 Hug for Miss Honey and reschedule
2:11-2:12 Miss Honey is excused
2:12-4:00 Karen's time with Bean (Hey I've waited a while for Bean :)
4:00-4:01 Handshake and rescheduleSounds like quite and agenda, now doesn't it? Yuor therapist will be quite the busy man! And don't you worry, I'll fill you in on all the details!
Now, of course while he is dresing, I'll bring the proper clothing for him (including a big boy watch) and I'll be sure he doesn't tuck his sweater in. But if he looks like Bean, maybe it's cuter that he does tuck his sweater in.
Posted by All Done on January 4, 2004, at 3:06:27
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Hi all! I'm new here and just recently posted on another board, but I want to thank you guys for making me laugh (the best medicine, right?) You're hysterical! My husband must wonder about me when I inexplicably burst into laughter while thinking about what my therapist wears...
To add my two cents - My therapist (who I've been seeing for about six months) has wonderful fashion sense and had never worn an outfit twice! But something has been bothering me lately (hmm, go figure). I live in Chicago and, admittedly, the weather the past couple of weeks has been unseasonably warm, but still coat-worthy. For some reason, my therapist, after weeks of long sleeves, has taken to wearing short sleeve shirts. Why this bothers me, I have no idea, but it does.
Grooming-wise, he is also very conscious, but one session, he seemed to have missed a spot while trimming his sideburns. There were a few strands of hair a bit longer than the rest and I couldn't pay attention to anything else. I even had to change the topic once because I lost my train of thought. Slightly obsessive, perhaps.
Are they aware of the microscopes we call our eyes???
Thanks again for the laughs,
All Done
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2004, at 17:57:10
In reply to Mr. Bean, I love you! » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 3, 2004, at 12:06:40
The only ammendment I would make to the new agenda is to add about 35 more minutes to my "fun time" with Bean.
Mr. Bean fits into the category of those I am strangely attracted to, like Mick Jagger (get a load of him in the mid 60s - HOT!) and Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 19:05:44
In reply to Re: Mr. Bean, I love you! » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 4, 2004, at 17:57:10
OK, ok Miss Honey, let's not get huffey! :) We can alway revise our agenda to suit your needs. He is after all your therapist first and foremost! Now let's see what we can do to best accomodate your desires. But, we must get this straight before Tuesday because I am fairly certain if we go in bumbling around, he'll have nothing to do with our dastardly plan. Now, let me know soon if this is to you liking. And of ocurse, we'll have to work this out with the insurance company, as we are not "Ladies of the Night." I'm sure he'll expect prompt payment. And this may take now three sessions, as you need more time with "Mr. Bean", as we now call him. BTW, I'm missing my appointment with my therapist for this one, so it had better be good :)
Miss Honey and Karen Agenda
January 6, 2004
2:00 pm2:00-2:01 Greetings and introductions
2:01-2:10 Grown-up attire and big boy watch
2:10-2:45 Karen leads discussion of transference issues Miss Honey has towards "Mr. Bean"
2:45-2:46 "Mr. Bean" sits dumb-founded
2:46-2:47 "Mr. Bean" picks at teeth
2:47-2:48 Karen smacks "Mr. Bean's" hand
2:48-2:50 Fight ensues
2:50-2:51 Miss Honey sits dumb-founded
2:51-2:52 Security guard knocks on door
2:53-3:00 Miss Honey reassures guard things are OK
3:00-3:01 Miss Honey resumes front row seat to fight
3:01-3:15 Groping continues with Miss Honey becoming frustrated
3:15-3:20 Miss Honey joins in fight
3:21-3:30 Fighting continues until all parties are exhausted and disheveled
3:30-3:31 Everyone sits in proper chairs, "Mr. Bean's" sweater is no longer tucked in!
3:31-3:45 Discussion of fight and proper etiquette
3:45-4:25 Karen leaves for coffee, Miss Honey has lone time with "Bean"
4:25-4:26 Karen returns early to find Miss Honey's a** in air
4:27-4:45 Karen returns and all have discussion about the events of the day
4:45-4:50 Karen realizes that she will never have "Mr. Bean" :(
5:00-7:00 Karen and Miss Honey meet for coffee and Karen gets all of the details!!A month later, Karen gets a notice from her insurance saying they refuse to pay the bill :(
A month later, Karen hears from Miss Honey that she has contracted an STD :) HA HA!! (Serves you right!)
A month later, Mr. Bean serves Karen with papers stating that he is charging her with assault.
Karen's own therapist refuses to see her because she cheated on him with another therapist.
The moral of the story kiddies, DON'T trust Miss Honey, or a therapist that looks like Mr. Bean!
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2004, at 9:05:30
In reply to Fun time for therapist » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 4, 2004, at 19:05:44
What a great way to start my first day back at work. I am crying with laughter right now!!!!
Posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 11:37:21
In reply to Re: Fun time for therapist » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 5, 2004, at 9:05:30
Right-o Miss Honey! Now I have a job for you. Print out this agenda and take it to your therapist for your next session. This should lead to an interesting discussion. Everything that you have wanted to discuss with him is listed on this agenda. Plus, he will be able to tell you whether or not he has an STD! :)
Posted by Karen_kay on January 6, 2004, at 17:31:58
In reply to Re: Fun time for therapist » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 11:37:21
I just read that Mr Bean checked into a hospital for depression... Now I feel bad... If only I had stuck around.......
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 7, 2004, at 10:36:03
In reply to Mr. Bean :( » Karen_kay, posted by Karen_kay on January 6, 2004, at 17:31:58
No way!!! It must be pretty serious if he is in the hospital. I would love to send him something.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 7, 2004, at 23:52:16
In reply to Re: Mr. Bean :(, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 7, 2004, at 10:36:03
I know Miss Honey, I can think of a few things I'd like to send him :) Poor guy. Maybe he's posting on here and read this and it sent him over the top? Nah, I'm sure this would cheer him up.. No doubt about it!
How's therapy going? And everything else, you auburn vixen you? (please don't be offended I said that, please!!) I'm really not hitting on you, unless you like it! (He he he!) Just foolin around girlie. But seriously, how are things? I'm doing ok. Hanging in there anyway. I had a tough therapy session on Tuesday. You can read about it on Psycho-whatever-it-is-now... I can't keep track anymore! How was yours?
I start classes on Monday. But I have them scheduled so I don't have a class until 11!! Lucky me, eh? The joys of having many transfer credits. I can register early, actually I have one of the first register days so I get first dibs on classes. Let me know what's going on, stranger!
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 8, 2004, at 11:01:43
In reply to Re: Mr. Bean :( » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 7, 2004, at 23:52:16
O Karen, I enjoy ANYONE hitting on me, I could care less about the sex of the person. All it means is more attention for me! Go ahead and call me anything you want, I haven't been called a vixen in at least 2 months:)
I have therapy this afternoon. It's been 3 weeks since I've seen Bean, so I'm a little nervous. I'm all dressed up though for the occasion as usual and even shaved my legs last night in preparation AND I'm wearing a new pair of pantyhose. Those only get pulled out once a week for Bean. I hope he appreciates it! I wrote him a nice letter with my Christmas card to him telling him how much I appreciate him. I'm sure it read like a love letter. I'll be interested to see if he brings it up or not. I spent Christmas with my family in California so I have a few interesting tidbits to share with him this afternoon. I just hope I don't go in there making a fool of myself telling him how happy I am to see him. You know on our last session, he started it out with "I'm really glad to see you." I figure he says those sorts of things without thinking as part of a greeting, but he never said that before. I'm trying not to read too much into it of course but I would be lying if I said I didn't think about those words a lot over break.
I'm doing well. I start a non-fiction writing class on January 20th at the University where I work. And I'll be dancing in a couple of flamenco productions in February, my first professional shows! I'm doing OK on some of my resolutions. I've been flossing regularly, however, I much prefer coke over water and I have no one to speak French with here. Of course the other resolution has to do with procrastination which I can't seem to kick on my own. Bean has to help me out on that one.
What are you studying? I did Art HIstory and French in college and grad school.
O, and The Cure has a new CD out of B sides and other unreleased material. So far great reviews!
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 8, 2004, at 14:20:18
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Elle2021 on December 29, 2003, at 5:09:48
Well, my Therapist obviosly got some new duds AND some fashion advice for Christmas. He was looking very pleasing in a pair of black corderoys and a burgundy, long sleeved button down shirt. Same top siders though and Casio watch.
I was very pleased! (I hope he doesn't read these boards - I'm sure he could pick me out in a minute, psuedonym or no pseudonym)
Posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 17:40:34
In reply to Re: Mr. Bean :( » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 8, 2004, at 11:01:43
Please tell me he didn't wear brown shoes with black pants..... My boyfriend got a nice watch for Christmas. I can send you his old one if you like??? Maybe you can just accidently leave it in his office. Maybe he can take the hint? Whadda ya think?
You said I can call you anything I want. Well, I'm reserving that opportunity, so be careful not to make me angry in the future. I may seem sweet and caring right now, but if you make me angry just watch out :) I'm a cancer you know (zodiac), and like a crab I'll strike! he he he! I too enjoy any type of compliment, unless I feel it is false. I'd rather hear nothing or a criticsm than what I perceive to be a false compliment. That drives me nuts. I really jump my therapists case for doing that! I still haven't written a list of appropriate compliments, but I'll get around to it some day....So, cutie pie what are you doing tonight? (how's that?? the best I can do right now...sorry..)
I love getting prepared for threrapy. It's a must. I'm not really feeling the crush anymore. He's my daddy now. I even yelled at him a few weeks ago, "You're a lousy dad!" I laughed and said, "I'm sure you're a great father to your children but you're not a good father to me!" It makes you feel really silly for having these so-called feelings for your therapist when they don't feel them back. Even worse, I feel that he has nothing but contempt for me. That I'm just wasting his time. It's sad, but what can I do. I think should honestly talk to him about switching therapists and see what he says. I think it is to the point that he either has some countertransference issues that he can't control or jsut a general dislike for me or something.... I don't know....I'm just really going through some things and he said that when I started going through them "we" would go through them togehter but that isn't happening. I'm going through them alone. And I'm not sure if it's my fault or his or both....You know? This crap is confusing. I have enough going on , I don't need the drama of therapy to add to the list. (Sorry, thinking out loud.... Back to "Happy Karen")
So, you wrote him a "Love Letter" Somethng like this:
Mr Bean,
With every breathe I take, I whipser your name. How I long to be near you, to untuck your sweater and unfasten your Casio watch. If only we could make sweet loven, and I could dress you in the morning. With more age appropriate clothing and style. Why won't you let me be near you? Oh why won't you consult a fashion consultant? Oh why can't you help me with my procrastination? Oh why can't we spend the night speaking French and Flamenco dancing? Oh why don't you have style? Oh why don't you floss? I could teach you,if only you'd let me. We could learn so much from eachother. You could teach me lessons of life. I could teach you lesson of etiquette. You complete me. Jerry Maquire told me that.
Yours forever,
Miss Honey XoXoXoPS. We can discuss this Wednesday. Enjoy your holiday! :)
*That's a pretty sweet love letter. Is that what it said. I'm sure that's what it meant anyway! It is strange when they say things like "I care about you" or "I'm glad to see you" or "you can think about me when you masturbate" Yup, mine told me that :)
I WISH I could dance. I always say if I had one super-human power it would be to THINK I could dance like Micheal Jackson. I don't care if I actually do dance well, just that I think I do. I'm very clumsy. I can barely walk. I'm always bumping into walls and falling down for no reason. I can barely walk in a straight line. It's sad :( I hope you do well at your dance show/production!!! I'm sure you will! Break a leg! Your costume is sexy of coure, to match your attitude...I love watching dancers! I think they are so graceful! It's wonderful! I just wish I could do it! But, I know my boundaries and strengths and grace is not one of them...
I'm studying telecommunication. I want to direct and produce my own documetaries. I just love people and I'm curious about them. I'm a certified scuba diver as well, so I'd also like to get into underwater documentaries possibly. But, I'm more interested in people and mental illness especially. But without sensationalizing, as in making people appear weak or helpless. I prefer accurate portrayals, you know? I actually wrote a paper on Bipolar Disorder for my Psychology 101 class (but it was a very personal paper, not diagnostic) and the prof asked to use if for her 400 level class to give a portrayal into what it actually "feels like" to have bipolar disorder. I was really proud. Because I didn't embellish or downplay, it was accurate according to how I saw everything that happened through my eyes. And I want viewers to see what other people see and gain a perspective that way. To gain understanding and compassion and to learn. That's why we are here, to learn from each other (at least I think so).. I think I'm here to teach compassion and I'm pretty handy with a camera so I need to learn to teach compassion through a camera.
Sorry to ramble jsut feeling a bit off today hun. Hey, you're a pretty lady :) Bye bye for now!!! Oh, I'll have to check out that cure cd.. B sides only... HMMMMM!!!!! YUMMY!!!
Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2004, at 19:36:48
In reply to Were his shoes brown? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 17:40:34
Karen, sweetie. You don't need to go back to being "Happy Karen". Angry Karen is welcome to us too.
Do you think you really could ask him about that? Not that I think he's really trying to get rid of you, because he sounds fond of you, but to get it out in the open and lance those festering wounds. How about I'll try it if you do?
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 8, 2004, at 21:20:24
In reply to Were his shoes brown? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 17:40:34
The shoes were his usual "boat shoes" "top siders" "docksiders" or whatever you want to call them. And yes, they were brown. Baby steps remember, baby steps. I wore them every day of 8th grade in 1984 I think. The socks were black and pulled up so I couldn't get a gander at the leg hair, but I was able to imagine it.
Leaving a substitute watch is a good idea. He also had a fresh new haircut. Can't help but think he got all primped up for me today. I don't think I made too much of a fool of myself today, although I did a lot of leaning forward toward him with my face cupped in my hands looking adoringly at him. I'm sure he didn't notice! I'm so transparent!
Your love letter was a lot better than mine. The best I could do was quote Charles Dickens! I mentioned nothing erotic like tucked in sweaters or dental floss. You have a gift for words my dear... I can't wait for our joint session.
And I wouldn't mind seeing the angry Karen, no problem. I will crumple into a pile of mush however if you become angry with me. I don't deal with anger very well if it is mine or directed at me. Something I am working on. I am basically afraid of anger which is why I have never expressed it.
I have seen 2 really good documentaries lately - "Keep the River on your Right" about some journalist's foray into cannibalism in South America and "Dogtown" about skateboarding in Santa Monica in the 70s.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 21:22:12
In reply to Re: Were his shoes brown? » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on January 8, 2004, at 19:36:48
For some reason it threw me off that you responded. I don't know I guess I'm just used to Miss Honey responding here and your response actually kind of scared me. I actually reread the post to "be sure I didn't write anything bad." WHAT?? I'm just not feeling myself lately, honestly. I don't know what's going on but I really need to get it figured out.
I tell him often that I don't think he likes me and he just appears frustrated by it. I think that he thinks I'm using it as a ploy to waste time. That he honestly thinks that he is so completely neutral that there should be no reason for me to think that. Maybe he doesn't think it should matter whether he likes me or not. Maybe it shouldn't, honestly. This is JUST a business relationship in a sense.
I think if I broach the subject of changing therapists then he'll just say, "Well, that's up to you." I've asked in the past about discontinuing therapy and that's how he answered. But, I wasn't serious and I'm sure he knew it. But this time I really think I am. I really don't think I want to continue. I can handle having to work hard to remember things. And I can handle being stereotyped as being "stupid" because I forget who people are and how old I am. But I can't handle this anxiety and I can't handle the memories that are being brought up and the fear that I'm facing right now. Seriously!
And I'm certain your therapist is very fond of you. He's worked with you for quite a while now. He knows so much about you. I know very little about you and have grown quite fond of you. How could he not be fond of you? He made a mistake last week and I hope he apologizes for it. It was uncalled for. I think if you ask him, the results will be very good for you. He will tell you how much he cares for you. And that's great. I just wish I had that kind of relationship with my therapist. I do sometimes, just not all the time.
Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2004, at 22:17:33
In reply to Dinah *Gasp* » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 21:22:12
> For some reason it threw me off that you responded. I don't know I guess I'm just used to Miss Honey responding here and your response actually kind of scared me. I actually reread the post to "be sure I didn't write anything bad." WHAT??
Oh dear, I hadn't realized I was so scary. :) Although, admittedly I can be on occasion, but I can't imagine having occasion with you.
>
> I tell him often that I don't think he likes me and he just appears frustrated by it. I think that he thinks I'm using it as a ploy to waste time. That he honestly thinks that he is so completely neutral that there should be no reason for me to think that. Maybe he doesn't think it should matter whether he likes me or not. Maybe it shouldn't, honestly. This is JUST a business relationship in a sense.
>
Well, it is and it isn't. I used my own job as a comparison to my therapist once, and he said therapy wasn't like that. That you were most effective as a therapist if you did care. But from what you've told us, I'm pretty sure he does care. It's just hard to see it right now.> I think if I broach the subject of changing therapists then he'll just say, "Well, that's up to you." I've asked in the past about discontinuing therapy and that's how he answered.
You aren't alone. Mine has said similar things frequently, including today. I think they're trained to handle what they perceive as ultimatums, although we don't mean them that way, in a certain rigid way. I'm not sure they realize how it makes us feel and react sometimes. I mean, I understand that they don't want to be "manipulated" (which I know I, and I'm sure you, don't mean to do, but they think we do). But there's no reason they can't soften the "That's up to you. I'm sorry you're making that choice." just a bit, so that it leaves a bit more room for us to save face, and makes us feel like we're more than merely a paycheck. I tore a strip off my therapist's back (verbally) about that today.
> But, I wasn't serious and I'm sure he knew it. But this time I really think I am. I really don't think I want to continue. I can handle having to work hard to remember things. And I can handle being stereotyped as being "stupid" because I forget who people are and how old I am. But I can't handle this anxiety and I can't handle the memories that are being brought up and the fear that I'm facing right now. Seriously!
I must have quit at least five times, probably more, the first five years I saw him. But I really didn't want to. Make sure you're sure what you want to do before you quit. I was really lucky he took me back. Some of what you said to Speaker makes me think you're not as certain as you think you may be. But you do need to ask him to back off to a pace that you can tolerate better.
>
> And I'm certain your therapist is very fond of you. He's worked with you for quite a while now. He knows so much about you. I know very little about you and have grown quite fond of you. How could he not be fond of you? He made a mistake last week and I hope he apologizes for it. It was uncalled for. I think if you ask him, the results will be very good for you. He will tell you how much he cares for you. And that's great. I just wish I had that kind of relationship with my therapist. I do sometimes, just not all the time.I do sometimes, but not all the time either. Maybe that's the way it is with some of them. :(
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