Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2004, at 22:17:33
In reply to Dinah *Gasp* » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on January 8, 2004, at 21:22:12
> For some reason it threw me off that you responded. I don't know I guess I'm just used to Miss Honey responding here and your response actually kind of scared me. I actually reread the post to "be sure I didn't write anything bad." WHAT??
Oh dear, I hadn't realized I was so scary. :) Although, admittedly I can be on occasion, but I can't imagine having occasion with you.
>
> I tell him often that I don't think he likes me and he just appears frustrated by it. I think that he thinks I'm using it as a ploy to waste time. That he honestly thinks that he is so completely neutral that there should be no reason for me to think that. Maybe he doesn't think it should matter whether he likes me or not. Maybe it shouldn't, honestly. This is JUST a business relationship in a sense.
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Well, it is and it isn't. I used my own job as a comparison to my therapist once, and he said therapy wasn't like that. That you were most effective as a therapist if you did care. But from what you've told us, I'm pretty sure he does care. It's just hard to see it right now.> I think if I broach the subject of changing therapists then he'll just say, "Well, that's up to you." I've asked in the past about discontinuing therapy and that's how he answered.
You aren't alone. Mine has said similar things frequently, including today. I think they're trained to handle what they perceive as ultimatums, although we don't mean them that way, in a certain rigid way. I'm not sure they realize how it makes us feel and react sometimes. I mean, I understand that they don't want to be "manipulated" (which I know I, and I'm sure you, don't mean to do, but they think we do). But there's no reason they can't soften the "That's up to you. I'm sorry you're making that choice." just a bit, so that it leaves a bit more room for us to save face, and makes us feel like we're more than merely a paycheck. I tore a strip off my therapist's back (verbally) about that today.
> But, I wasn't serious and I'm sure he knew it. But this time I really think I am. I really don't think I want to continue. I can handle having to work hard to remember things. And I can handle being stereotyped as being "stupid" because I forget who people are and how old I am. But I can't handle this anxiety and I can't handle the memories that are being brought up and the fear that I'm facing right now. Seriously!
I must have quit at least five times, probably more, the first five years I saw him. But I really didn't want to. Make sure you're sure what you want to do before you quit. I was really lucky he took me back. Some of what you said to Speaker makes me think you're not as certain as you think you may be. But you do need to ask him to back off to a pace that you can tolerate better.
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> And I'm certain your therapist is very fond of you. He's worked with you for quite a while now. He knows so much about you. I know very little about you and have grown quite fond of you. How could he not be fond of you? He made a mistake last week and I hope he apologizes for it. It was uncalled for. I think if you ask him, the results will be very good for you. He will tell you how much he cares for you. And that's great. I just wish I had that kind of relationship with my therapist. I do sometimes, just not all the time.I do sometimes, but not all the time either. Maybe that's the way it is with some of them. :(
poster:Dinah
thread:292809
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/298388.html