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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
I posted a profile on an internet dating site on Sunday, and then I found a woman on the site who seemed attractive and interesting (and lesbian) so I wrote to her. And she wrote me back. And then we emailed each other a bunch of times and then we talked on the phone and instant messaged each other. We found ourselves feeling extremely attracted to each other, although I never knew it was possible to feel attracted to someone over dial-up.Then last night we had a date. And we were SO attracted to each other. It was amazing. It was all I could do not to ... let's just say it was intense.
You may think this doesn't belong on the Psych board, but for all of you who have listened to me pine for my ex-T for the past year and a half, well, you understand why this post belongs here.
Posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 19:53:08
In reply to I had a hot date, posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
Posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:58:17
In reply to That's terrific!! Congratulations! (nm) » crushedout, posted by Dinah on January 27, 2005, at 19:53:08
Posted by anastasia56 on January 27, 2005, at 20:01:49
In reply to I had a hot date, posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
Posted by All Done on January 27, 2005, at 21:13:12
In reply to I had a hot date, posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
That's fantastic, crushed! I hope this helps to relieve some of the intense feelings you have for your ex-T.
Enjoy your new relationship!
Laurie
Posted by ghost on January 28, 2005, at 8:56:44
In reply to I had a hot date, posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
AWESOME! :)
ghost
Posted by fallsfall on January 28, 2005, at 10:07:21
In reply to I had a hot date, posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
I'm so happy for you!
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 10:25:00
In reply to I had a hot date, posted by crushedout on January 27, 2005, at 19:24:49
How really wonderful for you, crushedout, how exciting and romantic and ... sexy!
Posted by crushedout on January 28, 2005, at 10:31:01
In reply to Re: I had a hot date, posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 10:25:00
Oh, my, yes, it was sexy.
Posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 11:36:42
In reply to Re: I had a hot date » Susan47, posted by crushedout on January 28, 2005, at 10:31:01
my goodness, sound like she literally took your breath away!!
Isn't that such a wonderful rush !!???
So happy for you; thanks for letting us live vicariously through you!!!
Now, let's hope for more where that came from, shall we??!!
Congrats,
Sunny10
Posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 15:42:35
In reply to Re: I had a hot date, posted by sunny10 on January 28, 2005, at 11:36:42
how I envy you your wonderful experience. I hope it grows, and grows, and gets bigger than both of you, and you're enveloped in a wonderful fantastic rush that goes on forever and ever............
Sounds like I'm describing an orgasm.
I like that, that's what a relationship should be like, for a while at least ... and within a relationship, there ought to be lots of opportunities for that to keep happening.....
Let your heart and your instincts rule this for awhile, sweetie, I wish you the best of the best ... you deserve it ...
Posted by crushedout on January 28, 2005, at 16:25:38
In reply to Oh, crushedout ..., posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 15:42:35
Hmm. Thanks, Susan! You may be getting ahead of things, though. It's just a budding attraction. OK, the attraction's in full bloom, but who knows where it will take us. The important thing isI CAN BE ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE ELSE. OTHER THAN MY EX-T.
oh my god that is such a relief.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 7:09:19
In reply to Re: Oh, crushedout ... » Susan47, posted by crushedout on January 28, 2005, at 16:25:38
Now, I've got to find someone to feel safe with other than my therapist.
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 12:08:45
In reply to Re: Oh, crushedout ... » Susan47, posted by crushedout on January 28, 2005, at 16:25:38
it was very good. but i don't think it's love. she's beautiful and has so many of the qualities i want in a lover. and who knows? but i have a feeling she's not the "one." that's ok. it's my first try.but this morning i really wish i had a lover who loves me. because i need one really badly. i woke up to a phone call from my parents who are across the ocean for six months and we had a terrible fight. i feel brutalized. this when you need a spouse or someone at home who makes you know you're ok no matter what happens.
actually do they do that? I don't even know.
i can't stop crying.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 12:30:37
In reply to second date last night....please help, posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 12:08:45
In my experience, no, not really. No one can, not even therapists. And they come closest because they have no real investment.
I'm sorry things didn't go well with your parents. I know that dance only too well. It can be enormously distressing and bring up tons of old hurts.
As far as romance... I don't think I'm in any position to comment. I'm the least romantic person I know. I don't believe in "the one", I believe in "the good enough" to spend the rest of your life with. Then you work hard to make the good enough good enough.
But then I think of my grandparents and how my grandpa looked at my grandma and think I'd give my soul to have someone look like that at me. A human someone. I've had it a couple of times with dogs. I wonder how many people get both that and a good enough helpmate?
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 12:50:34
In reply to Re: second date last night....please help » crushedout, posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 12:30:37
Thanks, Dinah. I kind of hoped you would say that. Somehow it's comforting to me that no one can do that for you. I don't know why.It also helps that you understand what parents can do to a person. I am so devastated and angry and I feel so alone.
I've put on some loud music and it's helping. The only problem now is I want to use drugs really badly. I want to self-destruct, I want to stop feeling, and I was to say f.u. to my parents. Plus I'm listening to AC/DC which would make anyone want to use drugs. Not to mention cuss.
Music is amazing. I forgot that.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 12:59:52
In reply to Re: second date last night....please help » Dinah, posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 12:50:34
Well, feel free to say f.u. to your parents. Although I suppose the guidelines should be the same as anything else. If anything you want to do won't harm you long term, or be against your long term best interests, go ahead and do it. Smash some dishes (safely). But not the best china unless you can afford it. Say f.u. to your parents in person, unless in general having them in your life is better for you than not. Otherwise write a long detailed letter or make a tape. I'd guess staying away from the drugs would help long term as well.
Do you have any prescribed drugs that help when you feel this way? When I get really agitated, nothing but Risperdal makes a dent.
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 13:41:50
In reply to Re: second date last night....please help » crushedout, posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 12:59:52
I think I might have said it on the phone but I'm not sure if they heard me. I instantly regretted it. That sort of thing is not usually productive for anyone.I don't have any prescribed drugs like that. No one wants to give them to me because I'm a "recovering addict" or whatever and I also think it's probably dangerous for me to do that sort of thing.
I'm thinking of cutting a little, safely. Is that ok?
> Well, feel free to say f.u. to your parents. Although I suppose the guidelines should be the same as anything else. If anything you want to do won't harm you long term, or be against your long term best interests, go ahead and do it. Smash some dishes (safely). But not the best china unless you can afford it. Say f.u. to your parents in person, unless in general having them in your life is better for you than not. Otherwise write a long detailed letter or make a tape. I'd guess staying away from the drugs would help long term as well.
>
> Do you have any prescribed drugs that help when you feel this way? When I get really agitated, nothing but Risperdal makes a dent.
Posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 14:01:17
In reply to please help (TRIGGER)*** » Dinah, posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 13:41:50
Well, I would tell *you* that it's probably not a wise choice.
Risperdal probably isn't in the class of drugs they wouldn't prescribe for you. It's an antipsychotic that also works as a pretty darn good tranquilizers at low doses. There are some nasty potential side effects, so I only take it as needed. You might want to check with a pdoc about what they would and wouldn't give you for times like this. I've never believed there is any particular virtue in suffering.
In the meantime can you get out of the house? Go shopping or whatever you do when you haven't anything specific in mind?
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 14:05:27
In reply to Re: please help (TRIGGER)*** » crushedout, posted by Dinah on January 29, 2005, at 14:01:17
Yeah, maybe I could go out. I already did that once. I'll have to see how I feel. I have a lot I need to do around the house. I think I need to get a wireless card so I can start hanging out at the Tea Lounge near my house and use the computer. Me and the computer are like Siamese Twins. When I'm without it, I feel like I left my brain and my vital organs behind.That's a pretty good idea (the wireless card). I have to get on that.
Can I drink myself into the gutter?
I don't want to eat ice cream.
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 14:09:27
In reply to Re: please help (TRIGGER)*** » Dinah, posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 14:05:27
this crisis could be partially due to having 1 and 3/4 drinks last night on my date, and then going to bed late. in fact, i'm sure that's contributing.funny how that makes me want to just do more stuff like that. not very logical.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 29, 2005, at 19:50:52
In reply to just a thought, posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 14:09:27
crushed,
I'm sorry about your call from your parents. It's amazing how much that can hurt, isn't it? And about your second date...well, just see what happens? Your realization that you can be attrached to somone other than your T is huge! If that's what comes from this go-round on the dating rollercoaster, that's great.Now, how are you feeling today? What can you do to get some release instead of hurting yourself? I know I've heard people talk about holding an ice cube in your hand really hard, or throwing ice into the shower. What about doing a really intense workout? Ripping up paper? In fact, how about writing a letter to your folks and then ripping it up?
I know these may sound lame. Do what works best for you, without hurting yourself.
(((((crushed)))))
gg
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 20:04:22
In reply to Re: just a thought, posted by gardenergirl on January 29, 2005, at 19:50:52
thanks, gg. i've calmed down a bit. i cried all day. then i babysat for adorable children who cheered me up so much. i can't believe how cute they were. what a good distraction.now i'm just settling into a vague depression.
the dating thing is good. the woman is lovely and very, very good for my self-esteem. she's the perfect antidote to some perfectly horrible things my parents said to me today. she really is. i don't know where this will take me (i'm a little scared) but i know it's a good development.
it helps having you guys there. i feel guilty because i haven't been around the past few days. my excuse is that i've been working my tail off and then obsessively emailing my new love interest whenever i have free time. will you ever forgive me? i hope so.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 29, 2005, at 20:23:10
In reply to Re: just a thought » gardenergirl, posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 20:04:22
Glad you feel better. And nothing to forgive. You are allowed to have an IRL life.
If forgiveness was needed, y'all would have to forgive me for catching this sinus infection that makes me want to sleep for days.
Take care,
gg
Posted by crushedout on January 29, 2005, at 20:29:00
In reply to Re: just a thought » crushedout, posted by gardenergirl on January 29, 2005, at 20:23:10
then i definitely forgive you for catching the infection.poor gg! feel better.
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