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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 37 to 61 of 98. Go back in thread:
Posted by Willful on January 20, 2014, at 1:43:34
In reply to This is confusing You're changing the message, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 19, 2014, at 23:35:53
I don't understand what's going on here.
My post was in direct response to one of Bob's, which now is completely missing from this thread. My comments therefore refer to no one-- and this "he" now has no referent.
So my post seems pretty incoherent wouldn't you say?
What is all this moving of posts around, anyway?
What's the point?
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 21, 2014, at 4:23:11
In reply to Re: This is confusing You're changing the message, posted by Willful on January 20, 2014, at 1:43:34
> My post was in direct response to one of Bob's, which now is completely missing from this thread. My comments therefore refer to no one-- and this "he" now has no referent.
>
> What is all this moving of posts around, anyway?I was trying to keep one discussion from hijacking another (without shutting it down). But I see now I may have done it backwards. Maybe I should've left the administrative posts and moved the "nice things" posts.
Still, referents should still be clear. For example:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20131217/msgs/1059015.html
was "in reply to":
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1057674.html
Bob
Posted by Twinleaf on January 21, 2014, at 9:05:59
In reply to Re: deja vu all over again, posted by Dr. Bob on January 20, 2014, at 0:01:53
Why would you think it necessary to single me out for especially severe blocks? I am aware that you have felt this way about me for at least the last five years. I feel that the only thing I have done during this time is to say that I did not approve of the very severe blocking policies of 2007, and, more recently, that I did not think an unmoderated forum worked well either. During unmoderated times, there has been an increase in destructive comments and a progressive loss of the most valuable part of Babble - a core of trusting, sharing posters. All this time, I have argued for a relatively minimal, flexible type of monitoring , of a kind that would keep this place
relatively safe and supportive for all those seeking support, understanding and information, and which would not be excessively demanding of your time. During the time I have been here, I have developed a number of relationships here which were meaningful, helpful and supportive; although many of those posters are now gone, I have not forgotten what they meant to me. Any differences that I have had with others were relatively minor and not difficult to resolve. When I have disagreed with your administrative policies, I know that I have still treated you with courtesy and respect.Because of this, it is impossible for me to understand why you
would consider me threatening in any way, and why you would single me out for uniquely harsh treatment. I have put up with it in the past because of the value Babble had in my life, but, at this point, your conduct towards me has become the most decisive factor. I feel that your attitude is inappropriate in a forum devoted to mental health; it is completely unacceptable to me.
Posted by SLS on January 21, 2014, at 14:20:32
In reply to Re: deja vu all over again » Dr. Bob, posted by Twinleaf on January 21, 2014, at 9:05:59
Please don't go away.
- Scott
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 21, 2014, at 14:31:10
In reply to Re: deja vu all over again » Twinleaf, posted by SLS on January 21, 2014, at 14:20:32
Ditto - we need you.
Posted by Twinleaf on January 22, 2014, at 21:35:02
In reply to Re: deja vu all over again, posted by Partlycloudy on January 21, 2014, at 14:31:10
Thanks, PC and SLS - I really appreciate your support.
Just in recent times, several posters have sworn at Bob and called him extremely insulting names, and yet they were not even given civility warnings. The only thing I did was point out that it was a lack of respect and appreciation on Bob's part for Dinah's really major efforts in carrying out his blocking policies five years ago that caused her to feel so angry and unappreciated that she finally blocked herself. During the time she was hoping for support, Bob asked her whether she had PTSD, and when she grew angry, he inquired what her blood pressure might be. These are very cold comments to make to such a long-time, central member of our community. I think that if her very natural need for appreciation had been met by Bob even slightly, she would still be with us.
This entire exchange is right here; it is recent. Most everyone has probably read it. I do not think I should have been blocked for simply calling attention to it. We all have the right, as people moving towards increasing mental health, to expect fair, positive responses from our administrator - just as he expects them from us.
If I am blocked again for something like this, I will never visit this forum again.
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 23, 2014, at 4:14:59
In reply to Re: deja vu all over again, posted by Twinleaf on January 22, 2014, at 21:35:02
> Why would you think it necessary to single me out for especially severe blocks?
1. I don't see them as especially severe. They follow the guidelines. Which I've been exhorted to follow, and which I do in general try to follow.
2. I haven't shown you leniency, that's true. I guess I'm not sure how else to respond to your pattern of actions, so I fall back on policy.
Would you like to suggest an alternative? Would you like me to allow you to take the lead, stay with whatever feelings you have, not ask questions or change the subject, and not analyze or interpret?
3. Do you have a theory as to why I respond to you the way I do? Is it that I consider you threatening?
> it is impossible for me to understand why you would consider me threatening in any way
Even now, fresh from a block:
> a lack of respect and appreciation on Bob's part
> very cold comments
Could you please rephrase those?
> If I am blocked again for something like this, I will never visit this forum again.
If you keep posting things like that, and I can't think of a better way to respond, I'll keep blocking you. Are we a rock and a hard place?
Bob
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 6:40:29
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on January 23, 2014, at 4:14:59
"Bob You are not a therapist here. You are a racist whore with a huge huge huge butt. "
Hope this helps. Sorry he's doing this to you Twinleaf. I think along with NPD perhaps he's a psychopath. Leaving would probably be in your best interest. Maybe you could find another blog or forum to meet up with your friends? He's an ungrateful little man. You helped a lot of people here and were always gracious and generous.
Bye
>
> Would you like to suggest an alternative? Would you like me to allow you to take the lead, stay with whatever feelings you have, not ask questions or change the subject, and not analyze or interpret?
>
> 3. Do you have a theory as to why I respond to you the way I do? Is it that I consider you threatening?
>
> > it is impossible for me to understand why you would consider me threatening in any way
>
> Even now, fresh from a block:
>
> > a lack of respect and appreciation on Bob's part
>
> > very cold comments
>
> Could you please rephrase those?
>
> > If I am blocked again for something like this, I will never visit this forum again.
>
> If you keep posting things like that, and I can't think of a better way to respond, I'll keep blocking you. Are we a rock and a hard place?
>
> Bob
Posted by Emme_V2 on January 23, 2014, at 6:46:06
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on January 23, 2014, at 4:14:59
> > Why would you think it necessary to single me out for especially severe blocks?
>
> 1. I don't see them as especially severe. They follow the guidelines. Which I've been exhorted to follow, and which I do in general try to follow.
>
> 2. I haven't shown you leniency, that's true. I guess I'm not sure how else to respond to your pattern of actions, so I fall back on policy.
>
> Would you like to suggest an alternative? Would you like me to allow you to take the lead, stay with whatever feelings you have, not ask questions or change the subject, and not analyze or interpret?
>
> 3. Do you have a theory as to why I respond to you the way I do? Is it that I consider you threatening?
>
> > it is impossible for me to understand why you would consider me threatening in any way
>
> Even now, fresh from a block:
>
> > a lack of respect and appreciation on Bob's part
>
> > very cold comments
>
> Could you please rephrase those?
>
> > If I am blocked again for something like this, I will never visit this forum again.
>
> If you keep posting things like that, and I can't think of a better way to respond, I'll keep blocking you. Are we a rock and a hard place?
>
> BobBob,
I support Twinleaf's post above, and I disagree with yours. I do not perceive Twinleaf's post as uncivil or disrespectful at all, just as I did not believe the post for which you previously blocked her was uncivil. I do hope you will reconsider what you are writing.
emme
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 23, 2014, at 8:19:33
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by Emme_V2 on January 23, 2014, at 6:46:06
I agree with Emme. Please show Twinleaf the same leniency as you are showing others (including myself).
Thank you.
PC
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 9:51:42
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on January 23, 2014, at 4:14:59
> you like me to allow you to take the lead, stay with whatever feelings you have, not ask questions or change the subject, and not analyze or interpret?
>Why are you using twinleaf's words describing therapy?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1059259.htmlBob you are not a therapist here. This is beginning to border on creepy as well as inappropriate.
Posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 12:24:34
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on January 23, 2014, at 4:14:59
OK. although I still do not understand the basis or reasons for your unusually harsh attitude towards me, and undoubtedly never will, I want to keep my options here open a bit longer. I do not think it's healthy to be put into a position where you have to say goodbye suddenly after a relationship which has lasted10 years, so, change my comments to read;
"respect and appreciation on Bob's part"
"very warm comments"
I was startled that you seemed to think that I wanted to replicate my therapeutic relationship in discussions with you - that seemed to me to be a very inappropriate comment, and is not evenly remotely the case. At the top of this page, you yourself have written, "discussion ..is not therapy". That is a wise statement that is very worth adhering to, not just in your interactions with me, but with the several other posters with whom you have introduced an unrequested therapeutic element.
Posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 12:48:21
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 12:24:34
>
> I was startled that you seemed to think that I wanted to replicate my therapeutic relationship in discussions with you - that seemed to me to be a very inappropriate comment, and is not evenly remotely the case. At the top of this page, you yourself have written, "discussion ..is not therapy". That is a wise statement that is very worth adhering to, not just in your interactions with me, but with the several other posters with whom you have introduced an unrequested therapeutic element.Twinleaf, are you familiar with the fable about the scorpion and the frog?
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 12:52:08
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 12:24:34
I admire a woman who can type with her fingers crossed ;)
> OK. although I still do not understand the basis or reasons for your unusually harsh attitude towards me, and undoubtedly never will, I want to keep my options here open a bit longer. I do not think it's healthy to be put into a position where you have to say goodbye suddenly after a relationship which has lasted10 years, so, change my comments to read;
>
> "respect and appreciation on Bob's part"
>
> "very warm comments"
>
> I was startled that you seemed to think that I wanted to replicate my therapeutic relationship in discussions with you - that seemed to me to be a very inappropriate comment, and is not evenly remotely the case. At the top of this page, you yourself have written, "discussion ..is not therapy". That is a wise statement that is very worth adhering to, not just in your interactions with me, but with the several other posters with whom you have introduced an unrequested therapeutic element.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 13:38:55
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 12:24:34
> OK. although I still do not understand the basis or reasons for your unusually harsh attitude towards me
you hurt him. and he didn't know what else to do / have a better way to deal with that to prevent the situation escalating. wasn't that clear?
sometimes... some people just don't bug us. even though it can be the same thing as stuff that someone else has said. you are usually... caring and supportive with your posts. you don't tend to fly off the handle (when it is clear that you are having a bit of a meltdown so it is easier for others to not take it personally). you don't go around dig dig here and a dig dig there - so it is easier for others not to take it personally.. instead... you are all calm and collected... posting stuff about how Bob doesn't have any feelings. but you hurt him. oh... the irony.
is that the right word??
damn you alanis morissette...
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 15:04:59
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 13:38:55
>
> you hurt him. and he didn't know what else to do / have a better way to deal with that to prevent the situation escalating. wasn't that clear?Nope. There was no situation to escalate. You are just parroting things he has said in the past. Why doesn't he know a better way? Such as treating everyone equally? Do you think Bob needs professional help? He has been bullying twinleaf for years. This is nothing new. Other people said practically the same thing and he ignored it.
>
> sometimes... some people just don't bug us. even though it can be the same thing as stuff that someone else has said. you are usually... caring and supportive with your posts. you don't tend to fly off the handle (when it is clear that you are having a bit of a meltdown so it is easier for others to not take it personally). you don't go around dig dig here and a dig dig there - so it is easier for others not to take it personally.. instead... you are all calm and collected... posting stuff about how Bob doesn't have any feelings. but you hurt him. oh... the irony.
>
> is that the right word??>
No it's not. I think you are projecting your own feelings about ole Bob on the situation. I think you should explore your fantasy that you are one of the few people capable of understanding Bob. And consider why you need to be his apologist.
Posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 15:22:11
In reply to Very diplomatic » Twinleaf, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 12:52:08
Thanks, HC! Your support and understanding is much appreciated, as is your delightful touch of humor. Let's hope for the best.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 15:24:58
In reply to Re: puhlease » alexandra_k, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 15:04:59
I think that the great thing about there being lots of people... Is that different people are able to empathise in different respects. I don't feel or believe that I have a special grip on what is going on in Bob's head all or even most of the time... For instance, I simply don't follow the dialogue that he has with Lou... And quite a number of other threads. I don't follow the desire to meet Babblers IRL... There are any number of things I don't understand. I think Dinah had some kind of a special grip on Bob with respect to the civility rules. I think she is probably the only? Prolific poster here who managed not to get blocked.
I've felt like Twinleaf in the past... And maybe still a bit in the present. Why me? Why block me for that? What I said really wasn't even that bad. Look at that worse thing that this other poster posted over there! Wah! Why me? Why you picking on me!?
Maybe...
It was about his saying 'stoppit'. And I didn't. Because I didn't see why I should.
But... Like I said to you over on meds... Enough! Time out! And when you didn't give it to me... Shields go up. But when one is trying ones best to moderate the boards in the interests of the group... Sometimes shields get low... And blocks come out... While shields replenish... Or something...
Maybe that is a way to think of it, anyway.
I know... It is a damn crying shame that he isn't God. That he isn't perfect. That he just has to do the best he can with what he has got... Same as any of us...
Posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 16:06:52
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Twinleaf, posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 12:48:21
No, I'm not. I'd like to know.
Posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 16:27:43
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Ronnjee, posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 16:06:52
The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too". The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp, "Why?"Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."
make any sense now?
Posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 16:43:02
In reply to Scorpion and Frog » Twinleaf, posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 16:27:43
It does. I think it captures the essence of what is going on perfectly.
When differences are resolved successfully, there are two winners, but when they aren't, both people lose. I lose my participation in Babble, and Bob - well, he will have to be the one to think about what the loss would be for him.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 17:15:42
In reply to Re: Scorpion and Frog » Ronnjee, posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 16:43:02
welcome back, by the way. it is good to have you :)
Posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 17:20:01
In reply to Re: Scorpion and Frog » Ronnjee, posted by Twinleaf on January 23, 2014, at 16:43:02
Interesting interpretation, but I was just referring to Bob simply doing what's in his nature.
Posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 17:42:37
In reply to Re: Scorpion and Frog » Twinleaf, posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 17:20:01
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFQ6zZ5aID4
I think Bob has made his character apparent through his actions. His words don't impress me much although it is fun to try and figure out his motivation. It's important not to invest much in them. He's not someone I trust based on his actions through the years. Certainly not someone I think is capable of teaching or giving moral guidance to others. Why does anyone expect anything different?
Posted by Ronnjee on January 23, 2014, at 17:52:35
In reply to Re: Scorpion and Frog » Ronnjee, posted by HomelyCygnet on January 23, 2014, at 17:42:37
> I think Bob has made his character apparent through his actions. His words don't impress me much although it is fun to try and figure out his motivation. It's important not to invest much in them. He's not someone I trust based on his actions through the years. Certainly not someone I think is capable of teaching or giving moral guidance to others. Why does anyone expect anything different?
I try really hard not to even attempt to assess another's character, especially online. I have often wondered what Bob is up to, but I honestly don't know. I could only guess, which would be stupid of me. I would prefer to deal with each encounter as it comes, trying not to let earlier encounters "color" my reactions.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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