Posted by susan47 on January 6, 2008, at 20:13:31
In reply to Brutally Honest, warning passion and desire, posted by susan47 on December 23, 2007, at 16:09:31
What have I learned, what am I learning, that I can be more than one person, I can be a lot of people and the past person I've been isn't the present person I am any more than the future person I will become, and maybe again I am all of those, better and better ... I want to be better, I want happiness more than anything. I know it's available, Available, only a thought away. There, not anywhere else but in my own head.
And his. Because we are all connected. But you cannot talk about that. You cannot talk and say things like, "we are all connected" because there are lots of laypeople who would disagree, there are lots of people who just run screaming for help from anywhere that's been a source of comfort in the past. Because making a new person, because changing, is dying too, and horribly, terribly frightening. Incredibly so. And most times, the new person emerging isn't visible yet, the new person has to forget all the atrocities and unkindnesses in her mind, of the past .. all the sad things she thought and all the ingratitudes she was capable of being. How life is such a gift, not to be played with and screwed up, but how she really did that, she did that willingly. Like the sheep to her slaughter she baa-ed, ahse baa-ed all the way, and all those things that were said were only monuments to the depth of unhappiness that can be experienced when one is massaging one's mind with bad-feeling thoughts, when one has been doing so for so many years it has become part of one's entire Being.
Sh*t.
poster:susan47
thread:802298
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20071223/msgs/804708.html