Posted by susan47 on June 18, 2006, at 23:21:43
In reply to Oh, yes, posted by susan47 on June 18, 2006, at 23:18:02
> And btw, know this ...
> know this.
> You've shown me well
> that in your world,
> I do not exist,
> I have no meaning,
> outside of that bed ...
> You have done no one any favours.
> No.
> You have not shown trust, nor humanity,
> nor heart ... not even patience
> nor interest.
>
> Who am I?
> Does it matter?
> Would you ever have known,
> or appreciated,
> trusted or given me my due,
> what is mine,
> because I am Me. Worthy
> More than you would ever know
> or care,
> and that is not my problem.
> It is none of my business,
> really,
> what you think of me,
> or what you thought then ..
> I suspect it was gentler.
> Gentle before ...
>
> Because I agreed, in my lust,
> I agreed that I could do this ..
> this thing ...
> this thing that I cannot do ..
> what I believed could be a carryover
> from my past, something new I could
> change history,
> my history .. well, it does not exist.
> It no longer matters, none of it.
> Nothing matters,
> because in my desire to be close,
> I f*cking sold my heart for far
> far too low a price.
> That
> is my history.
> The trail I leave behind ...
>
> The passing silver trail...
> words softly spoken, whispers of desire ...
> traitor ...
> traitor ...
> traitor .... the heart
> opens like a flower,
> bleeds colours of hope,
> knowing that the past is history
> yesterday is gone
> tomorrow is new.
> This moment is mine
> to live the way I choose
> This moment is my real hope.
> Because there is nothing so wonderful,
> and I know this because I have it,
> and I have had it and I will have it
> ever more often in my life,
> what is left of it, ... there is no magic
> like that of desire.
>
> And nothing more wicked,
> more guaranteed to cause pain.
> Nothing more wicked
> than the total and complete
> annihilation of oneself
> to the wrong person
> the complete absurdity
> of the idea
> that one could ever have been worthy
> of being loved. This is the feeling
> this is the reality
> when it is the wrong person.
> Because the truth is that of course
> I am lovable. Beautiful,
> in my own way.
> Wise, and wonderful.
> Damaged. But whole again.
> I can rise from this.
> Because my reality
> is the one I create.
> And I make wise decisions.
> Yes.
> I do.
>
>
>
poster:susan47
thread:658538
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060523/msgs/658544.html