Posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2005, at 17:01:27
In reply to Re: I can't be Objective, posted by Susan47 on December 20, 2005, at 0:17:33
I don't particular really mind being "abandoned", what a big word. I mean it's okay, it's the way of human beings. It's what we do. It just hurts to know that I brought it on myself, somehow, by being me I did this, I made this thing happen, this man behave in this way, he did it because of me or maybe not.
Maybe he did it because that's just the way he is, and nothing you did or said or could have done would've made any difference. Maybe, in fact, you could've made things worse, by not having your own boundaries, Susan. Maybe you did okay, maybe even better than that, because maybe you woke a sleeping snake and blind-sided it with the fact of its own nature.
Or maybe you did nothing of the sort.
Maybe you just angered a sleeping Giant, a teeny tiny little giant of a man, well at least the ego part was Giant .. but that's not a bad thing, is it? Is it?
I mean, who doesn't know what it's like Not to operate on ego? It's just impossible, you'd have to have no knowledge of yourself. The more you think you know yourself, the bigger your ego naturally gets, but then maybe some of the unattractive things about our natures get involved, and maybe
none of this makes any sense.
Or maybe all of it does.
But the silence has become sickening. It's become malicious, and deadly.
This man was deadly to you Susan.
But you loved him so much, that was the really sad thing.
Why, why would you do this for someone who never deserved so much good from you? Why would you care so much, about an illusion that your mind created for you?
WHY???
Dammit.
poster:Susan47
thread:575724
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051205/msgs/591951.html