Posted by alexandra_k on October 11, 2005, at 1:45:41
i'm tempted to say 'we don't need much'
but of course we do...
when you add it all up...
1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1...
for how many of us?and i'm tempted to say 'we don't need anything'
because i don't think we are supposed to...
thats kind of the point
thats kind of the point
(but of course some of us do)and i'm tempted to say 'its okay'
because you don't owe us anything
and you have already given us one hell of a lot
and i know the biggest thing is supposed to be each otherand it is...
but at the same time it feels like leaving a lot of little kids together and expecting them to be able to look after and fend for themselves.
and even if a couple of them get access to the big guy
so as to better help the others get along
there is still the point that it feels like leaving a lot of little kids together being left to look after and fend for themselves.and that is the thing that is so very hard about life.
and that is the thing that makes this place enable one to live.
because stuff you can't get in the real world
you can get here.and i know you aren't supposed to be part of that.
but the fact is that you are.and you don't owe us anything...
i know that.but none of that is going to stop us being devistated when you leave.
and when people are hurting they tend to curl up in on themselves.
and some of the people who are here
who are some of the greatest supports to others
who help you out the most with the others
are probably going to do that
and then...
we will lose them too
we will lose them too
and you have already said that there are people here who are such wonderful supports...
that thats what keeps other people here
lots of other people
and thats what keeps new people joining upbut if you go...
for how long?and i know that its not supposed to be about you...
but don't you see?
that it is one hell of a long road to being able to internalise things properly so you can do without an external source.
and i'm tempted to say that we don't need much
to be happy
but of couse we do.and i feel scared.
and i know i'm not supposed to.
or if i'm going to then at the very least i should just shut up about it.
but...
i'm really scared.sometimes peoples needs conflict.
i understand that.
i do.but that doesn't stop it being the most painful thing in the world
sometimes.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:565565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050910/msgs/565565.html