Posted by sunny10 on April 25, 2005, at 12:42:49
In reply to You, Him, Them, Us, posted by AdaGrace on April 25, 2005, at 11:13:04
I read your poem and saw a lot of myself there... the only one I don't know is the one who is allowed to drink to oblivion.
MY queen would never allow a drinker... yours seems more forgiving than mine. I have spent so many years on this roller coaster of "nurture AND nature" Major Depressive Disorder; sane for some time, then out of control; disassociative, et cetera. My queen allows for no more "lack of self-control" than the disorder already brings me. My queen actually makes my body throw up rather than keep the alcohol (more than two glasses of wine) in my system and risk a lack of control!!
Please keep your selves safe.
The sparrow will, in time, come to find peace and be able to recall the good times with fondness.
Time also will soothe the hormonal one. This is not something your queen can control.
The sexpot can get your mind, heart, and body in trouble; but you already know that...
The maniac will create more chaos than it "soothes", if you can let the queen have a little more control of the maniac and not let her drink so much, perhaps she won't need the "mother's little helpers" so much during the day. My ex-husband's maniac got out of control with drink; then his "king" stepped in with the uppers to combat the downer that alcohol is. He got so caught up in the chemical cycle that he lost control of everything, eventually. If you are still "in somewhat control" of the chemical cycling, please do all you can to stop the cycle. It is a dangerous one.
I know that my response is a pragmatic, logical one that may feel very uncaring of your emotional state, but I do care. And I feel that the emotional state is being exaserbated by the chemicals, honey, I really do. If you can EASE your pain a litle bit by controlling the chemical cycle, perhaps you can get to the point that you can start doing some healing for your sparrow so that you can feel better. It would definitely help to feel less fragmented, wouldn't it? I do understand about being fragmented. I have been a wounded sparrow more times than I care to admit (I'm pathetic, really) and have had to be different people for different reasons and then end up isolating because I didn't take care of the sparrow and help her heal. And as she is the heart and soul of me, it I found that for me it was IMPERATIVE to stop everything else and heal HER so that I could stop myself from bringing out the sexpot to "make myself feel attractive and loveable" and stop MY maiac from disassociation, et cetera (and, from your poem, I would say she is the heart and soul of you, as well)that is why I chose to reply to your poem this way BECAUSE I care, not because I want to tell you what to do...
Wish I could give you a real hug, but cyberhugs will have to do...
(((((((((((((AdaGrace))))))))))))))))
Love,
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:489233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050419/msgs/489268.html