Posted by Susan47 on March 7, 2005, at 14:14:13
In reply to I Can't See You.....Very Personal and Graphic, posted by AdaGrace on March 7, 2005, at 9:14:28
I'm printing it, AG. It's the most incredible truth you're sharing with us. We're all blessed to have you here. I can feel your emptiness, and you aren't filling it with him. But you tried so very very hard. You're very beautiful in so many ways, and yes you're beautiful physically, and you're beautiful in all ways to the right heart, and the right heart is there, somewhere, for you, and it's your own, and when you can reach in and touch it, and feel yourself there, other loves will follow. Real ones. And who will fill you up? You. And you'll feel the pleasure more and more every day.
You hurt because you knew you were being dishonest with yourself, with this new man, from the very beginning.
You don't love him, you never loved him, but you said what you thought would make him yours,
But it didn't.
He took advantage of your bad feeling for yourself, and made himself feel like Someone, but he's not, and you know he's slime, you KNOW what he's doing, you knew what his agenda was from the very beginnning. And when you're out of his life, he'll find another hapless one who needs to please him; not because he deserves anything like it, but because he's emptier than you are, AdaGrace.
And he needs you to fill him up.
So leave.
Show what you have without him by not needing him.
You know he doesn't care, and you know it won't matter to him.
And that hurts more than anything else, even the pain of being continually rejected.Can you be strong enough to let him find another he can feed his fragile ego on?
To do for him what he can't do for himself... in mirages, and briefly, until he's faced with his own emptiness again.
And perhaps one day, when he'd old and gray, he'll realize who you were. And it will make him angry with himself.You shown with your soul that you Can love. You can love yourself; that's the best revenge. Piss on him.
And there goes Susan, off on yet another tangent about her own self. And it makes so much sense to me. Does it make any sense to you, AG?
poster:Susan47
thread:467702
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/467828.html