Posted by Susan47 on March 4, 2005, at 16:53:04
In reply to Re: I just want to » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on March 4, 2005, at 16:33:29
Alexandra you always are so loving and wise (((Alex)))
My new t knows a great deal already. I told her almost everything... almost. She doesn't know the frequency. Once a day would've been enough to burn her out, she says.
I'm so ashamed.
I don't know if I can ever tell her everything.
But I do know I can tell her a great deal.
Because she's obviously heard it all, or at least she's ready for it all on some level. Her boundaries are very strick but she's sensitive enough to know when to let them down. Still, with me. And I think I won't cross hers, because I learned so much already, but it was such a painful lesson, so hard to learn when there was so much panic attached to the subject matter.
I don't like being alone.
Not at all.
It's like being dead, Alexandra.
And sometimes, being with the wrong people is also like being dead.
I need to hear his voice again, and I need to fight that. Fight it.Do you see how I try? Do you see? Do you listen? Do you understand?
I loved you, I still do.
I can't imagine not loving you.
And your name must remain
ever silent on my lips.
Always.I'm bleeding, my heart bleeds.
poster:Susan47
thread:465730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/466588.html