Posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 11:17:31
In reply to Re: Valentine promised, but not received » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on February 22, 2005, at 16:59:04
that's the question I have come to realize was the key to never experiencing that particular pain again.
Loving a person who is not available (legally, emotionally, or geographically, even) is not a particularly smart thing for me to have done.
There were a lot of reasons for allowing the entire relationship... I had to piece it all out and take really tough steps to refuse to allow myself to be abused - this time was the emotional kind, again- again!
It's part of the "devil you know" theory... I was used to thinking of myself as an idiot PLUS I had an over-developed fear of abandonment AND I had been in multiple abusive relationships before...
In a very self-sabotaging way, I was COMFORTABLE in this kind of relationship... How scary is that?!?
And, I hear there are plenty of others just like me out there.
My sister is one.
But she doesn't want to be helped- thinks she is beyond "saving"... Doesn't believe she is worth it. And we all know that the only person who can "save" us is us...(wish I could get her some insurance for therapy, though....She said she WOULD go, if only she had the money...)
She is me, two years ago...
poster:sunny10
thread:461477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050211/msgs/462233.html