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Re: ah, but why did I let him?!? » Susan47

Posted by sunny10 on February 23, 2005, at 11:17:31

In reply to Re: Valentine promised, but not received » sunny10, posted by Susan47 on February 22, 2005, at 16:59:04

that's the question I have come to realize was the key to never experiencing that particular pain again.

Loving a person who is not available (legally, emotionally, or geographically, even) is not a particularly smart thing for me to have done.

There were a lot of reasons for allowing the entire relationship... I had to piece it all out and take really tough steps to refuse to allow myself to be abused - this time was the emotional kind, again- again!

It's part of the "devil you know" theory... I was used to thinking of myself as an idiot PLUS I had an over-developed fear of abandonment AND I had been in multiple abusive relationships before...

In a very self-sabotaging way, I was COMFORTABLE in this kind of relationship... How scary is that?!?

And, I hear there are plenty of others just like me out there.

My sister is one.

But she doesn't want to be helped- thinks she is beyond "saving"... Doesn't believe she is worth it. And we all know that the only person who can "save" us is us...(wish I could get her some insurance for therapy, though....She said she WOULD go, if only she had the money...)

She is me, two years ago...


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