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I Saw Myself

Posted by AdaGrace on February 7, 2005, at 17:39:08

I saw myself,
seductively dressed,
face flushed.

Was it desire or wine?

I remembered that time.
Looking closer,
I saw the love shining in my eyes.

I was looking right at me,
No, I was looking at you.

I was showing you
how much I wanted you.
Needed you.
Desired you.
LOVED you.

It's written everywhere.
My face, my expression, my eyes, my parted lips.
My skin, my bare legs, left thigh sread.
My hand touching my breast softly.

I'm ashamed now.
Ashamed of my wantonness.
Ashamed of my vanity.
Ashamed of my lack of modesty.

Ashamed of my cellulite.
Ashamed of my muscular calves that don't fit my heighth.
Ashamed of my sagging breasts.
Ashamed of my rounded child bearing stomach.

Ashamed of my stupid, stupid self.

Forgiveness is easy to muster up and give to another.
Impossible to give to myself.

"Times they are a changin'".
But, forever will I feel the same way.
Forever will I want.
Forever will I need.
Forever will I regret and feel ashamed.

AdaGrace


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poster:AdaGrace thread:454543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/454543.html