Posted by sunny10 on November 16, 2004, at 9:01:52
In reply to Re: Terminating Therapy » sunny10, posted by Toph on November 15, 2004, at 17:12:28
It's funny, Toph, I DID just have a conversation on Friday evening with my SO about this. He agrees with you! You could have knocked me over with a feather when he said it, but I was apologizing for not "acting like an adult" and sticking around to hash it out. And he told me not to apologize, admitted that he knew he had hurt me, that he understood immediately that I had run- it wasn't like he thought I was just running an errand at first- he kept calling my cell to try to get me to tell him I was all right, but aside from that he said he understood that I would come back home when I felt comfortable enough to do so!
He's really incredibly strong. His baggage is that I scare him because his last girlfriend was a drunk (But I'm not) who wouldn't go into rehab; they broke up because of it. She kept trying to get him back until finally she showed up at a party that he and his housemate were throwing. She walked into his bedroom, pulled out his gun and shot herself. She lived, which is worse, and he has had to deal with the backlash from HER family and friends. You know, the ones who always want to blame someone...
So, yes, he keeps his guns locked up now (yes, they are licensed-legal) FROM ME. Because he has lost the ability to trust people to not hurt him by harming themselves. And maybe he should- I'm not suicidal, but some of the time I still wish I was dead. And I know that our life together will never be "free" until that cabinet is left unlocked and both of us are completely comfortable with that.
Maybe every couple has a physical symbol of their commitment to each other. I just know that that gun box is ours and that right now, it is enough that we can be honest in our communication and each ADMIT why the box is locked. And agree to work together on it.
By the way, I called my T and cancelled my appt with her tomorrow evening. I left the message on her answering machine and said I'd contact her if I need to schedule another appt.-sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:415047
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040925/msgs/416627.html