Posted by malthus on September 6, 2004, at 22:23:01
In reply to Re: poem...Boundless » malthus, posted by Atticus on September 6, 2004, at 21:21:03
Hi Atticus:
You are so right about the way parents react to mental illness. For example, my therapist thought it would be a good idea for my mother to come to one of my sessions to understand me better. And it was a fiasco. My mother had a cousin named Charles Henry that she was very close to when they were children. Charles Henry committed suicide when he was just 19, using a shotgun in the same manner Curt Cobain did. My mother was devastated by his suicide. It has taken her a long time to understand and to be compassionte towards me. Last fall when I was over at her house I expressed the anxiety I was having about leaving my apartment with my two cats alone. I couldn't enjoy myself when I was away from home because these intrusive thoughts of the apartment burning down and them dying was all I could think about. Plus when I would look and play with them I would start crying because all I could think about was the day they would die and how I would fall to pieces. I suppose because I was so concrete with my examples about how the anxiety was affecting me enabled her to understand what I was going through. My step-father was recently diagnosed with mild Alzheimer's and my mother has been in a support group with three other women for over a year now. I think that she has softened towards me because she has had to deal with his illness. She also bought the book "Darkness Visible by William Styron" and wanted to know if I wanted to borrow it. My mother reaching out to me has made me feel much closer to her in the past 11 months than I have my entire life. Plus I see her coping with Jean's illness and the great amount of patience she has developed (she was always always rather impatient growing up.) My father still doesn't like to talk about depression even though I believe he has battled it much of his adult life and last year had to take an AD and Ambien so he could sleep (he was trying to sell a house he had built in Arkansas where he had moved for a job but then retired and couldn't stand living in the boonies, but wasn't able to sell the house so he was stuck there.) Since then he has moved to Virginia, is much closer to his companion (somehow girlfriend seems a strange word for a 65 year old man--makes it sound like he's dating a 20 year old!)
Recently I sent him "Fusion" just to let him know what I was up to. He usually gets back to me on anything I e-mail him but not that! I just think for his generation depression was not to be discussed. Anyhow sorry to ramble on (great Zep tune) ;) malthus
poster:malthus
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