Posted by Atticus on August 16, 2004, at 11:16:58
In reply to Re: poem ... Pulp, 1997, posted by Jai Narayan on August 15, 2004, at 20:06:38
Hmmm. Trying to encapsulate what led up to my climactic attempt at self-obliteration is something I'm not sure I can get my head around just yet. At the moment, I feel it was an emotional and psychological tsunami set in motion 20 years earlier -- when the depression first struck at age 13 -- that finally broke on top of me. So I guess my answer is that this entire story cycle of poems about my past (except "Spots," "Almost 6," and "Atomic Cafe," which take place in the hospital and at home immediately after the suicide attempt, or in the case of "Atomic," is a metaphor for feelings I experienced as my family and I worked to forge a new kind of relationship) is an attempt to explain and understand what led up to this past spring's events. I'm finding that when I look back, I see a lot of triggers spread out over a long time. If these poems were put into chronological order, they'd form one big poem about why I slit my left wrist and forearm -- and there are still important bits of information missing, I think. These poems are, at their heart, an attempt to understand myself and to come to terms with a pattern of self-immolation that I now believe began much earlier than I'd ever previously realized. Atticus
poster:Atticus
thread:377646
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20040729/msgs/378238.html