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Re: no title » Karen_kay

Posted by Penny on February 6, 2004, at 10:06:31

In reply to Re: no title, posted by Karen_kay on February 5, 2004, at 23:36:14

Oh, yes, Karen, I'm absolutely certain this (along with other things my dad said to me as a child, teen and adult) has everything in the world to do with the lack of self-esteem I have now. There are many many such anecdotes I could tell about my dad, but this one in particular sticks in my mind for some reason.

Unfortunately, I do think my dad intended to hurt my feelings. He intentionally hurt my feelings on more than one occasion, and will still do it if I allow him to. (Though, knock-on-wood, he has refrained from critical statements in recent months, amazingly enough! Then again, I haven't talked to him that much!)

I figure my dad has a huge self-image issue himself. Sometimes I think he is purely narcissistic, other times, I don't know. I do know that he loves me, in his own way. Rarely, he was a doting father. And he was proud of my academic accomplishments, such as when I graduated from college. And he thought I was cute when I was little. But I don't think I turned out the way he wanted me to - oddly enough, his sisters and his mother, who he thinks the world of, all had weight problems much worse than mine. I just don't think I grew up to be the woman he wanted me to be. I don't think it would have been possible, even if I had been thin.

But, anyway.

Thanks, KK.

P


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