Posted by Bonnie_CA on September 14, 2007, at 4:28:03
In reply to Is there hope? Am I alone?, posted by Meagan on September 10, 2007, at 11:13:28
Funny you should post about this, because I'm feeling this way as of late. I love my job, but I just feel so overwhelmed, and the bad vibes from upset students (I replaced someone who had been there a long time) sometimes get to me. I am sitting here, debating if I should call in sick tomorrow. But see, I'm not sick. I'm just... blah. Not feeling it. But I don't want to call in because then I know it will just make it that much easier to call in the next time I feel blah. I too have BP2 with rapid cycling, and I think even with the meds, I'm still cycling some. I think I'm in a low point currently. My house is a mess. I feel overwhelmed and behind, partially because of technology issues at work. I feel irresponsible for not attending training to help myself. I can't focus on what work needs to be done. All I've been thinking about it when I get to leave so I don't have to do anything. This is the reason for wanting a three day weekend. I hate being so unstable!! I want to work and be the best teacher I can, but this condition makes it so hard!
Like you, I had done several different jobs, below my abilities. Never stuck with one for a solid year. There were times I could NOT work. I'm scared that I'm gonna crash and not be able to work at all.
I have no answers for you, only commiseration. If I knew how to fix or avoid this kind of problem, I probably wouldn't be visiting this board. :) But, I guess it's important to know, that you are not alone.
I think the worst thing is how people think you're just being LAZY. It's hard for someone to imagine just simply not having the energy to do stuff. It's hard for other people to understand how much you REALLY WANT to do stuff (work, clean the house, etc) but you just CAN'T.
Hang in there.
-Bonnie
poster:Bonnie_CA
thread:782005
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/work/20061208/msgs/782812.html