Posted by curtm on May 24, 2006, at 14:44:28
In reply to Re: I must confess to someone » curtm, posted by stickywicket on May 24, 2006, at 13:39:00
I can always say what I would do if I was me, but I don't because if I did I wouldn't do it anyway.
My wife told me when she found out that I was stealing Concerta from my own kid that she would rather see me using illicit street drugs before anything so low. Drug abusers are a sick breed. We do what we need to do to survive at that moment. At what point do we decide that cannibalizing our own family is not only hurting them but ourselves? I pictured my kid sitting in class all spaced out daydreaming during lecture while I'm all fixed up. I don't know if your DH is aware, but if I were your DH and I knew, I would probably go without meds for myself for your benefit- I mean not fill my rx so that you wouldn't have the urge to take them. Don't get me wrong, I understand, I did it, and I'm not telling you anything that I don't think you have told yourself already.
I am not an AA or NA preacher. I just want to make that clear. Personally I do prefer NA over AA. The groups are usually smaller and more focused. I couldn't stand to sit through some of the nauseating crybabyish stories at AA. The "Higher Power" issue at AA/NA is easy to get around. See I am agnostic (the Faith Board is probably dreading the day I walk through it's gates) There are a couple methods I used. One is the "bleep-bleep" or "I didn't hear those fknwords" method. The other is one that another member shared with me over coffee...
He said he had that same problem. He said the Higher Power in AA isn't necessarily God, it is anything that you has power over you. Right now the drugs are that. If you want to change that, you have to give that power to something else. As he pointed at the coffee cup, he said "It could even be this fkncoffee cup if you want!" Whatever it takes to get beyond those two words (especially the first one) in order to help yourself with the program. I started out with the coffee cup "power". Then I decided I liked my pencil that I took to my meetings better. Then I decided I was comfortable with the program itself as my higher power for a while. Today I will think of you as my "power."
Thank you for helping me with my first confession.
Curt
poster:curtm
thread:647370
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20060512/msgs/647890.html