Posted by ClearSkies on October 30, 2005, at 23:25:58
My in-laws stayed with us while their power was out at home in Miami. Usually a 2 day visit is enough for us to send them packing back home. This week we had their company for 5 days. My father in law dealt with the stress of being displaced and having his daily routine halted by consuming a LOT of alcohol. It was 2 martinis, many glasses of wine, and dessert wine every evening. Plus cocktails or wine at lunch. He becomes belligerant when intoxicated, and bears down on his wife. I can't stay silent when this happens, and so told him not to speak to her in such a nasty way, that it wasn't necessary. He sulked like a little boy for most of the week.
The mother in law bought a bottle of brandy to help her sleep. She tried the brand by swigging it from the bottle. In my entire drinking career, I'd only ever consumed beer from a bottle, everything else went into a glass before it hit my system. I asked my MIL if she wanted a paper bag to go with the brandy.We don't usually keep much liquor at the house these days, and my husband does not flaunt it when he has the ocassional glass of wine. Although I was upset by my in-laws behaviour this week in general (so demanding and ungracious refugees I have never met), my shameful response was that I should join in so we could all be miserable together.
I didn't do it. I was able to think through the entire sequence of drinking for me... the first few that you don't taste on the way down, the next couple that have no effect whatever, and then, the waking up the next morning. Your teeth are all wearing little sweaters on them. A drum solo has been set up in your brain. Whatever is in your digestive system deparately wants to get out and it doesn't care which exit is uses. And you just can't remember how and when you went to bed.
For a few minutes, it felt like a perfectly reasonable trade. I wanted their release and oblivion. I wanted not to care what my in-laws thought of me. I wanted the horrible anxiety to be erased for a few hours.
Instead I did not drink. I kept myself in the kitchen, cooking whatever stopped moving long enough. I did laundry. I went to the pharmacy, came home, then went to get groceries. I used every reason I could possibly think of, including bogus doctors'
appointments, so I could steal some solitude for a few minutes here and there.71 days today. I'm doing it. I'm meditating, I'm going to try another yoga teacher, another dance teacher. I'm interviewing for new therapists. I'm engaging in my life. This was a whopper of a test. So glad to have it behind me.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:573639
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050914/msgs/573639.html