Posted by tizza on September 23, 2005, at 5:58:23
In reply to Re: One load of poo » AuntieMel, posted by ClearSkies on September 17, 2005, at 7:17:08
I have just stopped drinking, i will be 2 weeks sober tomorrow. It's really hard but when your friends stop inviting you out, you know it's all about the demon drink and it really hurts. So you sit at home and drink alone because they don't want to be around a messy and sometimes verbally abusive drunk. So you just do it all alone at home and wake up in bed happy about the fact that you didn't get sh*tty or blackout in public, you just remember watching tv and then waking up in bed fully clothed. What kind of lifestyle is that!!!!!!!! Trapped in a viscious circle and not being able to control it. I'll tell you what it's like, IT SUCKS. It has taken me over 13 years to face up to the fact that I have a serious drinking problem. I tried AA about 6mnts ago. I went to 10 meetings in 10 days and I found it of no use whatsoever, in fact I found it so depressing that I would get some wine on the way home and drink my self into oblivion. I was lucky, I got a scare. I awoke in my room 2 weeks ago to find it full of otherworldly creatures which terrified me. I though I was dreaming at first and then it hit me, I can really see them, so I went to the loo, had a cigarette and went back to bed once I was a little calmer and haven't had a drink since. I'm on a low dose of effexor 75mg, valium for the shakes and ativan for sleep and about a thousand vitamins that a natropath prescribed me. Now I know the benzo's are addictive so I'm wary of them but they are helping me get to work without shaking. I just hope that I have the strength to keep it up. Spring has sprung and everybody is out and about sipping on chilled beers and wine and at the moment I still have the power to look the other way. Hoping to pull through this, sorry for the long post. Tizza (Paul)
poster:tizza
thread:545328
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050914/msgs/558428.html