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Re: Okay, here goes » AdaGrace

Posted by partlycloudy on October 15, 2004, at 10:08:41

In reply to Okay, here goes, posted by AdaGrace on October 14, 2004, at 17:05:37

Before I go any further, I want to tell you that this post DID NOT *TRIGGER* ME. I did this all by myself yesterday.

> Talk about planning when I can do it, where I buy it. I'm there also. Never go to the same store twice in one week. Can't wait until 5 so I can go home and glug down that first drink and then another. Never go to an in-law family event without having a few, since I can't stand them. Always get home a little earlier than everyone else so I can have those two drinks before I have to face the music. Face the people that make me miserable.
>
I was in such a state of anxiety yesterday, and I knew I was going to drink. When I came out of the liquor store, the anxiety had vanished. Just the act of buying the stuff made me feel better.

Wish I would have thrown it away, but no. I had a book club meeting that I make myself go to to get out of the house. I always drink wine when I'm there, but of course I had a cocktail before I left the house to get started. The last 2 meetings I've had way too much, and I am so embarassed. These are professional women - there's a couple of lawyers, a journalist, a dentist, and me, the receptionist. Feel quite inferior but I can read a book and talk about it. Next month I host the group at my home and I'm already dreading how I am going to face them. This is so hard for me.

 

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poster:partlycloudy thread:402905
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