Posted by antigua on September 9, 2004, at 16:30:08
In reply to This must be a universal problem » antigua, posted by partlycloudy on September 9, 2004, at 14:50:04
Good points, but perhaps your husband does see you clearly and loves you the way you are. He's your second husband, right? Well, sounds like he sees you as you are and is willing to make it safe for you, but you don't trust that he will love you the same way if he sees all your flaws (that is, if you have any flaws--only teasing). I've been married and connected to the same man for most of my life, ever since I was a teenager. We grew up together. As hard as things get, I know he loves me, but there is a point that he will back up if I totally screw up, particularily with the children. But I trust him and know if push comes to shove he would help me in any way he could. Problem is, he often doesn't know how to help. He feels helpless a lot, but he has problems of his own too. Is your husband perfect? Sometimes mine thinks he is, which can make me feel pretty low. (He's not perfect, though!) I am the designated person in the household with "problems" and that lets him off the hook, which isn't really fair.
just rambling,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:387951
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040722/msgs/388825.html