Posted by arrie on June 9, 2004, at 23:32:00
In reply to Re: Thanks Caper -Impermanence Re:ME ME ME » arrie, posted by Impermanence on June 9, 2004, at 19:30:34
Imperm, Lad, Chap, where are you living? Jolly old England I am guessing? You know my mum was an alchy. I basically reared her. I wish I knew then what I know now about addiction, I maybe could have helped her. She eventually drank herself into the custody of the state. Same thing with pop, he ended up in a "home". I noticed that it did not kill either one of them, so you can live through it. The thing with supply is this, just multiply all that horrible fear, with the fear of knowing cold turkey can kill sometimes, and if I am out, I am out. I get really scared I might die, but seems I never do. I have 50 pills now and I am thinking maybe I should try to kick it again cold, knowing at least I have them if needed seems to comfort me. When I am out I get terrified, you on the other have unlimited access and that can kill too, so its asically the same either way.
Have you ever thought that maybe you could drink in moderation? It is really a new theory that some alcoholics have found works. I just dont know. I know my medicine helps so much, I just feel better all the waay around, emotionally, physically, even spiritually. I think US medical system is messed up. Pain killers are yeah a big crime, but we can use poison like Botox, and stuff to get a big penis, that could give a heart attack, but just ask for a pain killer and that "lets sterile everything" attitude comes out. My son smokes pot, he shouldnt, but I dont make a big deal out of it, because there is so much worse out there that he could be taking, and it seems to unwind him. He is bi-polar and nothing to date evens him out too well. At least pot is a natural plant. I even think the poppy is a sacred plant, and if these things were just used in a medicinal way I would be all for that, but few agree with me I am sure, and I am a religous woman!
Anyway, you sound like a smart guy and it seems you are very tuned in, you have more than likely helped many people without being aware of it. How long has your battle with the bottle raged on? I think there is hope for both of us, I know so. I think you like me have not really given up the substance in our hearts and that is why we cant get over it. Or perhaps its the withdrawl blockaid. I mean I literally feel like I have no reason to live when I am off this drug. But when I am on it(being in my senses) I can see crystal clear the entire situation and feels the most motivated to quit, when I am ON IT. I hope this Dr can help. I am set up to see him early July, but I am thinking of trying to get in earlier. I will keep ya posted. Take care and drink lites for Chrissake.
poster:arrie
thread:353951
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/355279.html