Posted by man_oh_man1977 on April 25, 2004, at 22:32:53
In reply to schizophrenics - what are your drug experiences?, posted by ground on April 25, 2004, at 16:28:49
Hi Ground,
I usually don't read long posts; too straining on the eye. I was taken aback, however, by your writing. You have a nice, natural flow and seem to articulate your situation very well. (I should point out that I myself am bipolar, but read on, as the two illnesses are both confounding and hard [but not impossible!] to treat. Paranoia is simply what it is, and is more based on the individual rather than the disorder. )
Were you a regular user of the other drugs (you mentioned) and the cocaine in particular, and if so, how long? Of course, coke is *very* panic/paranoia inducing. The funny thing is weed – a seemingly benign drug that actually induces panic, paranoia, and if you’ve smoked *tons*, there is something out there called ‘marijuana psychosis’; rare, so I wouldn’t want you to jump the gun on that.
The synergy between all the drugs you have done, coupled with hormonal changes in your age group could be causing much of your distress. That’s why I asked you to elaborate on how much, which, frequency, and when? Self-medicating, btw, is what you’ve been doing. The difference between “street drugs” and psychiatric medicines is enormous. There is nothing wrong with self-medicating, except for the fact that these drugs usually crap out on you. And, more often than not, many people turn to substance abuse when they have a mental illness.
Bottom line: You need a diagnosis! There is help out there; try to abstain from your drugs (as you are doing) and distract yourself with pleasant activities. Obviously, you can write well – keep a journal; this will also help with your psychiatric sessions, as you can pinpoint occurrences and abnormal experiences. Try to find a reputable psychiatrist, even if you have to pay out of pocket for a session or two. You mentioned that you matured early; that is your ally. You, at the age of 17 are admitting something’s gone haywire. I am sorry I can’t share w/ you certain abnormal experiences, but I could tell you about my delusions someday soon. Oh, the fear and panic and paranoia up the kazoo.
Best of luck, keep us posted,
Man-oh-man
P.S I have some suggestions about the other drugs you’ve taken as well (and what they’ve done to you), but see if what I’ve wrote makes some sense to you. BTW, not having a car *does* suck!
poster:man_oh_man1977
thread:339898
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040409/msgs/339999.html