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Re: I don't know what is going on...

Posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2019, at 6:50:31

In reply to Re: I don't know what is going on..., posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2019, at 5:38:44

'you think you are better than us'

i didn't use to. Once upon a time... I did not think that. But over time... I got to you know you better. I got to know me better.

I see what you choose to do with the money and power that you have.

I see you choose to withhold basic resources from other people and use your power to harm.

And I do think I am not like you.
And I do think my way is better.

Because a game you choose to play is 'haha you lose too bad for you'.... Which is a fine game to play when you are winning it... When you don't have the cogitive capacity to simultaneously experience empathy for the position ofthe other... To have empathy for losing... That might make you re-think playing that particular game.

Zero sum game.

To appreciate that as the overall experience.

The cognitive capacity to have a sense of foreboding about the future...

About the inevitable time when one is the loser. When it is ones turn to lose.

And there is an element of not two-faced ness. There actually and genuinely seems to be an embracing of guilt. Punishment.

A decision to live in the garbage because one feels that one actually really is a bad person who doesn't deserve more who isn't worth more..

People choose to live like that.

But then they want other people to live with them, too. And then when other people don't want to choose to live like that you sort of have to force the people to stay...

These are the things. These are the things the people will say.

To try and control you with guilt and shame.

I realised that. Realising that was liberating from guilt and shame. Now I am seeing how else they go about controling. They will violate laws and regulations...

The awful is that this.. This awful squabble. This awful round and round... Becomes something that happens with.. To.. Time.

People spend their time making these remarks and comments.

Wasting ones life arguing with idiots.


I didn't know what to do...
They are only interested in wasting time.
They won't sign me off...
They say 'keep working'

I guess this is what happens with people's PhDs. People leave becaue the money runs out. THey finish writing them back home...
They live with their parents of whatever.
Many laughs about this.
Academics think it is hilarious.
Hilarious rite of passage.
Their students beign forced back home to work in pack and save or whatever while they go 'nonononono it is not good enough yet you need to fix the typo on page three and I will go on a 6 month all expenses paid world trip before I re-read it!'

Before they sign them off.

And so this is what they are doing to me...

I suppose there are many they don't sign off.

I suppose that you are expected to pander to them and humor them and obey their beck and call during the process. Otherwise... They wont' sign you off.

In other words: They only sign off on the psychopaths. The ones who brownnose while they are being treated like rubbish.

Then they get to enjoy doing the same thing to the next generation.

Because that is why / how the person stays motivated not to quit -- right? Delighting in the future vision of how badly they are going to treat the next generation...

I really don't want to be dealing with this stuff anymore. I want to be studying Medicine.


Well then... Why don't you take your riches and choose to study Medicine then?

Not jealousy... Just likeing to keep the person who wants to do it in a cage so they cannot.

Nobody in this country really wonders why their labs don't come back in time -- do they?

They submit their labs for examination and...




Thankyou very much for all your data.


And so that's the way it must be?




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