Posted by alexandra_k on October 11, 2017, at 23:06:30
In reply to drama, posted by baseball55 on October 11, 2017, at 18:13:30
I think that some people enjoy drama. They enjoy feeling like a heroine in a soap opera. The excitement of experiencing a rollercoaster of emotion helps them feel vibrant and alive. They enjoy being a centre of attention / source of entertainment for others in telling stories about their dramatic lives.
I find that such people can be entertaining, at times. But I also find them to be fairly exhausting company, for much of the time. I am a person who needs very little stimulus to experience intensity / depth of emotion and such people... Fill my cup very very quickly indeed and do not wish to be regulated downwards, at all... I find myself reeling in response...
> I should also add that a lot of the drama seems to revolve around poor boundaries (letting others create drama in your life). It's something that comes up again and again in the group. I feel I have and have always had strong boundaries (at one point, too strong - nobody could get in except my daughter and husband). Do you have good boundaries or is this something you struggle with?
I guess I wonder whether the drama is wanted vs unwanted. Sometimes people find themselves amongst a lot of it, and they really do seem to want an out... Othertimes people (it seems to me) are a lot more active in creating it / feeding the sources of it around them.
I wonder how much the boundaries thing is about... People getting a 'rise out of you' - if that makes sense. Something something about feeding the troll... I think the idea is something like that... Something about 'any attention being better than no attention at all'. Something like that...
I think that sometimes people may only want a simple acknowledgement from me. Just a brief nod or smile or eyebrow raise. Then they would be happy. But I get it into my head that if a person is working... Then just let them work. Instead of constant interruptions... I get it into my head to not feed the troll.... To willfully ignore... Which perhaps upsets people to escalate their distration to the point of outright abuse (at times).
Not sure whether there are points of connection at all?
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1095390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20160906/msgs/1095393.html