Posted by alexandra_k on August 8, 2014, at 17:44:18
In reply to Re: bugs » alexandra_k, posted by Twinleaf on August 8, 2014, at 9:16:03
i wasn't enraged because she said no.
i was enraged because she kept saying that i couldn't observe a lab in advance because it 'gave me an unfair advantage' to have seen the assessment. i told her that i saw that tests being handed out face down, yes. but that i didn't see the content of the test. i was enraged that she thought that that was an unfair advantage. because... i can't communicate with a person who thinks that. i mean... i just don't know what to say to them at that point.
i was enraged because she kept saying i was asking for unfair advantage rather than reasonable accommodation.
i was enraged because she kept saying they were offering me accommodation and when i asked what accommodation they were offering me she started telling me that i wasn't any good at biology. then when i said 'oh the 'maybe you just suck at biology' objection' she went all 'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME'.
her position is to deal with the giggly flirters who didn't turn up to their lab because, like, they forgot to check their timetable tee hee. or they didn't make that test because big eyes they couldn't find the room. i'm sure she's great at managing such students. herd them through, take 3 years of money out of them. give them a science degree because, you know, they just LOVE SCIENCE because LABS ARE SO FUN!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
i won't have to deal with such people beyond first year.
but next year is first year all over again. except it will be full of the best kids as well as some stragglers. currently... i'm mostly dealing with the straggle...
we will have to see. i'm afraid because chemistry labs got to the point where i couldn't walk into the laboratory without having a full on panic attack / overwhelm that took me out for most of the day. through the semester... labs got progressively worse. i'm concerned that that not happen again. by setting things up in order to prevent crisis.
but i must remember: the reason borderline personality kicked off so very f*ck*ng well over here is because we have no f*ck*ng sense of prevention at all. it is all ambulance at the bottom of the cliff and 'aw we would have spent money on helping them but they went and killed themself and look at the savings we've made!'
of course she wants me to waste three years on a useless degree... that's her f*ck*ng job... to herd the straggle through that. and of course people straggle (do poorly). her job is to deal with the straggle. to console them. when they look at her with big eyes and oggle over how SMART she must be to have such a BIG INTIMIDATING DESK position at a university.
like how the sport people at tech wanted to keep me, too. keep me off the streets. keep me babysitting them... and physio wanted to keep me too. the accommodation people where i was so very very very very very f*ck*ng unhappy. they wanted to keep me. horrible frantic clawing. 'being friendly' we call it.
i have a lot more empathy (really very masses and masses and masses of it) when such people are: not in positions of power over me. because such people... if i don't look after them they tantrum / rage. but they are being paid how much exactly to look after me? LIVID.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140718/msgs/1069418.html