Posted by alexandra_k on May 23, 2014, at 1:08:42
In reply to Re: Never normal, posted by Phillipa on May 22, 2014, at 20:51:49
i was going to have a speel about how normal is just a place on a bell curve... things like sexism and racism are statistically normal - but do we hold those positions up as something to aspire to? 'most people' are really rather insufferable (in most respects, even, haha) do i really want to be like them???
perhaps that line is helpful or inspiring in some way... i think... i find it to be at times...
on the other hand... there is something... the pain. the suffering. the... grieving? that something kinda sorta like that that most people do not feel (surely?) that it would be better (nicer) not to feel... to think that that feeling will haunt one always... that... obliviousness? that 'most' or 'normal' people feel is... always elusive.
not sure if any of this is relevant... but in case it is and it helps...
i've felt like there was something deeply disturbingly wrong with me ever since i can remember. most of my life has been the pursuit of what that was. to understand it. to... gain control over it. mastery of it. escape from it at times. it's ruled my life for sure.
i've learned that there is this social facade that a lot of people put up. that quite often we do not know what goes on for most people behind closed doors. i think quite a few more lament their lack of normality... perhaps to the point of it being quite normal, even. but i also think that in some respects i have turned out to be quite different from most others. in ways that were different from what i had supposed before...
there is this speech... 'don't mourn for them'. us. me. whatever... it is about autism... but i think it could be about whatever you like, really. it is about the loss of an ideal. it is about coming to terms with reality being different from whatever ideal it was that one had about how things were 'supposed to be'. about coming to terms with that... and working with the reality to make that as wonderful as possible (warts and all) and perhaps even... to discover kinds of beauty far beyond what one ever could have imagined in ones narrow little ideal that one had prior:
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1065941
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140502/msgs/1066003.html