Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2013, at 0:33:03
In reply to Re: trial run, posted by Dr. Bob on February 15, 2013, at 14:37:18
I think I'm back to being confused.
> I'm thinking maybe it might be appropriate when posters don't want to feel alone, or don't want other posters to feel alone. Since if someone feels "joined", they won't feel alone.
Well, that's likely true. But don't we already do that? If you introduce this technique to use in times of trouble, that's one thing. Although frankly I'm not sure how efficacious it would be then. In fact, I can think of a good number of times when it has been attempted and failed. Both sides need to be involved and interested in trying to find common ground.
But I'm surprised you think this is something we need to learn. Isn't that a good part of what Babble already is? A place to discover that our feelings, reactions, responses to medication, etc. are shared by others? That we're not alone? Babble has always done that, and without a lot of groupspeak or formal effort. It is the bedrock foundation of what Babble already is.
Which does not mean that all babblers find themselves on the same page with all other babblers. Or that they should. Having different experiences, and respecting those different beliefs and experiences leads to feeling part (and being part) of a community as much as feeling on the same page with others.
Frankly Dr. Bob, I often am not on the same page with you. But I can try to understand why you're on the page you're on, what page you want to be on, etc. I can respect your experiences without necessarily sharing them. I can even try to help you find what you need from Babble, even if it isn't what I need from Babble.
Isn't that also a way for people to feel together?
> I see it as more than you feeling I understand. It's also that you feel I share the feeling you expressed. That we share that feeling. That we both belong to the subgroup that has that feeling. That you're not alone in having that feeling.
>
> I'm open to different ways to phrase that. How about: "Do you feel we're on the same page?"Much better.
> Exactly. I feel we're on the same page. That we share the feeling that this technique has potential. But that's a different page/subgroup than the feeling-this-is-unnatural page/subgroup.
Well, we might or might not. My feelings don't fit so neatly into a subgroup. And I don't really feel understood or on the same page when people come to conclusions about how I feel or think.
> That's a great example of joining/feeling on the same page. Dinah didn't just feel 10der understood/communicated, she felt 10der had the same feeling she did.
But 10der and Dinah *did* have the same feeling. And Dinah expressed her delight in it, just as 10der has expressed the same delight in similar situations.
But Dr. Bob, it was a delight. Those moments of attunement are so rare and so unexpected that delight is the natural consequence.
Trying to program ourselves to come to that moment more often won't make the moments come more often. And it may rob the moments of the delight they naturally contain.
> The Borg is involved now to explain and demonstrate this technique. Would it feel more comfortable if the Borg stepped back?
So that we could continue with the technique ourselves? No, I can't say that would feel more comfortable for me. I joined this discussion mainly because I was feeling particularly in charity with you for your remark about cyber relationships. While I didn't particularly understand what you were doing here, I wanted to give you the gift, so to speak, of engaging on a topic that appeared to bring you enjoyment.
Without that enjoyment on your part (and feelings of being in charity with you on my part), I don't think I'd feel more comfortable in continuing. I think I'd feel darn awkward.
> > [trial run to see if any part of PB is safe for me]
> >
> > 10derheart
>
> What feeling do you think she's expressing? Do you share that feeling? Can you communicate that to her?
>
> BobI think 10der and I may possibly again be on the same wavelength. I don't call someone my sister on a single isolated point of being on the same page, no matter how delightful the experience might be. I suspect that since 10der expressed the feeling that an unmoderated Babble felt unsafe to her, as it feels unsafe to me, she was trying to see if she could find a meeting place between learning to use Babble in a way that feels safer, and Babble perhaps being moderated in a way that feels safer.
Not that I want to speak for 10der. We may not be on the same wavelength at all on this.
poster:Dinah
thread:1037205
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20130101/msgs/1038160.html