Posted by violette on August 2, 2010, at 20:56:37 [reposted on August 5, 2010, at 15:13:54 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Was Told To Take No More Meds From Someone In » violette, posted by Willful on August 2, 2010, at 17:32:46
"Phillipa doesn't need to justify her questions and hesitations-- but I do know, as someone who has in the past put in what I thought was a lot of time and energy trying to respond to her confusion, and to encourage her to take what she seemed to think would be positive steps that she was afraid to try-- that it might be important for her to review some of her habits....What I hope is that she'll realize a bit that she needs to take these risks, and try some meds that might help her, even if she's afraid of some unforeseen difficulty." - Willful
No one here owes anyone anything for putting in a certain amount of time/energy to respond to questions or posts.
Some fears are irrational. Some are real. Who are we to say which fears should be faced head on, and which ones need to be worked out through understanding and compassion-things that may help strengthen a person to build up courage to face such fears when a person is ready to face them? And maybe fears are an element of her illness-can't anxiety usually be traced to irrational fears?
To tell someone who is afraid, or perceived to be afraid, to just not be afraid is similar to telling someone who is depressed to just be happier.
If there are fears, getting to the root of them may have different results than pointing out what someone is doing 'wrong', insinuating one would be better *only if* one did x,y,x...?
If a person who is depressed-someone who doesn't have the motivation to exercise and prepare home cooked meals were told--"if you only reviewed your habits, perhaps you would not be so depressed"...it may add to their discouragment, or so I'd imagine. I think most people know such changes would help them, but building up the courage to make changes is another thing. And some people may feel bad enough not doing what they *should* be doing.
Or at least when I was depressed in the past, I'd feel discouraged when I read online - if people only ate better and exercised more, they wouldn't be so depressed...while I knew that was true, that making those changes would help if even just a bit, because I didn't feel capable of doing those things-it made me feel worse to hear this as it would reinforce how i somehow am faulty for not doing x-y-z...in a state of depression, I'd beat myself up. On the contrary, if people understood how difficult it is to make those positive changes while in that state of mind, encouraging me by suggesting alternatives-such as baby steps, or things they've done with success despite being depressed, etc., would help me to feel more hopeful, and give me some inspiration towards making positive changes.
I guess it all depends on the unique situation of an individual.
poster:violette
thread:957304
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100716/msgs/957310.html