Posted by Timne on July 3, 2009, at 20:51:40
In reply to need strength re toxic birth mom ??**trigger**??, posted by surfergirl on July 3, 2009, at 18:55:39
"Mom that was so kind of you to recognize you weren't up to raising us. I wish I could do more to support your needs, but I fear I'll only make things worse for you because, well, we just never got to know each other well enough for me to be a good friend and your long lost daughter, too. I was so busy, I really couldn't find the space emotionally or otherwise to meet with you. If you enjoy my company and find it helpful in dealing with your loss as a parent, I hope you'll find the courage to stay in touch."
some such approach -- maybe in a card she can save or tear up or whatever -- would a. affirm her lack of qualification as a parent and the value of her recognizing that b. clarify that her reason for wanting to see you is to meet her needs and c. establish that if she does visit with you, it's because she finds you fun to be with. sometimes a little grease makes things slide better...
poster:Timne
thread:904810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090624/msgs/904842.html