Posted by Deneb on May 3, 2009, at 21:17:30
In reply to Re: My Mom wants me to get married, posted by desolationrower on May 3, 2009, at 1:12:23
I know my Mom feels like it is abnormal to be single. The thing is, there are a lot of single people in my family. Two of my older cousins are single. I have never seen them in a relationship. My youngest aunt is single. Some people on my Dad's side of the family are single too. You'd think it was genetic LOL.
One of my aunts is as good as single as her husband lives in Hong Kong and visits once in a blue moon, when he is in trouble.
There are a lot of people in my family that for whatever reason, did not marry. Some want to marry, but it just hasn't happened.
I also know my Mom feels like her life's work is incomplete as long as her daughters are unmarried. My sister has a good steady boyfriend so I don't think she is as worried about her, but I know she is worried about me.
I'm not sure what defense mechanisms I have in place. It is true I love Dr. Bob, but not in a romantic way. My pdoc (who is my therapist) thinks I am attached to Dr. Bob because he is unattainable and "safe". She thinks that I love him because I know for a fact nothing will ever happen between us and that feels safe to me. I think that makes a lot of sense.
I haven't really talked to my pdoc about being single. We mostly talk about avoiding things. She does think it is strange that I avoid people in real life, but I long to be with Babblers in person. She thinks I actually do like being around people, but my social anxiety and avoidance gets in the way. Maybe I am afraid of being in a relationship.
poster:Deneb
thread:893917
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090421/msgs/894123.html