Posted by fayeroe on May 5, 2008, at 15:26:36
In reply to Re: Expecting the worst instead of enjoying positives » fayeroe, posted by Kath on May 5, 2008, at 14:43:59
> ....we are naturally going to worry when things start looking "up"> It is normal.
> >
> > We are waiting for the "other shoe to drop".
> > I've done it so many times that I can do it in my sleep now. :-)
> >
> > xoxoxo Pat
>
> ******Pat - you say "It is normal". Do you really think so? I've looked at it so much as a personal weakness in myself!
>
> luv, KathKath, think about this, when someone says "I love you" one thousand times and then says "I hate you" one time.....which statement do we analyze and worry to death? "I hate you".......that is normal behavior.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop is normal and more so when we have been hit in the head with the first shoe. The first one hurt, so would we anticipate that the second one won't hurt as much or more?
Once we've been disappointed, scared, discouraged, angry over how a loved one behaves, we're hyper-sensitive about the future.
You are not weak. I am not weak. We are human beings who would really rather not be hurt again but we expect it to happen.
AND we probably "over-think" things....I know that I do.
I learned years and years ago that expectations will bit me in the *ss everytime I start projecting about how everything is going to "be"...
Trust has to be earned back....we don't just wake up on morning and say, "okay, you are trustworthy now"......(in the prison the slang for untrustworthy is "neffe".....:-)
xoxoxo pat
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poster:fayeroe
thread:826752
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080428/msgs/827359.html