Posted by Kath on February 6, 2008, at 17:18:13
In reply to Re: Still feel bad, posted by Deneb on February 6, 2008, at 17:02:17
Typically abusive behaviour.
An abusive partner will be mean, cruel, etc, then bring home flowers & say they're SO sorry.
I think Dinah had some good ideas about dealing with her.
You don't need to hold a grudge, but maybe you can point out, next time she tries to make you laugh, etc:
Sister, if you think about our most recent interaction, you might realize why I am NOT going to be interacting with you right now. I am willing to relate to you in a respectful adult to adult manner. I will respect you. I need you to behave respectfully with me.
Then smile (or not) and walk away.
I would say that the best way to teach her to treat you differently is to say something like the above, and then walk away. Each time she is mean or disrespectful, then tries to act like nothing has happened....point out "I need to be treated with respect. That hasn't been happening." I'm not even sure what I'd say then. Maybe Dinah has some ideas. She seems to be able to be WAY more detached about this than I am. Maybe because I am an only child & haven't had to deal with this.
hugs & hugs, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:810865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080130/msgs/811131.html