Posted by Existentialist on September 24, 2007, at 0:24:52
In reply to Re: Loosing my sanity., posted by Quintal on September 19, 2007, at 19:46:12
It's actually pretty bad right now, I don't get things anymore. I don't get other people and I feel I can't be normal. I used to get the show southpark, well, I watch it and I don't get it, I don't get it when other people talk to me, and I don't get it when I talk to them, it never comes out right at all. I watch people on TV and I don't get it, why anyone cares, or why they say what they say. I think they don't feel, or not like me, like they could never get me, or feel me, or know what I know. And likewise I don't get them, I can't imagine what it's like to be them. So this condition, it tests sanity.
I have no relationships in which anyone knows my whole story or anything about me, and I never approach it in a way that I might tell them the truth, I approach it like I have to lie, and not just lie to 'protect myself', but protect them from seeing me as I am, because it would freak them out and they'd run. They need someone simple and easily understandable, like them. They could talk to me for years and never get anything out of me.
And not only that I don't trust them. I trust only to react according my predictable mental model, that they are devoid of any inner substance or caring or capable of even understanding their own life. They seem unconscious to me, I know when I trance out and go around just like them I feel unconscious. They're just regular joes and I'm a hardcore atheist with Marxist sentiment who at the least despises the the unconscious and uncaring consumer society that domesticates us and strips us of any real feeling. I always think if they only knew what I knew they would weep over the tragedy of it all, and cry over their own victimization when they realized the truth.
Personally I'm strongest in my nihilistic moments when I say F it all, and disregard the whole thing and everyone in it as unknowing, helpless victims to societies machinations. It's a lonely world.
poster:Existentialist
thread:780069
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070827/msgs/784782.html