Posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2007, at 12:30:35
In reply to Re: Quandry needing some input, posted by Phil on August 31, 2007, at 11:33:20
Thanks to everyone here and on the Relationships board for your thoughtful and common sense answers. Face to face (we last saw step daughter on Sunday), she has nothing to say for herself except that she's tired, that her mom is "crazy", and that the ex-boyfriend is "crazy". Nothing that *she's* doing is crazy, nosiree.
We asked (begged, actually) her to keep in touch with collect phone calls, but have heard nothing except what the crazy mom has to report. The crazy mom was giving her money for gas until the car went pffft from lack of upkeep.
So for now we do nothing except maintain the same offers of help we've had before - therapy if she'll show up for it. (And the subcontext there is we'd pay for a rehab stint if she'll admit to any of her substance abuse problems we suspect is behind all of these related issues of basically not showing up for life.)
Sigh. Being a step mother is so hard. To have my heart broken in so many pieces every single day is something I hadn't counted on. But my husband and I *are* in agreement that being firm is the best thing to do, so at least he and I aren't in opposition over this. I don't think I could bear that on top of having to hold my own boundaries steady.
Thanks again for all your thoughts.
cs
poster:ClearSkies
thread:779922
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070827/msgs/779971.html