Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 27, 2007, at 7:41:55
In reply to Re: Living in a angry household, posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2007, at 12:29:16
Hi Matt,
I lived in an angry household for my first 18 years. I think it helped me to have an escape route. For me, personally, it was my education. I knew that if I did well enough on my SATs and stuff and applied to enough schools I could pick one that would be far far away. And I did, and I ran. Far away, as fast as I could. I had to take out massive amounts of student loans, and I'm still not out of school, but, I'm out of their reach.One interesting difference between me and you is that you are able to externalize the source of your misery. for a long time (like, 27.5 years?) I thought that the misery I had at home growing up was a product of my too-delicate psyche. I thought I wasn't tough enough to handle it. I got mad, but mostly I avoided fighting back, because I was always the weakest in my family (physically and verbally). But, perhaps I was the strongest in a way too.
One of the sources of my strength was to have a dream. They will try their best to take it away from you Matt, but don't let them. You may feel like your dream is dumb, but it's NOT. maybe you want to be a rockstar, or a doctor, or drive exotic cars for a living. it doesn't matter what it is. it's YOUR life, and if it gives you comfort and hope and provides you with direction, you've got to hold onto that, as hard as you can, even when you're in the middle of the battle, know in your heart that you WILL survive this and you are stronger because of it.
and take care of you, because you deserve much better than what you're getting right now.
blove,
Ll
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:744239
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20070322/msgs/744559.html