Posted by wishingstar on December 11, 2006, at 14:08:55
In reply to Yeah Wishingstar! ;-), posted by Happyflower on December 11, 2006, at 3:54:49
thanks :) I do have a few photos that I'd be happy to send babblemail to anyone.. but there is a big rule against taking any photos during rehearsals or performances in my studio, so I couldnt post them here. Posting any photos online could be a recipe for disaster if anyone involved ever found them. But I'd be happy to share individually.
Dance is just something I do for fun. I didnt take my first ballet class until a few years ago, and to be professional, you have to start auditioning by age 18 or 20. I'll be 24 this month and my technique is no where near professional. I'm even with the 12 year olds in my studio.. hah!
Luckily I felt pretty good about my performance yesterday, but I've definitely had moments like the one you described after a bad class. I tell myself I'm never going back, I cant do anything right, I was a complete embarassment. And then I go back and everything is okay. The mistakes I did make yesterday probably were more noticable to me than anyone else though, you're right. Although in one performance, during the waltz of the snowflakes, one of my snowflakes (we hold one in each hand - shiny pipe cleaners on little silver craft sticks) fell apart, leaving my dancing with just a little shiny stick in one hand. That was certainly interesting!
Everyone pretty much knows about my dancing now. But I dont have many friends really anymore so it doesnt make much of a difference. I did invite all the girls I used to work with (about 6 of them) and several said theyd come, but none did as far as I know. My mentor from the university is disabled and unable to come. My old friends from my graduate program (before I dropped out) knew but didnt come. My only close friend was there each night because he was performing as well. I havent lived with my parents for about 6 years so it isnt as terrible that they didnt come I guess. It is a 2 hour drive. Wanting my mom there was mostly just the little girl in me talking, not the realistic adult I guess. Maybe.
My mother actually called today to ask a question about something else. I mentioned that Nutcracker had happened. I'd told her the dates before, and that it was coming up, and she never mentioned coming.. but then today, she said several times she would have come if shed known. She said she thought it was next weekend. This should make me feel good, right? Honestly, it made me really, really sad. My mom could have been there. I wanted her to see me. It's my own dumb fault she didnt. I thnik the real thing here is "I want her to be proud of me".. or I want anyone to be proud of me really. I wish she'd been there. I said I was sorry several times and she never said its okay.. I think she really wanted to be there. I just feel so sad. My mother and I have never been even remotely close.
We have classes this week, but then we have a holiday break. I'm not going to class tonight.. I need a break! But I'll go Tues and Thurs. Then in Feb or so, we start preparing for our spring story ballet! Last year it was sleeping beauty.Thanks for being interested. :)
poster:wishingstar
thread:712110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20061208/msgs/712620.html