Posted by corafree on August 4, 2006, at 14:51:27
In reply to Re: What's ACPA? » corafree, posted by llrrrpp on July 31, 2006, at 22:26:15
I believe the decrease in med (narc) was a real shocker to my system and agree with you Jost. It coincides with when all these digestion problems got so much worse.
The Miralax doesn't stop 'bloating you up' until the morning (or sometime after I've fallen asleep?). 'If' I was living w/ someone, it would be a nuisance, but I'm not, so using it.
My OB-GYN is also a top doc here that I hooked up w/ 15 years ago and is a male. I'm not sure he'll be too concerned about the butt doc's treatment of me. Maybe a bit.
Nope, butt doc not worth my time. Agree.
Potatoes okay. Ok. Kath .. I've printed out alternative info. My daughter thinks I should try scrap together enough pennies to see a holistic/herbdoc(?) and I do also.
Find a new medical doc; yes I will ultimately.
My current PCP just shook his head like 'don't be silly .. you're not worth all the time and money it takes to diagnose celiac' when I mentioned my GYN wrote it on my referral to the butt doc. Obviously the butt (colo-rectal) doc paid no attn to it either.
Oh, the night before the colo, I called the butt doc w/ my fears re: high pain tolerance and he said 'Your insurance won't cover general anesthesia'. I've since called my insurance and they've told me all he had to do was request it. He hasn't called me since I left there bewildered. I haven't called his office.
Generally, docs take one look at my insurance and either tell me it won't cover something or intimidate me by saying it won't, when it will.
I posted over on meds board about finding an internal med doc instead of a family doc for my PCP. Maybe a woman would be better .. not sure .. once beaten badly by a woman.
I'm back on Percocet as prescribed for now. Until I can 'get some support in cutting down', I can't do it alone.
Now that's my big hurdle. This seems like an impossible request. I say, 'I'll cut back, if you'll hospitalize me'. Will that fly? I don't think so. 'I live alone. I have no one to do errands for me.' Will that fly? I don't think so. So, I'm in a quandry. I won't p/u a man just for this reason. Maybe, going to ACPA meetings is the ticket. I can get this issue addressed. I can't do it alone, so I'll share that at a meeting and see what reactions I get.
The 'cutting down' had insides in constant helter skelter and outsides weeping!
I have the book, Prescription for Natural Healing, though .. 'still unpacked' here.
I'm afraid 'the system has got me' and I'm thinking of looking for a way to struggle free. And, but, of course, asking myself, if I should?
I don't feel very strong this day.
My mind keeps going back and forth, ... but something's happening ... usually this is the way I get somewhere ... 'a lot of personal emotional and psychological drama' and finally there I am ... 'somewhere else'.(?)
I'm a very passionate person.
If it is in my best interests to exit the system, ... I'm struggling w/ my courage.(?) Have I enough to 'ram' my way out of this, or will I roll over and fade to black.
Guess my first move is to answer 'is it in my best interests'.
My occupation has been 'taken over by computers' during the time I've not been working. Hmmm.
Getting here and posting is the most productive thing I've done in days. No one is coming to my door to help me. I have asked for help. She refused. I'm wondering how do I get out of this system and back into life. It's been a constant thought in my mind since the butt experience. One of the reasons he treated me badly is because of 'stigma @ being in this system'.
Who am I? I'm a person recovering from trauma, but for the first time in many years, off of an AD, feeling better, not feeling I need one like I always had before, and only now on Valium. I really did have your major textbook nervous breakdown (very physical) a little over a year ago. What am I? I'm a person labeled
'serio*sly me*tally i*l' to fall into a system where 'you are financially cared for'. When? About five yrs back, I was missing about a day of work a month re: depression or neck/head injury. I was harassed for this and resigned. Where? I went to SSAdmin, applied, and rec'd disability. How? I had 'the map'.(?)So the big ?s are 'should I do this' and 'can I do this'?
One thing is for sure, I couldn't have gotten through this w/o you all. These days I haven't replied, you've been on my mind all the time.
sincehere, cf
poster:corafree
thread:670254
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060728/msgs/673683.html